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MSNBC: Mark Ames and Yasha Levine
Broke the Koch Brothers' Takeover of America
Gloats / Santelli Watch / Tea Party / March 5, 2009
By Mark Ames and Yasha Levine

Thanks to the slam dunk investigative piece by your humble correspondents, Rick Santelli was forced to cancel his appearance on the Daily Show last night, leading to this massively-blogged segment ripping Santelli and CNBC a gigantic bleeding asshole. If words could be giant foam hands with pointing index fingers, then these words would be jabbing annoyingly into the ears of every Michelle Malkin/Freedomworks/rightwing tool who tried to cover up their half-baked “grassroots tea party” flop. As the stadiums of foam index finger-waggers chant, “You! You! You!” As in “the whole fucking country is laughing at you idiots!” Ah-ha-ha-hahahahahahaha!!!

So, who else wants some? Huh? You? You want a little?

All of America is laughing at “tea party” mascot Rick Santelli and the sloppy Freedomworks-led rightwing machine that tried to push his protest movement. Do you hear that? Huh, Megan McArdle? Watch this video and weep, every time the audience laughs, multiply it by 300 million laughing Americans, and that’s what’s going on: they’re laughing at you! You tried to shill for the super-wealthy, but you’re all a bunch of fuckin’ amateurs.

Still, thanks for the memories. And for the material. You all played your role of evil corporate-preppy goons like perfect foils, as perfectly as Dean Wormer and Niedermayer to our Belushi. And seriously, you know, there’s a place in the order of things for slapstick goons like you–for, without you, how would the rest of us laugh? As Robert Plant wistfully sang, “Does anybody remember laughter?” And he meant it. So to you rightwing goon amateurs, we say this: Just as there is a place on God’s planet for the guinea worm or the  hydatid cyst, there is a place for you slapstick goons too. After all, laughter is a beautiful thing. When we’re doing the laughing, that is. Guess it’s not so funny when you’re laughed at. Ah well, sucks for you.

Further reading:

1.  “Slick Rick” Santelli Is A Bailout Queen

2.  CNBC Bitch-Slaps Santelli Into Line, FreedomWorks Admits It Organized “Grassroots” Tea Parties, Jon Stewart Cancels Santelli & Megan McArdle Queefs On Our Founding Fathers

3. Exposing The Rightwing PR Machine: Is CNBC’s Rick Santelli Sucking Koch?

Mark Ames is the author of Going Postal: Rage, Murder and Rebellion from Reagan’s Workplaces to Clinton’s Columbine.


Add your own

  • 1. Not the whole story  |  March 5th, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    It was a great segment but John didn’t even refer to FreedomWorks or the astroturfing. He just made it seem like Santelli did it of his own accord.

  • 2. thomzas  |  March 5th, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    I was so proud of Exiled when I saw that on the Daily Show. Who’s the loser now, Santelli?

  • 3. cudmaster  |  March 5th, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    I don’t know what it is about immature left-wing idiots being all pissed off and angry that makes me laugh so much, but if this sort of hate filled diatribe is the kind of thing generally found on this site, I’m going to be a regular.

    Honestly John was ripping one everyone at CNBC except Santelli (aside for him simply not showing up, which I agree was bad form), I don’t watch CNBC, given the clips Stewart showed, I’d tend to agree with him, that they are pretty much a failure as a business network, but generally speaking, NO MEDIA I have seen was on top of the economic crash.

    I wont defend Santelli, I have no idea who the hell he is, other than a guy that made a comment that went viral on the internet, and ended up getting a whole bunch of average Americans out on a Friday protesting the fraudulent waste of our treasure that is the Obama (wait he didn’t even write it did he) Stimulus plan. Those Americans were pissed pre-Santelli and we are still pissed post-Santelli, you lot can continue to demonize us if you like, but I think eventually you will be one of us as you see more and more what the “utopia” I assume you “thought” you were voting for looks like.

    That isn’t that we love the GOP or McCain, it is just…. aw hell who am I fooling here? Okay, fine, so I know who Santelli is and i’m part of the whole Freedomworks nexus. You got me, okay? So, you want to dance on my grave? Laugh at me? Go ahead. Thing is, I need a job. These are tough times. Sure, Bush and the Freedomworks machine are responsible for fucking everything up, and this Santelli tea party thing is the most amateurish astroturf campaign imaginable, but like I said–I need a job. Freedomworks pays. They even pay the guys who pay me to troll around commenting on sites. I’m the guy who still pretends I’m neither left nor right, that i don’t know who Santelli is, that it’s all grassroots, bla bla bla. Okay, so there’s that.

    Now, to continue the script I was given. Read it if you want to, but just know, I was paid to say it:

    Hopefully in the coming years the constitutionalist, libertarian, green, natural law and objectivist parties will take over the field, and the crooks of the past will be banished, though I’m sure given time and power these parties themselves will become as corrupt as what we have to put up with now, that is simply the way of human nature, particularly with a media which is not vigilant and in many cases are as corrupt as the politicians they support or deride.

  • 4. wengler  |  March 5th, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    It would have been much more enjoyable to see Santelli get a new asshole ripped in person, but a ten minute beatdown of CNBC was a nice substitute.

  • 5. Delfosse  |  March 5th, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    The video can’t be streamed outside of US. Can anybody say what’s in there?

  • 6. homer  |  March 5th, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    @ Delfosse

    It’s on youtube and google video, too.

  • 7. coldequation  |  March 5th, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    This clip really has nothing to do with The Exile or astroturfing. It’s about CNBC, which exists to tell the proverbial fool to do stupid things that part them with their money.

    The real losers in a foreclosure are usually the banks, not the homeowners. Most bubble buyers didn’t make down payments anyway, and they’re underwater, so it’s really not much different than leaving a rented house, except that your credit score takes a hit. That’s why so many people are choosing to walk away, even if they can afford their mortgages. There are exceptions (like this guy, who got REALLY REALLY bad advice from CNBC – this makes them look far worse than the Daily Show clips: ), but that’s the situation for the typical person who bought during the bubble.

    Therefore, the biggest beneficiary of this scheme are the banks, who are getting paid thousands of tax dollars for each readjustment. It’s also nice for the people who would have been foreclosed that they’ll get to keep their nice house instead of moving into a cheaper one or an apartment. The losers are the taxpayers and anyone who wants to buy a house at a price that isn’t artificially inflated.

  • 8. kso  |  March 5th, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    amazingly cool

  • 9. aleke  |  March 6th, 2009 at 12:52 am

    haha hell yeah! [screeches electric guitar]

    The shrill, desperate comments by koch brownshirts are even better. I can just skim and laugh for days

  • 10. E  |  March 6th, 2009 at 1:27 am

    Ames, I’m one of your biggest fans, your shit between 1998 and 2005-ish was groundbreaking in teaching me to fuck the squares, to think how I think and speak the same way. But you’ve really got to up the prose quotient on this site, everything that shows up in The Nation etc. is well-written, but it’s like you just toss some of this ExiledOnline shit onto the word processor and don’t even read it afterwards. Consider the lesson of Limonov, Celine, Burroughs: masterpieces are not just the stuff of youth. Call me nostalgic, I want the old eXile back.

  • 11. Miles  |  March 6th, 2009 at 2:11 am


    The worst part is that I have no way at all to tell whether you are serious or not. Friggin scripts. “So if I told you candidate X had a child out of wedlock would that make you more or less likely to vote for him?” and then the person on the other end of the phone gets all pissed, or worse, angry at X. Sweet fuck people need to stop being stupid.

  • 12. Jim Pivonka  |  March 6th, 2009 at 3:08 am

    Oh yeah! I left a more fulsome comment at
    #39, assuming it passes moderation.

    Keep it up. A major public service has been done here, and we appreciate it. (And tell us about the PB “erasure” soon, eh? Or at least let us know if there is a joke order involved.

  • 13. Kavuye Toon  |  March 6th, 2009 at 7:13 am

    Great job

  • 14. islmfaoscist  |  March 6th, 2009 at 9:11 am


    “Tigerhawk?” Is that you?

  • 15. pen-l  |  March 7th, 2009 at 5:36 am

    your story is being discussed on pen-l, that is Progressive Economists Network – like it or not, you’re becoming lefties, however hard you wanted to avoid that…hahaha!

    (sadly, this crisis really leaves no other option to people with an intelligence level above the category “total idiot”)

  • 16. thomzas  |  March 13th, 2009 at 9:24 am

    Watch people….

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