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Alabama Shootings: Just Another Battle In America's Thirty Years' Class War

Whenever I hear about a rampage massacre like the one that just took place in southern Alabama a few hours ago, so far leaving 11 dead and untold wounded (casualty numbers seem to tick up every hour), the first thing…

Posted on: March 11th, 2009 | Comments (58)

Class War Survival Tips: Gun Shopping Guide

Deep in your heart of hearts you know this day will come. It may come tomorrow or 10 years from now, but its coming is as inevitable as your funeral. The TV will go silent, the Internet will cease with…

Posted on: March 8th, 2009 | Comments (70)

Did Republican Greg Ball Stage His Own Dead Goat "Threat"?

Headlines today are filled with stories about how a slaughtered goat was found in front of New York Assemblyman Greg Ball’s house, with a sign around its neck claiming it was the work of the MS-13 gang, a vicious Central…

Posted on: March 7th, 2009 | Comments (22)

“Slick Rick” Santelli Is A Bailout Queen

If you’re wondering why disgraced pseudo-rebel Rick Santelli and his pals at CNBC kept strangely quiet about the hundreds of billions in bailouts right up until a couple weeks ago, when the government finally extended its bailout program beyond the…

Posted on: March 3rd, 2009 | Comments (21)

CNBC Bitch-Slaps Santelli Into Line, FreedomWorks Admits It Organized "Grassroots" Tea Parties, Jon Stewart Cancels Santelli & Megan McArdle Queefs On Our Founding Fathers

Our article last Friday exposing the familiar old rightwing corporate machine behind the fake “tea party” protests, and Rick Santelli’s highly questionable role as the one-man MC for the protests’ launch event, wound up crashing the tea party’s mojo, and…

Posted on: March 2nd, 2009 | Comments (46)

An Italian Dead Head In Thailand: Close-Up Photos Of Severed Head Found Hanging From Rama VIII Bridge

A “Westerner’s” severed head was found in a plastic bag hanging from a rope from a bridge in Thailand on Monday. Turns out he wasn’t murdered, he was just depressed. And he wasn’t just any ol’ Westerner: he was a 53-year-old…

Posted on: February 26th, 2009 | Comments (9)

Christopher "Blubber Jaw" Hitchens Picks A Three-Against-One Fight With A Syrian Nerd And Still Gets His Ass Stomped

First there was Hitchens’ comically idiotic attempt at gonzo waterboarding, in which the macho British warmonger lasted all of 11 seconds, even after he massively cheated in order to make the waterboarding as unfrightening as possible. Now he’s spinning a…

Posted on: February 18th, 2009 | Comments (71)

Surprise! Another Russian "Liberal" Sells Out To The Kremlin

Masha Gaidar, the hot elitny daughter of Russia’s first and worst prime minister, Yegor Gaidar (who introduced “shock therapy” back in 1992, wiping out everyone’s savings), announced today that she agreed to take a government post as an advisor to…

Posted on: February 18th, 2009 | Comments (16)

eXiled Alert! Joe the Copywriter Laid Off For Exposing his Incompetent Bosses

Joe the Copywriter (whose identity we’re not revealing yet) was fired less than 24 hours after we posted an  article with him railing on his incompetent bosses at the Yellow Pages company. He gloated that these Just-For-Men-highlight-wearing-morons were too clueless…

Posted on: February 16th, 2009 | Comments (18)

Posted on: February 13th, 2009 | Comments (13)

Cheney Borrows Wheelchair Trick From Casino's Remo Gaggi

If you’ve lived in Russia, you know that just before anyone big gets charged with corruption or other high crimes, they always have a way of suffering conveniently-timed heart attacks and winding up in the hospital before the heat arrives…

Posted on: January 20th, 2009 | Comments (17)

As per our promise, we just posted four more eXile issues from way back when. Check ’em out below or go to the eXile Classics pages for a up-to-date listing. We’ll be updating it weekly. *** Issue #4, April 1,…

Posted on: January 13th, 2009 | Comments (4)

Blast from the Past: eXile Classics From Way Back When

In celebration of the second printing of The eXile book, we’ve decided to start the painfully dull process of merging the vast and greatly disorganized eXile Canon into a complete and definitive collection, which will now officially be referred to…

Posted on: December 24th, 2008 | Comments (2)

The eXile Book: 2nd Printing Now On Sale!

Yea, the Lord has heard thine prayers, and He, in His infinite Sadism, has answered thee: back on sale, newly printed up, is the record of The eXile’s early beginnings. It’s The eXile: Sex, Drugs and Libel in the New…

Posted on: December 23rd, 2008 | Comments (4)

Tag Team Prophet Predictions: Parowan Prophet and Blind Baba Vanga

Last Sunday, an LA Times correspondent sat down with a modern-day prophet hailing from Utah. His name was Leeland Freeborn, but he’s popularly known as the “Parowan Prophet.” He went through to the other side and saw God’s plan when…

Posted on: December 17th, 2008 | Comments (11)

Russians Decorate Their Aquariums With Sunken Kursk Replicas

For just 300 rubles or about 10 bucks, Russians now can decorate their aquariums with replicas of the sunken Kursk submarine, in which 118 Russian sailors suffocated to death eight years ago. Note the certificate authenticating the important fact that…

Posted on: December 16th, 2008 | Comments (9)

Hudson Murderer Confesses: "I Had A Bad Hair Day"

Seriously, if you looked like this dude–as if Doctor J’s afro wig was taped backwards on top of your receding hairline for heightened comic effect

Posted on: December 2nd, 2008 | Comments (5)

Mark Ames is the founding editor of The eXile and co-editor of The eXiled. His articles have appeared in The Nation, Playboy, Daily Beast, Alternet, Radar, The New York Press, and elsewhere. He is the author of“Going Postal: Rage, Murder…

Posted on: November 5th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Is Cindy McCain Still A Junkie?

What is it with Cindy McCain’s eyes? Everyone’s noticed that there’s something odd about them. Even Katie Couric was caught in an unplugged moment omigodding about how weirded-out she was by Cindy McCain’s mysterious, odd-looking eyes: “She looks like a…

Posted on: September 25th, 2008 | Leave Comment

The Islamabad Marriott: Rooms Available

BREAKING WARNEWS! You’ve probably heard by now that Al Qaeda just zapped the Marriott Hotel in Islamabad. A truck blew up while security was going over it with sniffer dogs. At least the dogs died happy, I suppose. Those sniffer…

Posted on: September 20th, 2008 | Comments (1)