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The War Nerd
War Nerd Classic: In Praise Of Sikhs, "The Coolest Warrior Tribe Around"

I think I’ve finally found a religion I can convert to. I’m thinking of turning Sikh. And we’ll just slide right by all the puns popping into your little heads, if you don’t mind. The Sikhs are just the coolest warrior tribe around. Take their scripture.

Posted on: August 8th, 2012 | Comments (181)

War Nerd Classic: Altar Boy Vs. Altar Boy In Uganda: The Lord's Resistance Army & Joseph Kony

This article is a War Nerd Classic Christians are stone killers. You put a Christian and a lion in an arena and I’ll bet Toyotas to Subarus the Christian’ll have the lion for lunch. Just look around you: lions are…

Posted on: March 7th, 2012 | Comments (62)

The War Nerd: Who Won Iraq? Answer: Anyone Who Stayed Out

But let’s take the question seriously for a second here: who won in Iraq? To answer it, you have to start with a close-up of the region, then change magnification to look at the world picture. At a regional level the big winner is obvious: Iran. In fact, Iran wins so big in this war that I’ve already said that Dick Cheney’s DNA should be checked out by a reputable lab, because he has to be a Persian mole.

Posted on: December 15th, 2011 | Comments (55)

War Nerd: Ben Grierson, Actual Hero

There are actual American heroes. Not a lot, and you don’t hear much about them, but there are a few. I don’t mean working moms who spend their Saturdays spooning soup into winos. I mean classic citizen-soldiers who get it right every…

Posted on: October 16th, 2011 | Comments (81)

The War Nerd: The Mayan Caste War--Vivan Los Machetes

Some of the weirdest, longest wars around have been on the other side of the Big River, but for some reason most American war nerds would rather read about Eurasian battles. Not sure why, except I remember when I was…

Posted on: October 10th, 2011 | Comments (51)

The War Nerd: China Joins the Yacht Club

When we lived in Long Beach, my dad used to say the same thing every time we saw the sign to the yacht club: “You know what a boat is?” He’d ask the car that, then wait for somebody to…

Posted on: September 18th, 2011 | Comments (229)

War Nerd 9/13: Ten Years On and A Long Way Down

Well, it’s ten years and a couple of days since 9/11. The reason I’m two days late doing a look back is that 9/11 is boring. I’m sick of it. And the ten years since are just depressing, at least if you’re an American.

Posted on: September 13th, 2011 | Comments (133)