Russian companies know that sex sells. They also have a ridiculous amount of hot chicks working in them. Putting tyolka and tyolka together, they had a light bulb marketing moment: “Let us not imprison our talent in offices and simply waste it on paper pushing (and the occasional extra-marital blow job). Let us be proud and show them off to the world.” The girls couldn’t be more pleased. In fact, everyone was pleased. And that’s the story of how every Russian company got to have their own “Girls of [Insert Company Name Here]” calendar series. (more…)
The Russian vacation season has finally come to an end, but for fans of Tyolka Thursdays, this means the real fun has just begun. It is a little known fact that in Russia, autumn is the official start of the much anticipated summer-vacation-picture-posting season, in which tyolkas compete against each other to see who can post the sluttiest photos in the most exotic visa-free package-vacation locations. Those with access to yachts and boats tend to be a bit more modest, but for the majority of tyolki, who spend their August vacation on rocky beaches with 3-star Turkish hotels as backdrops, they have to spice up their photos with a little, ah, creativity. (more…)
No this isn’t from the mugshot section of Smoking Gun. These are official portraits of the men in the Russian Duma, which is what they call the parliament around those parts. Looking at these caring faces, you just know that these guys have only one thing on their mind: making the world a better place for children and all living things.
(more…)
These photographs, dating back to early June, are from a graduation ceremony for Moscow’s MVD Academy. These totalitarian tyolkas almost make you wish that Russia would come and occupy your country (i.e. our country). Serve up some of that sovereign democracy, ladies!
(more…)
eXiled Alert! Tyolka Tuesdays has been moved. From now on it’s going to be called “Tyolka”Thursdays” and will appear every Thursday, naturally. Relax, it’s still the same ol’ Russian chick fix, just on a different day of the week.
This week’s Tyolka Thursdays post shows just how serious Russians are about that old advertising adage. In Russia, sex sells everything. And that includes website hosting.
These pics are taken from a promo event for Moscow’s Hosting Telesystems, which introduced the company’s sexy staff to masturbating computer geeks from Kaliningrad to Kamchatka. They’re saying, “Hey nerds, if you host your lame site with us, you’ll have sex with our horny naked tyolka staff! We’ve got tyolkas doing everything: taking customer service calls, working the router racks (uh-uh-huh), defending their network against DoS attacks and, most importantly, scanning for all sorts of nasty viruses (uh-huh-huh) and trojan condoms, eh, we mean, horses!”
(more…)
This week on Tyolka Tuesday, we have something totally new. A Russian video sharing website called Smotri (which means “look” in Russian) just launched a new video chat function. It allows people to broadcast a live video feed from their desktop cameras while chatting with the public via a web instant messenger, sort of like a one-way Skype conversation that anyone can watch. Well, it doesn’t come as a surprise that Russia’s voyeuristic babes have taken a liking to this nifty service and have turned it into a virtual peep show for the masses overnight, literally. (more…)
Russia got into the social networking game a little late. The industry still isn’t very hi-tech and doesn’t have all those dorky Facebook plugins that people in the West are used to. But Russia’s got a natural resource that Facebook’s dumpy audience can never provide: people (as in chicks) that you actually want to get to know (as in biblically).
Take a look at our cultural exhibit. It shows how the girls on Russia’s premier social networking site, Odnoklassniki, compare to their American counterparts. (more…)
We’ve been getting a lot of complaints lately. It seems many of our readers have been jonesing for their daily dyev fix ever since The eXile was taken offline by the Kremlin. Well, our policy at EXILED ONLINE is that the desperate customer is always right. While EXILED ONLINE does not have the resources to provide our deprived readers with 24/7 coverage, we can give you a weekly dyev fix. We can, and we will. And we’re calling it “Tyolka Tuesdays.”
- Tyol • ka n [Russ, a chick; a young woman, especially one who is sexually desirable and in heat]
(more…)
You know how Russia’s threatening to start sending nuke-carrying, long-range bombers to Cuba? Well, meet the Few, the Proud, and the Wasted of Russia’s VDV, the country’s elite Airborne Troops. Look at these faces long and hard, folks. And then look at them again. Chances are they’ll be parachuting into your backyard, striking camp and taking liberties with your young daughter. (more…)
While the whole world has been focusing on Prime Minister Putin’s brutal slaughter of the Russian economy, a whole slew of other lesser, but oh so much more graphic, crimes have crept by undetected. We’re here to put a stop to that. The launch of EXILED ONLINE has put the gore sleuths of the infamous Death Porn Bureau back in business. Oh, gone are the good ol’ days. We’re not as well staffed as we once were and can’t have our coffee brought to us by one of our lovely DP girls. In fact, I’m the only one left. I won’t have time to cover all DP happenings that cross my desk, but it doesn’t mean I won’t try.
For this historic relaunch, we’re going with a DP classic that never gets old: the good ol’ vodka-fueled murder spree. And in these hot and humid summer months, there’s a lot of them to go around. As every seasoned DP hand knows, mixing 100-degree weather with 100-proof spirits makes for one hell of a bloody masha cocktail.
(more…)
