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The War Nerd

Waiting for Dubya and his Texas cronies to decide whether to hit Iraq is like waiting for Christ. It’s so goddamn slow, and you start kinda doubting it’s gonna happen at all. American tv reminds me of Sunday school teachers…

Posted on: July 25th, 2002 | Comments (4)

What’s a Chechen? It sounds like the start of a joke, but there’s no punchline. I’m supposed to write about the war in Chechnya this issue, but…the war itself is kind of interesting, but something’s missing. Maybe you don’t realize…

Posted on: June 28th, 2002 | Comments (7)

  I told you so. Told you nothing would happen with India and Pakistan. Told you the whole idea of “Hindu militants” was laughable. But Christian militants — that’s a whole ‘nuther thing. Christians are stone killers. You put a…

Posted on: June 26th, 2002 | Comments (6)

Will India and Pakistan ever finish the cat-fight and get on with a real war? “We live in hope,” like my grandma used to say — but don’t hold your breath. Listening to the Indian and Paki generals shaking their…

Posted on: May 29th, 2002 | Comments (7)

My first fan letter from the eXile was an email from some guy in Michigan who wanted the latest news on Tom Clancy. Yeah sure, that’s why I’m here — to help you kiss that rich fat coward’s ass. For…

Posted on: May 16th, 2002 | Comments (14)

Ever seen a Monster Truck show? They’re big in Fresno. The thrill is watching civilian cars get crushed by giant 4×4’s. But it’s nothing compared to the monster truck show the Israelis have put on in the last few weeks….

Posted on: May 1st, 2002 | Comments (3)

Ames asked me to write a column on how all the wars are going, kind of a war reviewer. And I said yes on one condition, that you people don’t send me emails telling me liking war is a sign…

Posted on: April 21st, 2002 | Leave Comment