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eXiled Alert! / December 16, 2008
By Mark Ames

For just 300 rubles or about 10 bucks, Russians now can decorate their aquariums with replicas of the sunken Kursk submarine, in which 118 Russian sailors suffocated to death eight years ago. Note the certificate authenticating the important fact that the aquarium decoration is “Made In Russia.”

What could be a better X-Mas gift for your fishies? Imagine your Harlequin Rasboras darting beneath the hull, your Kissing Gouramis frolicking o’er the propellar, your ever-curious Glowlight Danios nibbling their fishfood flakes inside the Kursk’s mess hall…it’s both fun and educational!

Some Russian livejournal bloggers are already crying “too soon!” Others are insisting/hoping that it’s a hoax, which again leads to the “too soon!” whine. As one blogger bleated, “Would an American put a replica of the Titanic in his aquarium?”

Answer: No. But that’s because when Americans die, it’s a tragedy, whereas when other people die, it’s kitsch. Comedy isn’t as simple as people think it is, folks.

Thanks to Ilya, the eXile’s designer-god, for forwarding this on.

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  • 1. farmer iggy  |  December 16th, 2008 at 8:42 am

    Answer: Yes, though it’s not a rusted vessel of death.

    Also, the inflatable Titanic slide for kids:

  • 2. Pilgrim  |  December 16th, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    OWNED, farmer iggy XD

  • 3. geo8rge  |  December 17th, 2008 at 4:48 am

    Needs a blinking green LED inside to simulate the reactor.

    Some clever Roo-shan should sell’em on ebay.

  • 4. tim  |  December 18th, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    A Lusitania aquarium replica would have been this funny in the mid 1920s.

  • 5. RanDomino  |  February 21st, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    It’s like Ames is TRYING to get the FBI on his ass.

  • 6. Harv  |  February 22nd, 2009 at 3:50 am

    Most of you enlightened posters to have a gross misconception of the SSNP (Syrian Socialist Nationalist Party)in thinking that it’s some sort of Syrian Nazi gang of hoodlums and thugs. In light of this, it seems that you are all stupid pieces of dog shit who don’t know their asses from their brains.
    The SSNP is a Lebanese nationalist part with a pan-arabist/nasserist ideology – the Syrian reference in its name connotates its conformity with the pan arabist greater syria. It’s a common misconception but fuck you all anyway.

    As for Hitchens – don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time fatso…

  • 7. Mark  |  February 22nd, 2009 at 8:07 am

    Okay Alex, what about this Hitch quote from a very recent TV interview: He openly said he’s not a “conservative of any kind, except possibly a Neoconservative.” That’s pretty damn close to an outright admission.

  • 8. pakk  |  February 22nd, 2009 at 10:41 am

    haha, I don’t believe this story of poor stupid american workers and ‘predatory’ lenders.
    My impression is that all these would-be ‘homeowners’ new exactly they had no chance of repaying the loans from their legitimate income in the first place, but just like bank CEO’s gambled that real estate prices will be goin’ up foreva. In that case, they had a chance to bargain a good ‘consolidated’ loan later – or would just sell the property off profitably before the teaser rate period expires.

    Even average people are not stupid when it comes to cheating.)

  • 9. pakk  |  February 22nd, 2009 at 10:47 am

    Sorry for off-topic, the earlier comment should’ve gone to the ‘Marcy the Squatter Queen’ story. My mistake.

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