The agency got dressed down this year for misleading congress about shooting up a plane full of missionaries, which they mistook for a narco-plane. While we regret the loss of life to the other 10 narco-planes, it is an unfortunate price to pay to bring down one planeload of loathsome missionaries.

Today’s Defendant: The Canonization of Kathryn the Martyr

Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Today we have the joyous task of elevating the late Kathryn Johnston, of Altanta, Georgia, to sainthood. Saint Kathryn found glory in November 2006, at the age of 92. She was sitting quietly in her hovel when a squad of drug cops found marijuana in a small grove of trees near her building. Eager for a victim, they planted it on the first man who walked by and offered him a deal: play Judas and give them the name of a cocaine dealer and he would go free. The man pointed at the first apartment he saw, and by God’s Grace picked that of the martyr Kathryn.

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Page will be a bare naked lady in jail for sure.

There was some wonderful news last week: Steven Page, lovable lead singer of the Barenaked Ladies, was arrested for cocaine possession. If Barenaked Ladies, BNL to their fans, were a normal band, this would hardly be news at all. In fact, it might be good for ticket sales. But BNL is a Canadian band, the paid pipers of Anglo-Canada’s blandest, dullest, most aggressively mulched minds–so a simple drug bust is a disaster for them and their trusting, stupid fans.
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War & Drugs: flying while you’re dying

Hey, I’m back! For a few weeks there, the War Nerd was unhorsed, pulled over to the side watching life’s rich convoy zoom by. Thanks to the damn ungrateful Russian government, the old exile got shut down. I was particularly pissed because I’d just done my most Russia-friendly piece, a long respectful article about the Soviets’ big victory in Manchuria in 1945. I was proud of that article. (more…)