Today, we sifted through a buttloads of your fan letters and picked the first ones that floated to the top, including three letters from Iranian terrorists, a knee-scraping nightlife tool from Moscow, another cheap-ass reader, and much, much less… (more…)

A [sic] BEFORE DYING

Dear editor.

Now that i have retired i would like to take this opportunity to thank you for all the support that you’ve given me over the years. But i still think that you’re papers full of shit!!!!

LOVE

BORIS??????

Dear Mr. ??????,

Are you ever going to die? Folks, we think it’s time to cut the bullshit here and to lay odds on the first Moscow Ghoul Pool of the third millennium. Send us your swami-soothsayer guesses as to when you think Yeltsin’s pipes will burst for the last time. (more…)