Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Anyone dressing up as Sarah Palin for Halloween is condemned to waterboarding with extreme prejudice. How we’re going to manage to torture such a huge crowd of morons I don’t know—we’ll have to hire a lot of temps, I guess, and have them work in shifts. Because as far as I can tell, everyone is going as Sarah Palin tonight. Male, female, young, old, gay, straight, human, animal, it doesn’t matter. If you don’t want to see thousands of fake (or should I say faker) Sarah Palins roaming the streets, lock your doors and keep the curtains closed.
(more…)
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: On rare occasions, certain people are brave, and must be commended.
Can I time these articles or what? The day after I put up my article on Ethiopia’s troubles in Somalia, 5 car bombs go off in two Somali cities targeting the Ethiopian consulate in Hargeisa, the Presidential Palace (such as …
A couple of years ago I mentioned that Ethiopian troops were occupying Mogadishu and said it was the perfect experimental setup for us. Now we could find out if anybody could pacify that place.
Well, the answer’s in, because the Ethiopian …
Today’s Defendant: White America
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Today we write in praise of White America. It’s long overdue, says Frank Rich, the New York Times columnist. He wrote a recent article called “In Defense of White America” in which he argues …
Today’s Defendant: When Animals Attack!
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: There used to be this tremendously moral show on TV back in the 1990s called When Animals Attack! It was all about how you should respect animals or else suffer the …
No way.
Actually, I refuse to review High School Musical 3. We all know it’s rotten.
Which brings me to my point: where the hell are the movies? I mean the ones for mass audiences, designed to make sentient beings …
The Damnation of Ashley Todd
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Little need be said here. What does a Texas Republican know about stigmata? What could an Anglo-Saxon understand about self-mutilation?
You may not have noticed it, but a couple of weeks ago, the New York Times slipped in a story that completely contradicted a narrative that it had been building up for two straight months, one that was leading America into …
The Good Book: You Can’t Win
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: There are few good books. You Can’t Win by Jack Black, a forgotten memoir of the 1920s is a very good book. For that, we honor it.
This Jack Black is …
The Canonization of Andrew Lahde
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Though Kenny Rogers will never write a song in his honor, Andrew Lahde is what redemption looks like. Or, more to the point, sounds like. Lahde spent the first part of …
Don’t be fooled by how amusing this image looks.
You ever sit through the rough cut of your friend’s independent film? Well, I have, lotsa times, God help me, so seeing Oliver Stone’s W. really brought back …
Today’s Defendant: The Simpsons
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: We might as well stop beating around the bush and have the whole show canonized, if that’s possible. If not, all the characters can be saints, right? Or would it have to be Matt …
The Russkie dream of buying out America’s economy might have tanked, but the Russians are increasingly sneaking across the border and making their presence felt in the U.S. media. Here is this week’s Russian-American video roundup.
1. Love Song For Sarah Palin
First, we …
Today’s Defendant: Joe the Plumber
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Oh, this guy’s got to pay.
Joe the Plumber, aka Joe Wurzelbacher—or maybe his name’s actually Samuel and he isn’t a licensed plumber–but regardless he’s an arrogant bald-headed prick who’s become an …
