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All Articles: Page 41
It’s D-Day In Zalambessa

Let’s see how well you know your military history. Give the date and place of this comminique: “Our Victorious Forces Liberate Zalambessa!! Our victorious and heroic air and ground forces have liberated the town of Zalambessa after completely annihilating the…

Oct 2, 2002 | Comments (5)

Future War: Hi-Tech Toys vs. Fanged Vermin

They asked me to think about how war would change over the next 150 years for the eXile’s anniversary issue. Weird to think about it: wars going on when you’re dead. My doctor told me it’s maybe 15 more years…

Sep 19, 2002 | Comments (2)

War Nerd: Make America Roman

Last column I asked readers to suggest wars that’d be more fun for the US to get involved in than Colombia. I got some great answers — and thanks everybody who wrote in — but when I looked into the…

Sep 6, 2002 | Comments (6)

Colombia: A Hundred Years of Slaughtertude

Every day America gets deeper into the shit in Colombia. We’re dumping planeloads of cash on the Colombian army — $1.5 billion is what Rumsfeld’ll admit, so you gotta assume it’s more like ten billion with the rest squeezed through…

Aug 22, 2002 | Comments (5)

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Spain vs. Morocco: Two Muppets Du Iwo Jima

This year’s Oscar for best military comedy has to go to the island-claiming “war” between those great military powers, Spain and Morocco. It was a sidesplitter from beginning to end. Just imagine the battle of Iwo Jima turned into a…

Jul 26, 2002 | Comments (10)

Iraq 2: Here Comes the Dumb-Ass Sequel

Waiting for Dubya and his Texas cronies to decide whether to hit Iraq is like waiting for Christ. It’s so goddamn slow, and you start kinda doubting it’s gonna happen at all. American tv reminds me of Sunday school teachers…

Jul 25, 2002 | Comments (4)

War Nerd: What’s a Chechen?

What’s a Chechen? It sounds like the start of a joke, but there’s no punchline. I’m supposed to write about the war in Chechnya this issue, but…the war itself is kind of interesting, but something’s missing. Maybe you don’t realize…

Jun 28, 2002 | Comments (7)

War Nerd: Altar Boy Vs. Altar Boy In Uganda: Introducing The Lord’s Resistance Army & Joseph Kony

  I told you so. Told you nothing would happen with India and Pakistan. Told you the whole idea of “Hindu militants” was laughable. But Christian militants — that’s a whole ‘nuther thing. Christians are stone killers. You put a…

Jun 26, 2002 | Comments (6)

War Nerd: Fag vs. Fag: the India-Pakistan Phoney War

Will India and Pakistan ever finish the cat-fight and get on with a real war? “We live in hope,” like my grandma used to say — but don’t hold your breath. Listening to the Indian and Paki generals shaking their…

May 29, 2002 | Comments (4)

War Nerd: Tom Clancy Is Not One of Us

My first fan letter from the eXile was an email from some guy in Michigan who wanted the latest news on Tom Clancy. Yeah sure, that’s why I’m here — to help you kiss that rich fat coward’s ass. For…

May 16, 2002 | Comments (12)

War Nerd: Israelis On Wheels!

Ever seen a Monster Truck show? They’re big in Fresno. The thrill is watching civilian cars get crushed by giant 4×4′s. But it’s nothing compared to the monster truck show the Israelis have put on in the last few weeks….

May 1, 2002 | Comments (3)

Meet The War Nerd: Gary Brecher’s First Article

Ames asked me to write a column on how all the wars are going, kind of a war reviewer. And I said yes on one condition, that you people don’t send me emails telling me liking war is a sign…

Apr 21, 2002 | Leave Comment

How I Harassed The Working Class: Dr. Dolan’s Skirmish With Poet Jim Daniels

This is an eXile classic, first published in The eXile on March 6, 2002. I‘m a harasser. Put the cuffs on me; I harassed the working class. And it wasn’t even fun. It’s not like I groped some factory girl…

Mar 6, 2002 | Comments (21)

Book Review: Trainspotting With Guns…

Made in Yugoslavia By Vladimir Jokanovic Translated by Zeljana Zovko and Cathy Porter Picador, 2001 Ah, we’re already nostalgic for the little wars of the nineties, especially the colorful Balkan popups, with their quaint rituals and goofy flags. Remember those…

Nov 4, 2001 | Comments (1)

Crouching Camel-Toe, Hidden Snapper

Her name was Wana. My first and only slope. I boned her last night. I done-did her right here in Kentucky, in the heart of the Bible Belt. Wana didn’t say, “Me so hoh-nee, me love you long time!” Instead,…

Sep 7, 2001 | Comments (2)

Letter From America: I, Mark Ames, Goes Lesbian Yenta

In the Reagan years alternative culture trends came and went with such speed that only a desperate fool tried to keep up. I was a desperate fool, and I tried at times to keep up, but I was too slow…

Aug 23, 2001 | Comments (2)

Feature Story: COMBED OVER!!!

It all started two weeks ago. There is a certain person, whom I will hereafter refer to as a Little Birdie, who often sends the eXile materials and ideas for stories and pranks, without getting any credit for contributing. Two…

Aug 10, 2001 | Comments (2)

Press Review: Tell US What You Think!

The eXile is soliciting commentary on the following article, written by Michael Wines of the New York Times. We need your help in attaining a more perfect understanding of this article. Send your comments to editor Matt Taibbi at taibbi@exile.ru,…

Jul 26, 2001 | Leave Comment

Feature: New York Times Hack Eats Horse Sperm Pie

His name was Pobornik. He had never read The New York Times. He would never be able to recognize a classic “pyramid lead.” His hours were occupied by other pursuits: grazing, sleeping standing up for long stretches, swatting away insects with…

Apr 5, 2001 | Comments (8)

Moscow Babylon: Free Edward Limonov

In the autumn of 1998, I got a call from Edward Limonov asking me if I could do a favor for him. His newspaper Limonka—known for its mix of extreme politics and avant-garde aesthetics—was preparing to celebrate its fourth anniversary at…

Mar 11, 2001 | Comments (1)

Editorial: What About the Virgins?

Lost amid the furor over the takeover of the Media Most empire is the following crucial truth: that of the key figures on either side of the controversy, none of them would be genuinely sexually appealing to any comely 16-year-old…

Mar 7, 2001 | Comments (4)

Live at the Witch Trials

Three men convicted of producing the class B controlled drug opium were each jailed… In each man’s case Judge McDonald took two years’ jail as the starting point for sentence. Otago Daily Times (April 17, 2001) It takes radio signals…

Mar 7, 2001 | Leave Comment

Your Letters: [sic] of the Web

A [sic] BEFORE DYING Dear editor. Now that i have retired i would like to take this opportunity to thank you for all the support that you’ve given me over the years. But i still think that you’re papers full…

Feb 1, 2000 | Comments (1)

Issue #10 Cover

This is the cover of issue #10 of The eXile, published June 1997.

Jun 19, 1997 | Leave Comment

Limonov Files: Jews: Effective, Excellent, Talented, Anxious, Crazy Arrogant, Self-Lovers, Megalomaniancs

The world has two extremely opposite opinions about them: 1. The destiny of Jewish tribe is terrible tragedy. It is exceptionally tragical. The Jews are martyrs of History. They are persecuted by non-Jews. 2. The Jews are ruling the world…

Jun 19, 1997 | Comments (2)