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Schoepenhauer Awards

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As we explained in our last issue, the eXile has created this new feature, the Schopenhauer Award, to serve the spiritual needs of our readers. Concerned that some of you might be backsliding from pure Nihilism, we’ve come up with a dramatic way to remind you what the world is really like. Each week we’ll introduce you to one of your fellow denizens of Slaveship Earth — the kind of critters you might try not to think about, left to your own devices. We feel sure that after meeting the hideous chunks of venomous, parasitic protoplasm sharing this world with you, you’ll be ready to agree with our Patron Saint, Arthur Schopenhauer, that, “unless suffering is the direct and immediate object of life, then our existence must have no object whatever.” Here to remind you of that bedrock truth is our second Schopenhauer Award nominee… (more…)

Posted on: April 27th, 2010 | Comments (19)

Exile Classic: Introducing The Schopenhauer Awards

The eXile is proud to present a new feature that we hope will entertain and educate you, the knowledge-hungry eXhole. In each issue we’ll introduce you to a new species we’ve nominated for the Schopenhauer Award. We’re going to focus…

Posted on: October 17th, 2009 | Comments (6)

Parasites: We Have Bankers, Crabs Have Translucent Sea Lice

Today we are going to study a little sea feller known as the Sacculina carcini, a flea-like shapeshifter that enslaves crabs. The Sacculina really is a perfect example of Intelligent Design. If man was made in the Lord’s image, then…

Posted on: August 25th, 2009 | Comments (5)

Our friend,the Roundworm Today we’ll introduce you to the Intestinal Roundworm, a hideous parasite which infects one out of every four people in the world. That’s not a misprint: one out of four. More than one and a half BILLION…

Posted on: May 20th, 2003 | Comments (2)

Cyst (left) in child’s brain. Everybody knows a few of the more overhyped parasites who infest this great rotting corpse we call Earth, but most people don’t realize how many of them there are, and how resourceful they are in finding…

Posted on: May 3rd, 2003 | Comments (4)

“Aging is a process which we know will go from bad to worse, until it comes to the worst of all.” — Arthur Schopenhauer In Schopenhauer’s world, you’re not allowed to die quickly, the way people die in movies. You’re…

Posted on: April 17th, 2003 | Leave Comment