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What You Should Hate / February 9, 2010
By Mark Ames

plasma dude1

If you read my story about how Cerberus Capital–the vampiric Republican-dominated private equity fund–made a killing pumping human plasma from lower-class human feeding cows, and you’re wondering what the plasma-pumping process actually looks like, here’s a lovely self-made video posted on Live Link. Thank god for Live Link!–at least, that’s the message our human donor cow wants to relate to the rest of the world, through his little cellphone cam. [HT: eXhole Jack Reynolds]

Mark Ames is the author of Going Postal: Rage, Murder and Rebellion from Reagan’s Workplaces to Clinton’s Columbine.

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  • 1. 16 Shells from a 30.06  |  February 9th, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    Seeing that plasma machine in the video brings back memories of last century, working the Plasma Alliance hustle in Minneapolis. My wife would have to put rocks in her pocket to make the minimum weight requirement. I’d get $20, she’d get $15. Good times, good times.

    Those places hemorrhage cash.

    We even called it “the vampires”.

    I’m old enough to remember the real olden days, when the bags of blood were taken away, spun in a manually operated centrifuge (located in the back room) to harvest the plasma, and then the cells were returned to the donor in a bag that plugged into an I.V. rig.

    Barbaric, eh?

    Don’t worry, they always double checked…

  • 2. captain america  |  February 9th, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    i used to do this all the time when i was in college. it was $20 back then too, which was a lot more in 1990s money.

  • 3. n  |  February 10th, 2010 at 6:03 am

    IM GONNA BE SICK!!!!!!!!

  • 4. joe  |  February 10th, 2010 at 6:52 am

    Wow, that was straight out of Idiocracy. Makes me wanna start hating poor people. Then I realize there is a more obnoxious type of stupid. A bougie stupid where someone tries to pretend they are smart. In his defense he was probably suffering from hypoxia

  • 5. geo8rge  |  February 10th, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    Damn I was giving it up for free at the red cross. I was suprised they were so eager to go to workplaces to pick it up free. And why they kept calling me for more after that.

    What to they pay for bone marrow?

  • 6. nampa1  |  February 11th, 2010 at 10:17 am

    Is this safe? What about the needles, the machine that cycles the blood, or the trauma of plasma back in the body? How do they clean these things?

  • 7. Jack Reynolds  |  February 11th, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    My brother donated plasma in college. There was a pyramid scheme aspect to it where he’d get paid more if he got a certain number of people to regularly donate their plasma as well.

  • 8. alex snow  |  February 11th, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Its Ronald Reagan “Trickle Down Economics”.

  • 9. homer  |  February 12th, 2010 at 10:09 pm


  • 10. Jason  |  February 14th, 2010 at 11:06 am

    We called this the stab lab. I used to see whinos get their check then go right to the titty bar next door or the convenient store for the straight 40 malt.

    I doubt the $20 comes anywhere close to the embodied energy lost by parting with the plasma.

  • 11. mnuez  |  February 18th, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    Y’know, a man can’t go around caring about EVERYBODY n’ all so I think I’m going to stick to caring about people like me.

    If this cow can be kept happy and plasma-producing for $20 then alrighty then, leave him be. Let’s harvest the motherfucker’s organs.

    What SUCKS though is when people like myself – smart, knowledgeable and pasionate folk with a large repetoire of thoughts and interests – have to suffer through the indignity of being cows.

    I think it’s time for a little bit of imperialism. Send the dumb over to a farm where they can labor for our happiness (but make sure to rescue any of their kids that happen to be genetic abnormalities such that the resemble us) and then impose a socialist economy on all of us Alphas and Betas (I mean the Huxlian terms, not Roissian) so that we can all be happy according to our individual desires.

    Or something like that.

  • 12. ray  |  February 19th, 2010 at 7:48 am

    I’m not sure that I see much of a problem, so long as safety concerns are addressed. The world needs plasma, and until a good synthetic substitute is found this is how you get it. Donors will make more plasma: it isn’t the same as taking his liver.

  • 13. benny  |  March 20th, 2015 at 4:58 am

    what a wanker

  • 14. boob  |  March 20th, 2015 at 4:59 am

    i need to go get laid

  • 15. boen  |  March 20th, 2015 at 5:02 am

    get laid

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