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The Daily Inquisition / November 4, 2008

Today’s Defendant: Mike Williams, resident of Douglas, Arizona

Statement from the Grand Inquisitor: Hard-working people all across Mexico are busting their asses for American consumers. No, we are not talking about the migrant workers cleaning your dishes, picking your grapes or washing your cars. We’re talking about the indefatigable workers that are out there everyday, risking jail, death and torture to ensure the smooth delivery of the goods that make life bearable — yes, even briefly enjoyable — for millions of Americans just like you. And it’s not an easy job, folks. The War on Drugs and militarization of the border have been wreaking havoc on their supply lines. Not only do they have to fight the federales, US border patrol, American narc agents, the Minute Men and just about every god damn law enforcement agency and vigilante group this side of the Rio Grande, but they also have to fight each other. And as last week’s body count showed, ain’t pretty. Just last weekend, while Americans were busy gearing up for the elections, dozens upon dozens of Mexicans, a lot of them cops, were killed in a brutal, no holds barred competition for your business. And working through a military style prohibition is hard enough without having to deal with good samaritans like Mike Williams from the border town of Douglas, AZ.

Here’s him boasting to a local rag:

Here in Douglas, Arizona, you can’t get any closer to the Mexico border. This street is appropriately named International Avenue. And residents here are literally in the cross hairs of this international conflict.”If you go against them, your life is at stake.”

Douglas resident Mike Williams says he learned this the hard way.  He lives about 50 feet from the Mexico border.

On any given night, he says bags of marijuana or cocaine are tossed over the fence and into his yard.  And when he hands those bags over to the  United States Border Patrol, those delivering the drugs don’t take it lightly.

“One day they shot through my kitchen door,” Williams says.  “And then the same thing in my front room, the security door. I opened it up and stepped out and had three shots fired at me.”

What does a sinner like him expect? Instead of helping out and maybe taking a little cut for the transaction — you know, pinching a little power here and there or cutting out a few small buds for personal use — Mike Williams thinks he’s fighting the good fight, that he has Right, God and Law on his side. But things would be different if the Mexicans started throwing some high-octane moonshine into your yard, wouldn’t they? Getting a case of whiskey every now and again just for looking the other way wouldn’t be so bad, would it? This is not us against them, Mike. This is you against us.

The Mike Williamses of the world are not part of the solution, they are part of the problem. Their good samaritan deeds are not just hatefully Puritan, they are murder. Somewhere down the line, the Mike William butterfly effect will kill men, women, children and, yes, cops. Many cops.

Statement of Defense: Yes, it is true that Mike Williams is against freedom and is against pleasure. But should we not let Fate meet out justice, at least in this case? He and his type can only cheat it for so long. It is only a matter of time before Cosmic Justice finds its target and, to paraphrase of Colonel Kurtz, he is shot with a diamond … a diamond bullet right through the forehead. Maybe he will be crucified as an example to all?

Verdict: This is true. But let us pray that the deed is done quickly. We shall wait, but we shall not wait long.


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Add your own

  • 1. RioRico  |  November 20th, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    Intimidation in Douglas? Fine. Just stay out of Bisbee.

  • 2. mindy  |  May 12th, 2010 at 3:06 am

    I’ve got the same problem as you,

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