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movies / July 9, 2012

The Amazing Spiderman’s a hit, and I just saw it, and I can’t remember it.  Which is a GOOD thing, in its way.  That’s what loud CGI nonsense is FOR.

I mighta mentioned this fact already, that a lot of filmed entertainment is made to be forgotten. People have a hard time with that concept. But it’s an important working class entertainment function, a way to blank your worried mind and lift your depressed spirits; you go into a theater for a couple hours and come out again refreshed and able to carry on.  Many affluent types meditate to get this kind of relief, but if you’ve been raised working class, you feel embarrassed trying to meditate. Sitting there, I mean, trying strenuously not to do anything or think anything, when you actually have a lot to do and think about. It’s so much easier to achieve, that restful lack of action or thought, if something big and bright and loud and dumb is projected in front of you.

A memorable movie can actually interfere with that mind-blanking process, especially a thoughtful bummer type of film that’s going to pile on a whole new load of worrisome things. Lately critics are tirelessly recommending this independent film Beasts of the Southern Wild, about some poverty-stricken Louisiana Bayou kid and her father who have to ride out the catastrophes wrought by climate change. Supposed to be magical and life-affirming or something. But personally I hate those fucking hardship films, and I hate even more the ones smeared with “magical, life-affirming” lies.  Who the hell wants to see that? You want to see poor children ride out catastrophes, there are neighborhoods near you, guaranteed, in a permanent state of catastrophe, go watch that awhile and see how life-affirming it is.

Anyway, the new Spiderman film: if I make a major effort, I can recall that there’s a long thin dark-haired guy with tall hair playing Peter Parker this time around (Andrew Garfield), and Martin Sheen is Uncle Ben instead of now-deceased Cliff Robertson (who was better, if I remember—and I don’t remember). Emma Stone is the girlfriend, not the same girlfriend as in the Tobey McGuire Spiderman, another character altogether. Confusingly, this movie does the origin story over again about how Peter Parker gets his Spidey-powers, but it’s different this time. “Alternate reality” Spiderman, I guess you could call it, in which you see what happens if you change only a few details: make the toaster red this time, and Uncle Ben dies differently, that sorta thing.

You can see how it could go on into infinity, this new, accelerated system of remakes. Spiderman can be remade at least once a year, like the Japanese epic The Forty-seven Ronin, and everyone’s on board with this important cultural touchstone and comes to watch the thing over and over and over.

Though Spiderman isn’t what I would’ve chosen, I admit. I like Spiderman and all—used to watch the old, cheerful cartoon reruns on TV as a kid, back in 10,000 B.C.—but I’d definitely have preferred to see some other, meatier America story get the obsessive-remake treatment. The coolest American remake-generator is probably Dashiell Hammett’s novel Red Harvest, which got adapted by Americana-loving Japanese director-genius Akira Kurosawa as Yojmbo, then remade by Sergio Leone as the seminal spaghetti Western A Fistful of Dollars, then combined with another Dashiell Hammett novel, The Glass Key, for the Coen brothers’ masterpiece Miller’s Crossing.

That’d be a million times more exciting, if we all just kept on remaking Red Harvest every year.

But it looks like we’re stuck with Marvel Comics as our main source of pop culture mythology.

The 3-D CGI effects look good in the new Spiderman, lots of state-of-the-art swooping out into the audience, and intense spatial perspectives careening from great heights to great depths. I saw the movie with an enthusiastic matinee crowd—I’ve resigned myself to attending kiddie matinees, basically, now that I know I’ll be watching superhero movies for the rest of my life, because the kids help goose up the experience. One boy found it all so thrilling he cursed freely throughout the movie (“Sheee-ittt!!”) while his father, an immense man-mountain of flesh shoveling buckets of popcorn into his maw, kept up his own more jaded running commentary while chewing. (When Spiderman catches a fly in mid-air, thus demonstrating his incredible Spidey-skills, the man-mountain rumbled, “Shit, I could do that.”)

Emma Stone, I vaguely recall, is very blonde in The Amazing Spiderman, and her voice seems higher, and in general she’s a lighter, less impressive creature altogether than she’s been in other films. I had high hopes for her after seeing Zombieland, in which she was a husky-voiced redhead, more arresting than the general run of dull starlets, a nice throwback to the tougher American women of 1940s film noir. I blame director Marc Webb (500 Days of Summer) for this blanding-out process. Emma Stone’s blonde boringness seems meant to be all-of-a-piece with the amnesiac quality of this Spiderman remake.

The only big “sticking” parts of the movie, the ones that don’t glide by and evaporate instantly, are:

  • the moments of embarrassing acting oversell (Rhys Ifans knocks himself out trying to make the villain, Dr. Connors aka Lizard Guy, lugubriously tragic, and Denis Leary is completely out of his depth in his dramatic scenes as the chief of police, and can only grimace his way through straight lines like “I want Spiderman off the streets”);
  • the points of total plot confusion, when you find yourself having to concentrate, however reluctantly, over some damn script thing that doesn’t make any sense;
  • and the heavy-duty moralizing that’s such a tiresome part of the Marvel universe. That’s the worst part. No sooner does Peter Parker get superpowers than everyone has to start agonizing over them, as if power of any kind is already half-bad before its even been wielded. There’s a perfectly idiotic scene early on when spider-fied Parker humiliates the school bully who’s been tormenting him and all the other dweebs, and afterwards Uncle Ben demands to know whether his nephew is proud of himself. The correct answer to this is, “Yes,” but the movie wants to make it “No.” We’re in a world of deep moral confusion when embarrassing a bully on the basketball court and thus defusing him for all time is a shameful abuse of power. And wait’ll you get a load of how Peter Parker is made responsible for his Uncle Ben’s death! The most ludicrous daytime soap opera would’ve come up with something less contrived!

I can’t begin to recommend, anymore, that people should see these superhero movies or not. Young’uns go anyway, for the roller-coaster ups and downs. And I’ve already discussed the benefits for the working-class. But if you’re an adult not already invested in the Marvel universe, after you’ve seen a few film adaptation, they’re not really very interesting per se. The bulk of the American film industry’s resources go into these kind of movies, so if you like to see the state-of-the-art effects that Hollywood can generate, you go.  And if the dumb blather Hollywood sells as mass-morality fascinates you in a horrible sort of way, that’ll lure you in, too.

I guess a lot of people rolled over long ago and accepted comic book superheroes as their personal saviors, or a movie like The Amazing Spiderman couldn’t make $140 million in a week when it’s a remake of a Spiderman movie that came out only ten years earlier, and there were sequels in between.  So let’s say it’s between you and your gods whether you show up for services regularly or not.

56 Comments

Add your own

  • 1. Mr. A  |  July 9th, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    Dashiell Hammet’s Red Harvest via Yojimbo and For A Fistful of Dollars also spanned a real crappy movie, Last Man Standing, starring Bruce Willis and set in a small American town during Prohibition.

    Andrew Vachss, with Two Trains Running, wrote a multitextured remake with added historical depth.

  • 2. Anarchy Pony  |  July 9th, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    So defeating the bully is a bad thing now? What fucking universe did I wake up in today?!

  • 3. The Dark Avenger  |  July 9th, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    “Amen and out. Amen and out, I say.”

  • 4. bulfinch  |  July 9th, 2012 at 6:52 pm

    Does seem odd having this film so close on the heels of the other ones. Ah well, I guess I can give the mumbleyty peg a rest for one night to go and check it out.

    (trivia: Man-Mountain Marko was an early nemesis of Spider-man.)

  • 5. bulfinch  |  July 9th, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    (…mumblety peg (dammit!))

  • 6. mars spirit rover  |  July 9th, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    What made this do-over completely plausible was the remake of the Hulk five years after the Ang Lee Hulk. Talk about amnesia. What was I saying?

  • 7. radii  |  July 9th, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    retro was a big thing for a while there … I was convinced we’d have retro 90s before they were even over (like Club ’92 or something) – instead we get today’s “reboots” of “film franchises” before the last one is even cold and lesser versions all the way down the media food chain such as TV shows Mutant X and now Alphas as X-Men ripoffs … Spiderman was an okay comic book, but the cartoon was cool because it has this strange sense of remove and spaciness, it was the Miles Davis of cartoons – the people who made it must have all been high … watch Darkman again if you want to see what a “superhero” movie should be (and Sam Raimi at his best) or watch Jeepers Creepers (I and II) if you’re going to watch the same thing over and over (nothing like hot teens getting abused by a really cool monster)

  • 8. rick  |  July 9th, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    Eileen is fun to read on film.

    Even the obvious “religiosity” factor is markedly too intellectually sophisticated for the 500 quasi-eunuch quasi-imbeciles writing mainstream reviews.

  • 9. pragmatic_leftie  |  July 9th, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    @2 — Yeah, it’s weird how the whole anti-bullying movement has actually been really empowering for schoolyard bullies.

    Basically, they’re* now teaching the kids inclined to follow rules that:

    1) Self-defense is not a human right
    2) Think about the BULLY’s feelings!!

    And so the good kids lose whatever resources they had to fight bullies, and the bullies laugh off the rules and act with greater impunity than ever. It’s mind boggling, and a little scary that this stuff is bleeding into the popular culture.

    Reminds me of Gandhi’s advice on how to deal with Hitler: “Just let him take over your country and kill everyone he wants! Don’t lower yourself to his level!”

    *(“They” being state-run schools in the U.S. and U.K. — and probably a fair chunk of the private schools as well, TBF)

  • 10. C.A.W.  |  July 10th, 2012 at 1:01 am

    @7radii – I’m sure director and convicted child rapist Victor Salva would agree with you about his films Jeepers Creepers I and II that there’s “nothing like hot teens getting abused by a really cool monster”.

    http://www.vachss.com/mission/disney.html

  • 11. Jimbob  |  July 10th, 2012 at 3:49 am

    If embarrassing the bully is wrong I don’t wanna be right.

  • 12. El Hombre Malo  |  July 10th, 2012 at 4:48 am

    Superheros, once you are an adult, can only retain the interest they had when you were a kid if they carry a simple, clear message you can’t really translate into a realistic setting. I did’nt specially like Spiderman as a kid, prefering more violent spandex clad heroes. As an adult though, I came to appreciate the ethical luggage of Spiderman’s origin. He is not driven by vengeance like Batman, he is not part of a distinct caste like the Xmen nor is he a moster or an alien like Hulk or Superman. He does’nt extract any benefit for what he does, much to the contrary it allways costs him dearly to keep on heroing. And when it does’nt the book sales suffer, because it’s a less interesting Spiderman to follow. It’s not sadism that drive these sale variations, it’s the intrinsic value of a good exemplary tale.

    With all it’s flaws, Raimi’s movies captured that. Webb’s does’nt. The character in amazing is driven by angst, then vengeance, then by an ill placed sense of responsability… when all that a spiderman story needs to work is pure, simple, borderline socialist civism.

    A pity, because the movie is clever and nicely done in all the hard ways, Garfield and Stone can act and Webb is obviously a capable director. Yet the movie fails for the simplest of reasons.

  • 13. Adam  |  July 10th, 2012 at 6:33 am

    Just finished up Red Harvest a few weeks ago and now half way through The Glass Key. I have to say I got goosebumps when both were mentioned in this write-up. I also have to say that both books have characters and plot lines that are just too damn cynical and ugly for Americans to handle. However much I’d love to see a direct translation of Red Harvest to the big screen, the familiarity between Elihu Wilson, the “Czar of Poisonville”, and -media magnate’s name here- is too close.

    Red Harvest is a road map for anyone looking to get back at the bullies, but apparently that’s wrong wrong wrong!

  • 14. Trevor  |  July 10th, 2012 at 6:48 am

    Why the hell are Americans so enamored with kid stuff? Another comic-book movie, another syrupy Pixar movie before that – it’s like there’s some mass compulsion to infantalization. Like everyone’s too scared stupid to deal with reality anymore.

  • 15. DrunktankDan  |  July 10th, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    Jones sure has been dropping the Kids-As-Companions theme a bit lately.

  • 16. yandat  |  July 10th, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    14 – they keep you doped with religion and sex and TeeVee.

    Life is hard/alienating/shitty and most Americans are drowning in some corporatist fucked system.

    people often misread the Marx quote about religion being the opiate of the people as if Marx is saying it’s some poison drug. the rest of the passage makes it clear he means it soothes the pain of grappling with the reality of everyday existence. it’s hard not to have sympathy for it. even though, like Catholicism, it’s merely made up by a few cynical shitheads during a focus group – people really do have personal meaningful relationships with entertainment and it helps them get through the day.

    and that’s why people at my office won’t shut up about what’s on TeeVee

    hope that answers your question, friend.

  • 17. zhubajie  |  July 10th, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    “Why the hell are Americans so enamored with kid stuff?” — Ryan

    Because most Americans are over-grown 5 year olds.

  • 18. Oelsen  |  July 10th, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    Trevor: Commercial reasons. It is not about the reality. If they wouldn’t produce it, the time would be filled with some other mind numbing stuff. Todays parents apparently do not have the time or desire to be on their own. So they share much time with their kids and to get a share of that time (time is money…), the studios produce stuff that can be watched by everybody. Just like middle eastern soap operas have shootouts, kidnappings, violent scenes and some culturally accepted intimacy. The whole family can watch this and can be filled up with adverts! Yay!

  • 19. John Drinkwater  |  July 10th, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    Salon’s Andrew O’Heir’s review focused mainly on how Andrew Garfield (Peter Parker) pulled off a neat Holden Caufield routine throughout the flick. Yet E Jones has absolutely no comment on this aspect? Okay, I admit, I think Catcher in the Rye is a great book, so I was almost persuaded to pay $12 to see this movie. Now I think I’ll wait for the rental.

  • 20. Dhomochevky  |  July 10th, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    @10

    well like 16 and 17, not like fucking 12 or whatever

  • 21. Barf  |  July 10th, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    Who in the fuck thought the director of 500 Days of Summer (and nothing else) would be perfect for a super hero action movie? This is the worst miscast director for a kiddie action since they got M. Knight for The Last Airbender.

  • 22. DrunktankDan  |  July 10th, 2012 at 11:34 pm

    Either my shit got edited or i didn’t finish typing. Apologies if I offended or hit too close to home or something. I got nothin but respect for Eileen’s reviews. She’s the only critic I trust apart from Walter Chaw, and even then I read him for laughs more than anything else. Anyways, I was only joking, didn’t mean it personally or anything.
    I get paid a week from Wed. so i can finally throw some money at SHAME by means of atonement.

  • 23. Galtic Warrior  |  July 10th, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    Mark Ames, once again you fail to see the neigh omnipotent power that the mind control Hollywood has over the United stasi of America.

    Movie’s like this are only produced to distract sheep from the Illuminati enforcing things like global warming legislation.

    You can see them laughing at you IF YOU LOOK close enough:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPOCIlvAsP8

    I can almost see the Rothschilds behind that laugh.

  • 24. McComber  |  July 11th, 2012 at 12:49 am

    I forgot that I haven’t seen it! Guess that saves me 12€.

  • 25. CensusLouie  |  July 11th, 2012 at 10:13 am

    Even the original Spider Man story was silly with the idea that Peter could only do good at his own expense.

    Really? He couldn’t use his powers to be a professional athlete or anything else to quickly and easily score enough cash that Aunt May would never have to worry about money again? While still leaving plenty of free time for crime fighting? How would that be any less noble than selling pictures of yourself to a newspaper? And why must he sell said pictures to an underpaying newspaper that slanders him? Is there only one paper in New York City?

    silly

  • 26. Pork Sausage  |  July 11th, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    Since this review was published, I’ve been trying to think of a way to comment on Eileen’s offhand reference to meditation as ‘more or less the same thing as watching Spiderman 4 but harder/more uncomfortable’ without sounding preachy or self-righteous. I’ll just say that the reason working-class America is willing to pay $10.50 to sit through 2 hours of forgettable CGI nonsense is the same reason we mostly cant find 20 minutes in our day to sit still and be present – we fucking hate self-reflection and will pay out the ass for a product that guarantees it’s absence for the duration of the film. AEC: A+ for effort.

  • 27. Flatulissimo  |  July 11th, 2012 at 9:42 pm

    Jones, I love your writing, but this movie wasn’t even worthy of your time.

    I know choices are bleak right now, but looking at the current top 10 shitty movies, I think even the talking teddy bear movie by the dude from Family Guy probably would have been a marginally better choice for a review. At least it wasn’t a reboot of a 50 year-old character that was just in a movie a few years ago.

  • 28. Mitchell  |  July 12th, 2012 at 12:26 am

    “A child psychologist recently sounded off to the effect that children like bionic men and women because fantasies of magic are consoling to their sense of weakness, lack of control of their destiny, etc. If adults are supposed to not need consolations of this kind because they feel their size and strength is quite sufficient, they must just be less realistic than children. Or, more probably, they have acquired that different form of consolation which consists of belittling one another.” – Celia Green

  • 29. noen  |  July 13th, 2012 at 1:15 am

    Uncle Ben demands to know whether his nephew is proud of himself. The correct answer to this is, “Yes,” but the movie wants to make it “No.”

    Actually the correct answer is no.

  • 30. javert  |  July 13th, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    Having just watched the movie, I can conclude one thing:

    Webb watched Batman Begins way too many times.

    He tries so hard to make Spiderman look like Batman it’s not funny: the beginning part where Peter is playing hide and seek, most sequences happening at knight, the good guy misunderstood by the police part…

    but the worst part is the the call for magnificence and grandiose every 5 minutes celebrating how much Spiderman is a glorious, self-sacrificing hero.

    I miss the 90s times where superheroes where a cartoon thing but a well made one, not taking you like an idiot like the current movies. Seriously, watch the 90s cartoon opening of the Amazing Spiderman and you will find what Spiderman should be about.

    I never thought I would propose a ban on making movies based on DC and Marvel comics, but please someone do it. 99 % of the time it has been a Joel Schumacher take on comics instead of Christopher Nolan one. If they are going to do a zero plot, complete CGI driven movies, at least they won’t sully our memories about comic books.

  • 31. Sir Hendersson  |  July 14th, 2012 at 5:31 am

    @9
    The problem with underestimate the bald fakir is that it makes the Empire look weak when you look at all the trouble he caused. Unfortunatley he could not just stand aside and be beaten on his own, he had to organise his fellow tribesmen into doing the same, while shunning their better. It is not only devastating on morale of the men, as the tribesmen refused to take parts in the economic operations that made the Empire profitable it caused us severe problems.

    Since historical illetarcy runs rampant these days, imagine if you like a schoolyard where this Spiderman fellow organises the pupils to meet the bully by collective shunning. That would set a terrible example don’t you think? After all when these children grow up they might think that colletive action is somehow acceptable.

    However, I am pleased to see from your report that the indoctrination corps of the US keeps up their high standards by presenting kids with no options other then to trust established authority. That bodes well for the future.

  • 32. The nr 1 banana  |  July 15th, 2012 at 3:22 am

    Eileen Jones can you please stop being so critical of every movie you see. A movie is for entertainment it doesn’t need some meaningful message or view of society. Just watch the movie and see the nice colors and appreciate the music, mmkay?

  • 33. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 7:58 am

    Everytime I read (or pretend to read) a new movie review on this website, I feel the urge to try to download some awesome Stranglers vinyl rip, but then it takes too long and I change my mind.

    Sorry fellas!!!

    Not this time. I don’t want that awesome shit from my shitty past in my brain.

    OK I said it.

    Happy now????

    Leave me the hell alone!!!

    The Stranglers – Grip

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xT7bzIoAP4

    Now that I did that I feel much worse.

  • 34. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 8:03 am

    Something a bit better (in my opinion)

    The Stranglers – Threatened

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLCNj_-DDSQ

  • 35. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 8:32 am

    I’m Sorry, delete that last comment, I would feel much more secure and less foolish. Be a good sport.

    This is the superior youtube version of THREATENED…

    The Stranglers – Threatened

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVeZ6WKYJP8

  • 36. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 8:40 am

    The Stranglers – Midnight Summer Dream

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00DFmi3x7tk

  • 37. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 9:08 am

    The Stranglers – Hot Club

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F-5-leK1HM

    The Stranglers – No Mercy (rare rejected 12 inch mix)

  • 38. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 9:15 am

    Link to complete the last comment (I don’t know what went wrong)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzbiIjLG4RY

    (the stranglers – No Mercy)

  • 39. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 9:25 am

    Mrs. Columbo thinks I should do the wrong thing and continue with the Stranglers thing, I only agreed if it would be this one….

    The Stranglers – Toiler On The Sea

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flUxmdlhiHY

  • 40. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 9:32 am

    The Stranglers – Curfew

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuG9tlRfTz8

  • 41. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 9:33 am

    Fuck the New World.

    We’ve got our own problems here on the continent.

  • 42. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Is that what they say????

    “the continent”???, is that proper???

  • 43. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 9:48 am

    The Stranglers – Threatened

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVeZ6WKYJP8

    (better nothing than none of the preceding comments)

  • 44. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 9:55 am

    Oui, C’est La Folie by The Stranglers

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNB5FMQqpwQ

  • 45. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 11:30 am

    …and I am left to suppose my Stranglers movie doesn’t interest you… and I did expend so much of my deep emotional feelings on it.

    The Exiled is so predictable at times.

    Can’t ruin this dry sherry.

  • 46. The Gubbler  |  July 15th, 2012 at 11:58 am

    Well, go ahead… bust me up.

    I’m ready for it.

    Do you realize darling, that I had to click four times just to access this page???

    Let me have it exalted whatever your name is.

    I surely deserve whatever you have in store for me.

  • 47. Mig  |  July 16th, 2012 at 4:53 am

    From Alan Moore

    KA: The reality is that there’s just too much money riding on the whole thing. That’s what is all comes down to. It’s the creators getting the check to play with the toys, it’s the companies that get to cash the checks for the licensing, and so on.

    AM: Absolutely. It is nothing but commerce. I mean, these characters were created for the ten year old of the 1940s. The only possible reason why they should still appeal to the 40-and-50-year-olds of the early 21st century is nostalgia in its original sense–an illness. It kind of smacks of arrested development. It smacks of people who are unable to leave these icons that connect them to their childhood behind. And, you also suspect that it’s the vicarious courage that is at the root of a lot of it. Battles or struggles that they do not have the courage to confront in their own lives can be neatly channeled into these fictional characters, who always stand up against injustice and who always support the underdog. They always rail against tyrants. But, don’t do that in the real world because that’s just a superhero comic!

    If you do that in the real world then the company might not like it.

    http://www.seraphemera.org/seraphemera_books/AlanMoore_Page7.html

    A good read in general.

  • 48. Rich  |  July 16th, 2012 at 7:54 am

    Go see ‘Moonrise Kingdom’ Eileen. I all but gave up on Wes Anderson’s unbearably twee output, and was prepared to walk out if it started shaping up like the ‘Royal Tennenbaums’, but I enjoyed it despite not having high hopes. Better movie than I’ve seen in a long while.

  • 49. God  |  July 16th, 2012 at 11:32 am

    @25, re: “And why must he sell said pictures to an underpaying newspaper that slanders him?”

    The newspaper doesn’t slander him. Slander is spoken. In print, it’s libel.

  • 50. Slacker  |  July 17th, 2012 at 7:58 am

    Used to like Emma Stone for ironic, witty, funny, whiskey voiced sexy. In the same sort of indy film lady group as Ellen Page, Emily Blunt, Parker Posey. Weird casting Emma as the blonde action movie girl but hey it’s big money.

  • 51. Leek  |  July 18th, 2012 at 1:07 am

    @29

    So the correct answer was that Spidey should have just bent over for Flash Thompson and popped open a jar of vasoline? That it was his “responsibility” to take it like a bitch? You ever read Going Postal?

    Even the comics don’t go that far. Pretty much anytime Peter lets Flash make him his bitchboy he’s doing it because he’s paranoid that if he shows off his skills people will think he’s Spiderman.

    Honestly, not even (insert-name-of-black-basketball-god) could have moved on the court the way Spidey did. Still, it’s a movie, you give em some creative licenses.

    Anyway, it’s good Spidey got some vengeance on Flash, but he should have restrained his abilities a little bit more when he did.

  • 52. Punjabi From Karachi  |  July 18th, 2012 at 7:15 am

    Eileen, you have to see Moonrise Kingdom. It’s the Wes Anderson crew trying to work a shot at redemption, and they’ve toned back the weird detail-oriented fluff that alienated people.

    Someone said about their last movie was about towels and suitcases. They’ve stepped back from that material possession based symbolism mumbo jumbo to focus on the characters, and I have to say Moonrise Kingdom had my attention throughout.

    I didn’t give up on it halfway through, like i did with their last two movies.

    And Spiderman was nice.

  • 53. Flatulissimo  |  July 19th, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    Jones, how about taking down “Beasts of the Southern Wild”?

  • 54. CensusLouie  |  July 25th, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    @49

    Thank you, pedantic shit head.

  • 55. Smudge  |  July 25th, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    @54 I take it you didn’t see the first Spider-Man movie…

  • 56. mijj  |  January 15th, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    the most ridiculous thing about the superhero flicks is they always start out with a completely unnecessary, dreary, long, drawn out “origin” story.

    The sensible thing to do would be to save the “origin” as a bit of spice for the second or third in the series .. ie. add a twist of interest when it all gets rote and boring.


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