Issue #28/83, February 10 - 17, 2000

Will you "do it tonight"?	Will you walk out alive?	Will cheap-O eXile readers afford the beer?	Will you show up to an empty, haunted mausoleum?
= no you won't = you might, maybe = you WILL indeed	= probably = just don't bump into anyone = run like hell	= $2-3 per beer = $4-$5 per beer = $6-$60,000	This isn't a rating factor, folks. Every club, bar, politican, and yes, newspaper, is on the verge of collapse. When you see this by a bar, it means, "financial crisis victim." Vsyo.

Bi Ba Bo

Cheers:More quiet, less overcrowded, and better location than the competition. Shoes to fit all sizes, state of the art bowling lanes and the whole range of balls to suit all. Good service.
Jeers:Fewer lanes than others, so if a crowd comes, you could be outta luck.
M:Smolensky
Phone: 232-9431
Address: Karmanidsky Per. 9 (next to Lobster Pot inside the courtyard area at the Smolensky Metro exit, behind Micky-D's)
Hours: 12.00 - 5.00

Champion

Cheers:Oh my, folks! This is it, the multi-entertainment complex that Moscow--indeed, the Warsaw Pact--has been jonesing for all along. It was for this that Russians threw off the shackles of 80 years of communism. You've got 20 bowling lanes, scads of pool and billiards tables, full-on laser tag, techno wall-climbing, quality air hockey, discotheque, several bars, karaoke, all the latest vids... and yes, the kitchen sink. Bobby of Moosehead and Club XIII fame is the man behind the joy, so you just know it's pretty frickin good. Good prices on drinks and food.
Jeers:Located way the heck out in an ugly factory building. You'll be shocked to see how nice they've fixed it up inside. 600 rubles for weekend bowling is standard, but still a bit pricey by our eXhole thinking. see Stuart Pratt's unreadable review
Cover:Free
M:Voikovskaya
Phone: 747-5000
Address: Leningradsky Shosse 16
Hours: 1s.00 - 06.00 daily

Cosmik Bowling

Cheers:Moscow's top bowling alley. Offers 16 bowling lanes, the most in Moscow; plays decent techno in the black-light Cosmik section; cheap-O drinks pleasing.
Jeers:Locals are not only shitty bowlers who drop the ball like it's a boulder and drain it, they have a habit of repeatedly violating your lane; you might have to wait for a lane; the only way to make reservations is to pay $300 for a club membership. see Stuart Pratt's beard-twirling review
Cover:600R per hour peak hours
M:Park Kultury
Phone: 246-3666
Address: Ul. L'va Tolstogo 18
Hours: 12.00 - 5.00

Dinamo Bowling Club

Cheers:Moscow's first semi-authentic bowling lane. Real-live imported bowling lanes, billiards and fooseball make this a fun place to take your date, family, or business for a pow-wow; cheap-O drinks, food and billiards; lots of nerdy bowling shoes for all sizes; friendly staff.
Jeers:Too inconvenient to reach for those with no wheels or no money to rent wheels; lame disco area way out of place; they invented "Cosmik" or techno-bowling here. see Stuart Pratt's beard-twirling review
Cover:free entrance, pay to play (depends on when)
M:Park Kultury
Address: Ul. L'va Tolstogo 18
Hours: 12.00 - 5.00

Tsentr

Cheers:Massive entertainment mall complex really does pull in the teenie boppers. Afternoon rollerblading, scads of vids, blinking lights, Cosmik bowling... there's something for everyone. Your underaged girlfriend will undoubtedly cry out, "Wow, klass!" Main redeeming quality is the occasional pod of nesovershennoletniye dyevs giggling. Lots of space, good bars.
Jeers:Grotesquely large layout. Which is to say, impractically gauche, boring, failing, painful. Nearly every male's head has been sanded perfectly flat before entering. The very worst in cheesy pop bands may give you an ulcer, or worse.
Cover:Yes
M:Tulskaya
Address: Kholodilny Per., Dom 3
Hours: 21.00 - 06.00

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