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He Stole It All from A Cockroach: A Lesson In Why You Shouldn't Become A Poet

Robert Creeley: Great Poet or One-Eyed Interspecies Plagiarist? Here are two pieces of twentieth-century verse. One has been called “…the most often quoted, even the most widely known, short poem” of the 1960s; the other is from a long-forgotten collection…

March 17th, 2009 | Comments (3)

Raising Bristol: Freepers Deal With The Bastard Palin

“It is not their love for us but their lack of faith that prevents today’s Christians from burning us.” —Nietzsche For sheer gloating pleasure, you can’t beat the lunkheads on Free Republic trying to deal with the news that Palin’s…

March 12th, 2009 | Comments (29)

Run Over by A VW Van

That was how he died, Professor Robert Beloof, my first mentor: crushed by a hippie van. In Portland, yet. It was a ridiculous way to die, and Beloof was, let’s face it, a ridiculous man. But it was also a…

March 4th, 2009 | Comments (27)

"Jackrabbit" Bill O'Reilly's Autobiography: A Hot Steaming Pile Of Banality

Reviewed: “A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity” by Bill O’ Reilly (Broadway, 2008). In this slight, self-indulgent memoir, Bill O’Reilly tells us how he got so “bold” and “fresh.” A humble man, he attributes his success to his own innate…

December 31st, 2008 | Comments (11)

America Needs a New Religion: Let's Pick a Pantheon!

Now that services have ended at the First National Church of Crawford, Texas, it’s clear America needs a new religion. Not to nitpick, but it could be argued that rule by the most loudly born-again or, as scholars call it,…

December 17th, 2008 | Comments (13)

Dear eXiled: Why do birds sing?

Send in your own questions, concerns and worries to ask@exiledonline.com. Team eXiled is here to help. ***** Dear eXiled: Why do birds sing? Hamish *****

December 11th, 2008 | Comments (8)

Obama Crawl: Episode #1: South Park

How do you cope with defeat when your whole creed is “You can’t argue with success”? In the wake of Obama’s victory, American conservatives have some of the best minds to come out of Regent University working on this problem….

November 21st, 2008 | Comments (31)