Vanity Fair profiles The eXile: "Gutsy...visceral...serious journalism...abusive, defamatory...poignant...paranoid...and right!"
MSNBC: Mark Ames and Yasha Levine
Broke the Koch Brothers' Takeover of America
Fatwah / Santelli Watch / March 5, 2009


CNBC’s Jim Cramer has positioned himself as yet another champion of the people against the evil government. A couple of days ago, the method-actor/ CNBC host of “Mad Money” stirred up a hullabaloo when he pretended to be angry and attacked the Obama government’s economic program as “the greatest wealth destruction I’ve seen by a president.”

Right. Let’s leave aside for a moment the fact that Cramer is a giant welfare queen whose salary is subsidized by the $139 billion taxpayer dollars to his parent company, General Electric. For now, let’s just try and answer this simple question:  “Who destroys your wealth more: Obama or Jim Cramer?”

Last Friday, when his company GE announced a massive dividend cut, Cramer told his viewers to buy. His counter-intuitive reason was that even though under normal circumstances a dividend cut means that the company is going broke and can’t pay dividends, in this case, oddly enough, “it was positive.”

“I applaud management for doing it,” he said, deep-throating his bosses for cutting investors’ returns so that there’s more money in the bank to pay Jim’s salary.


GE’s stock subsequently plummeted for four straight days after his recommendation. One of the biggest problems, according to a Bloomberg article, is that GE is trying to sugarcoat a dire situation, and sophisticated investors (i.e. the types who don’t listen to Cramer) aren’t buying it:


“The rub against GE at this point is they have been pretty slow to admit some problem assets” in the finance unit, said Peter Klein, senior portfolio manager at Cleveland-based Fifth Third Asset Management, which holds the shares among $18 billion under management. “If assets are impaired in some way you would like to know to that.”


So while your taxpayer subsidies to GE and their dividend cuts to shareholders be bery bery good to Jim, any poor sucker who believed his recommendation for GE stock on Friday be bery bery fucked. The day of Cramer’s recommendation on February 27, GE’s stock rose to over 9 dollars per share in intraday trading; yesterday, the stock fell to as low as $5.72 per share, its lowest price in 17 years. In just 4 days, Jim Cramer lost you, the gullible viewer, 1/3 of your investment. And at the same time picked your pocket for your tax dollars.

Folks, that’s what we call “wealth destruction you can believe in!”

[Update: Click here for a graph showing all the stocks Cramer has pimped to his viewers in 2009, and how they actually performed.]

What this shows is that Cramer is perfectly willing to scam John Q Public and pimp his boss’s snake oil. It’s just that Cramer doesn’t know which boss he really should serve: it’s not GE, but the Obama government, and whatever government agency that writes out Jim’s welfare checks. We’re pretty sure that as soon as Cramer is told who his real boss is, a whore like him will quickly get on his knees and start pushing viewers to buy U.S. Treasuries along with “green” windmill-operated energy plants. Cuz that’s the kinda principled guy Cramer is.

In the meantime, can someone answer this question: why the fuck are we taxpayers subsidizing the pay of a lying sack of shit snakeoil salesman like Jim Cramer, who turns around bashes the government for paying his salary, while trying pawn off worthless GE shares to the rest of us? Are these assholes tenured-for-life?

Mark Ames is the author of Going Postal: Rage, Murder and Rebellion from Reagan’s Workplaces to Clinton’s Columbine.

Click the cover & buy the book!

Read more: , , , Mark Ames, Fatwah, Santelli Watch

Got something to say to us? Then send us a letter.

Want us to stick around? Donate to The eXiled.

Twitter twerps can follow us at


Add your own

  • 1. Pablito  |  March 5th, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    Haha. Good one, Ames.

  • 2. Allen  |  March 5th, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    Now that’s the kind of fuck you journalism *I* can believe in…

  • 3. ptf  |  March 5th, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    These guys are ridiculous…institutionally ridiculous…it shouldn’t be possible to legitimately make “investing” into entertainment (excluding of course the gambling aspect).

    I’m curious if the CNBC salaries are actually publicly subsidized…it’s certainly possible with falling ad revenues, but if NBC Universal is independently solvent – especially since the bulk of the subsidies are going to go to the Capital and Finance divisions…then it’s questionable.

  • 4. James Bowman  |  March 5th, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Suckin Satan’s cock like a good company boy.

  • 5. Johnny  |  March 5th, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    Cramer is a clown just like the rest of these guys at CNBC. It’s a good idea to ignore all of them. And for him (or anyone else) to blame what’s happening right now on Obama is absolutely insane. This is the Bush recession (and possibly The Bush Depression.)

  • 6. rev  |  March 5th, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    Kramer’s a tool and now he’s proven himself a fool as well. His most honest performance was probably his cameo in ‘Iron Man.’ Otherwise, he’s got as much credibility as that flatulent, drug-addled, hate-monger, Rush Limbaugh.

  • 7. Mitch Cumsteen  |  March 5th, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    1) Cramer’s a democrat so him sucking satans cock would mean what? 2) you don’t have to follow his advice, you have a choice. 3) Obama’s not giving you advice and you’ve got no choice. His ability to uninspire investors in our economy has been far more damaging then Cramer’s attempts to revive confidence. So, yes. Obama is definitly ruining our economy on a scale that has seen no comparison and with that the wealth of even middle class individuals. How’s your 401k?

  • 8. Mitch's Daddy  |  March 5th, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    Mitch come upstairs we have something to talk about.

    1.) You weren’t reading or listening – you little tool.
    2.) Investors aren’t the only way to revive our economy. We don’t want to continue in the false inflated economy that we had before.

    You can cry all you want but you really need to pull your head out of your ass.

  • 9. Mitch Cumsteen  |  March 5th, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    A little tool? How is name calling relevant to this disccussion? Because you can spout an off the cuff comment(showing you’re blatant minsunderstanding of the world of economics) doesn’t make you a great resource of judgment.
    This article blames Cramer for selling off an investment idea, however bad, to the american public, therefor, losing more money for individual investors than Obama. But, my point was, guy, that Cramer can offer any advice he wants, the stocks plummeted not because investors were buying, they plummeted becasue people were selling. SO people didn’t heed his advice anyway. So, the question then is why were they selling then…if Cramer told them to buy and they did, the stock should have gone up? Why I ask? Because Obama is not instilling any confidence in the american investor to have faith that his money will support a flourishing economy. That’s all. I can be whatever tool you want, but at least I am not uneducated enough to think I am right when I am an idiot. And trickle down econmics is the basis for our econmy to revive itself…which can basically measure the confidence a consumer has that they feel they will have money to spend at a later date. The less they spend, the less confidence there is that they will have money after they spend it.

  • 10. Mitch Cumsteen  |  March 5th, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    And basically I’m a mush…you probably succeed at most things in life and think mouthing off about how ignorant I am is a way to express yourself while I truly have no clue about how the world really works. Keep schooling me bud…I’m useless.

  • 11. wengler  |  March 5th, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    Mitch Cumstain,

    Money rules everything around you. Go along and be a good little corporate whore and stop biting the hand that feeds you. Leave the criticism to people that can think without Republican talking points shoved in front of them.

  • 12. John  |  March 5th, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    #9 has a point in that GE’s price fell because there were more sellers than buyers. It is anyone’s _guess_ as to why that is the case. You cannot prove causality in the stock market, only offer suggestions.

    PS: click my name. It’s old news, but still relevant imo.

  • 13. nobody  |  March 5th, 2009 at 6:58 pm

    Who is the chick in that clip? “The Postal Service sponsors Lance Armstrong?” What planet is she on? USPS stopped their sponsorship in 2005. And even if they hadn’t, what does USPS sponsorship of anything have to do with GE dividends?

    Most scattershot just hoping she’ll hit something/anything.

    She does look a bit like Sarah Silverman, though.

  • 14. nobody  |  March 5th, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    Oops, USPS sponsorship ended in 2003, not 2005.

  • 15. Business  |  March 5th, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    I hope he bought a lot of Bear Sterns and AIG stock when he recommended it. I was in an elevator today and overheard a stockbroker say to another, “Man, one of my clients lost a lot of money. Oh well, it’s not my money.”

  • 16. coldequation  |  March 5th, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    You can make money following Jim Cramer’s picks. The trick is that you have to sell when he says buy:

    “Taken together, our results suggest that the aggregate losers in our event study are the Mad Money viewers who decide to buy the recommended securities when the markets open the following day, and that the winners are the market makers and arbitraguers [sic] who sell the overpriced recommended stocks on day 1, as well as the traders who sell the recommended stocks on days 2 through 12.”

  • 17. Mitch Cumsteen  |  March 6th, 2009 at 7:30 am

    Yes, defending a democrat(Cramer) means I am a spoon fed republican. Logic has certainly worked wonders for you in creating just a fantastical world of delusion. Have you ever heard of a libertarian? Or are you to involved in a two party system that screws you on both ends without ever realizing that you’re being spoon fed bullshit on either side…also cool freedom of speech editing on comment 10…I think my point was better served after.

  • 18. kotek besar  |  March 6th, 2009 at 8:02 am

    I don’t get it. Why would any sane intelligent person act of advice given by some bald guy who’s constipated and clearly happy about it? And on a program called ‘Mad Money’ of all things.

  • 19. HiddenPalm  |  March 6th, 2009 at 8:18 am

    Blaming Obama for our problems today is stupid, even though you can blame him for signing the genocide resolutions in 2006 allowing Israel to continue its war crimes in Lebanon and you can blame him for agreeing with the Sean Bell verdict, you can blame him for signing away our rights to privacy, and for continuing the war in Afghanistan and Iraq and bombing Pakistan and Syria, you can blame him for sending troops to the Mexican border, and training 20,000 troops for “domestic upheaval”, for all the children and elderly dying in Gaza right now from the Blockade.

    You can’t blame Obama for our many of our problems today but you can blame Obama for his stimulus plan which is foul and does not bail out the People. Never forget this is hegemony wars, and has nothing to do with us. You want results start following Paraguay, Uruguay, Bolivia, Ecuador, Chile, Venezuela, Brazil, Argentina, Nicaragua and soon El Salvador and let’s have ourselves a peaceful democratic revolution, before its to late and someone else will do it for us. Its time to become a Green.

  • 20. j-dog  |  March 6th, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    sounds like every time one of these fools says “BUY” it’s a good time to SHORT sell

  • 21. FatNSassy  |  March 7th, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    Anyone who trusts MSM for anything these days has to have their head examined. It is nothing but PR, manipulation, VNR, commercials and BS!

  • 22. Speeders r murderers  |  March 7th, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    I hate Cramer. He’s just as corrupt as Rush (I hope america fails) Limbaugh.

  • 23. hudu guru  |  March 8th, 2009 at 5:45 am

    Cramer is as Cramer does. CNBC/Cramer shills out info to individual investors, not institutions. Cramer speaks to Joe Lunchpail while Mr. Lunchpail has no idea what’s moving the market other than what Cramer just told him. CNBC is entertainment. Bottom line. Ad revenue, increased veiwer percentage these are the things CNBC/GE are interested in. Cramer is a character. His show might as well be on Saturday mornings after Sponge bob.

  • 24. Walter  |  March 8th, 2009 at 8:22 am

    It is amazing to me that people can’t think for themselves. Either it’s one or the other. I personally watch CNBC all the time – and I think the people call it there as they see it(most of the time). No one has a crystal ball but people like Cramer I believe are trying to help. He made millions as a hedge-fund manager and can sit at home if he wants. It’s also amazing to me that people are on one side when everything is going so great(weren’t the Dems ooohing and aahing over Clinton when the stock market was going up in the 90s? – going up because of these same bankers/brokers?) – the same as the Reps were defending Bush in his first term against the Clinton recession. It’s laughable to me how much people put in the Dem/Rep. thing and don’t understand that neither side cares about you. they only care about money and power. To think that because we have a new administration that this will change is laughable and something I hope my 10year old wouldn’t believe.
    One last point -the Dems may hate the investors but it is the ability of companies to raise money that creates jobs. Without the stock market companies like Google, Amazon and First Solar may never get the money they need to create the thousands of jobs that are needed. The stock market keeps going down because investors have little faith that Obama and Geithner have a plan that will work or even stabilize the financial system. Rightly or wrongly, that is the perception and unless you are going to do away with the stock market and free-market(yes, I know it has its problems) enterprise investors will NOT throw there money into new companies to create new jobs. If they have any left after the stock market crash and Obamas taxes, that is.

  • 25. Kramer 2.0  |  March 10th, 2009 at 7:23 am


  • 26. Kelvin Phillips  |  March 10th, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    Well, I know for a fact that the Republicans have definitely failed at monetary policy and I am not eager to give them another chance to screw up again. As for those investors…It’s those who game the system and mess it up that people like me have a problem with.

    Times have changed. It’s not the publics job to trust Wall Street, it’s Wall Street’s job to earn the public’s trust. And Wall Street doesn’t care.

  • 27. `faert noise  |  March 15th, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    jim cramer suck cock

  • 28. Jack Boot  |  March 18th, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    ‘Tis time to revive the traditional penalty for false prophets…

  • 29. vvvci  |  March 20th, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    Don’t forget Cramer’s immortal, soon-to-be infamous “Here’s how you use your Hedge-Fund to FLEECE unsuspecting investors” tutorial (video).

    Cramer’s has already censored (copyright blocked) this video before. It is a tutorial on how a hedge fund “squeezes” stocks lowere – wiping out “MORON LONGS”, or alternatively pushes stocks artificially higher, UNLOADING them on unsuspecting investors, using (what else) coordinated sales between different traders working for same fund, or, in some cases, taking a $15 million hit to preserve the fund from a far larger dire, “short position.”

    Don’t forget where Cramer learned all these tricks from – as Well as BUSH’s Treasury Secretary, Hank Paulson, as well as CLINTON’s Treasury Secretary, Robert Rubin!

    The “new” guy in the White House has STACKED his administration with these crooks! Hell, Giethner’s #2 at Treasury is a blatant _-_ former LOBBYIST!!

    Let me save you a dozen weeks of trouble: THOSE GUYS are GROUND ZERO of this economic nightmare, they gloat about bonuses one month, stand in line for bailouts the next, and then DOUBLE DIP on the bailouts from all directions!

  • 30. CSI  |  March 21st, 2009 at 8:59 am

    If I have to hear one more time how Jon Stewart “destroyed” Cramer I’m going to puke.

    Cramer is a clown little better than morning zoo radio show hosts. Whoever takes him seriously deserves what they get.

    He’s to actual investing as Jon Stewart is to actual news, and the people who take them seriously are too dumb to learn anything unless it’s presented to them by a clown honking his nose. The idea of one fraud destroying the other is laughable.

    And if you even watched the clip, all Stewart does is basically say, “You should have done something. I don’t know WHAT, but you should have done it.” Just how far can ignorant indignation get someone? According to the clapping seals in the Daily Show audience, pretty far!

  • 31. H.D. Price  |  March 23rd, 2009 at 11:22 am

    There is no difference between the Republicans and Democrats, they are two sides of the same coin. Clinton was nothing more than a moderate Republican, and you can see the same recycled bullshit from Obama (and his recycled cabinet). As for investing on the advice from some clown on TV, who in their right mind would put real money (or Federal Reserve Notes, which is what has passed for real money for a long time now) on what some idiot on the boob tube, whether it’s Suzy Whoreman or Dim Cramer, says? Television is all about entertainmen. As Howard Beale said in Network, “We’re in the boredom killing business!” A fool with “boo ya” and smashing big red buttons for sound effects? And you take financial advice from him? You get what you deserve then.

  • 32. Tom Dockery  |  April 15th, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    Great.As soon as GE goes bankrupt,Notre Dame will go begging to the Big 10,who will turn them down.

  • 33. Joseph  |  April 16th, 2009 at 7:12 am

    I lost a bunch of money on GE last year, but that was before Jim recommended it. I blame that lying “we won’t cut the dividend” POS Jeff Immelt. I hope he gets canned and sued for investor fraud.

    On Cramer though, he has made me a ton of money. I bet nearly everything I had left in the IRA on AMD after hearing Cramer recommend it in november (and after doing my homework) and am up around 100% since then, making back nearly all of my losses.

    I’m on the fence about fading the gains or being greedy and hanging on now, but one thing is for sure. Sometimes he is right.

  • 34. Mike  |  April 16th, 2009 at 8:07 am

    “the greatest wealth destruction I’ve seen by a President.” Cramer is not a President.

    For now, let’s just try and answer this simple question: ”Who destroys your wealth more: Obama or Jim Cramer?”

    That’s not a good question because fiat money and the stock market are ponzi schemes along with most of the government programs! Obama with Fed Reserve handed bailout of $12.8 trillion as of March! and not just the $700 billion TARP (that’s just the appetizer).

  • 35. Gordon S. Creek  |  April 16th, 2009 at 8:21 am

    Your graphs and numbers have no correlation.
    Go back to Statistics 101, as I suspect
    that you have never taken any statistics
    Lies, damn lies and statistics,
    telling the truth is a much better option.
    Your comments are filled with emotionalism
    and very little facts or truths.

  • 36. Dakota  |  April 16th, 2009 at 1:54 pm


    After seeing Cramer bragging of manipulating the market during his daze as a hedge fund manager I can’t believe ANYONE listens to him or that he isn’t met with tomatos everywhere he goes.

    Exactly how is Cramer different from Madeoff other than having an hour show on CNBC?

    It’s all such a joke, all of it, from the biggest Ponzi scheme in the history of the world, which is still in it’s infancy, to banksters robbing our great-great grandchildren with the threats of too big to fail.

    Too bad they’re not too big to jail.

    Our so called Representatives that received calls ranging from 300:1 to 100:1 against the bailout have no intentions of arresting their partners in crime, so once again we have taxation without representation.

    After my comments, I have a question.

    Exactly when did the coup happen?

  • 37. Pequiste  |  April 16th, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    Oh that Jim Cramer
    of CNBC fame r
    the lunantic fringe of the market.
    He’ll tease you and taunt you
    as long as you do view
    this idiots shill and shrill bark it.

    It’s all for a dollar
    So please don’t you holler
    if you’ve listened to his swill in re money.
    His bosses find reason
    to show him all season
    cause their government bailout is real funny.

    So take it from me
    I would much rather be
    reading caustic and insight right here.
    For this shithead named Cramer is not only to blame R,
    ’cause you saw him and gave him your ear.

    Best shut off the telly
    and go fill your belly
    while there is occasion my friend.
    For the market and Demons
    have a plan and it see-ums
    to have financial catastrophe as end.

    P.S. This asshole’s “Mad Money” is a very bad clown show. He needs only to wear some big shoes, a frilly collar, polka dot baggy jump suit, fluffy buttons and a Bozo red-hair wig. Don’t forget the big red nose! Surely infantile infotainment for a childish audience. Just filler and distraction. Destructive only to those who have that much time to waste on such sewage.
    You might as well take your “financial advice” from Kramer from the Seinfeld show.

  • 38. Garret  |  April 16th, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    If you bought on Feb 27 at the $8.60 open, and held until today at $12.27, you would be up 42.6% in a month and a half. That translates to a 340% return for the year (assuming no compounding, which would make the returns even better). Also, look at the Dow Jones Industrials on Feb 27. The whole index was tanking. The odds are you could have picked any stock on this day and been way lower 4 days later. To be fair, because of the remarkable turn in the indices, you probably could have picked any number of different stocks and been up 40% over this time period as well.

  • 39. john galt  |  April 16th, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    I have a loan with G.E.M.B., What a bunch of scumbags they are! I am trying to get a group of people to short their stock. I,m going to so maybe I can recoup some of my money they charged in fees! If it digs into Cramers pocket too, all the better!

  • 40. Dan  |  April 17th, 2009 at 3:33 am

    My bookie gives better odds than Craner. MSNBC and Cramer make a good team.

  • 41. SA  |  October 28th, 2009 at 6:09 am

    Who’s the alternative, for buy and sell alerts, to Cramer? (Please don’t say Don Harrold.)

  • 42. URADUMBFUCK  |  March 23rd, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    Wow you’re stupid (MARK AMES). This is a failed attempt to bring down a talented person who has made a lot of people a lot of money. You’re choice of language also reduces your credibility. For example, I just wrote “you’re choice of language” which is the correct way to increase my credibility with Jim Cramer. He and I know English grammar. And we know credibility too. Your not going to understand the proper use of “you’re” because you’re brain can’t handle it. You’re credibility is seriously going down even as your reading this.

Leave a Comment

(Open to all. Comments can and will be censored at whim and without warning.)


Required, hidden

Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed