Today’s Defendant: Pro-drug Journalists
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: You know who we’re talking about. You’ve read them before. They are the boring progressives who cover the War on Drugs. It’s not just a fancy name. It’s a real war with guns, death and imprisonment. With innocent victims and evil assholes, a slow-burning fight with The Man. (more…)
Posted on: December 12th, 2008
Read more: drugs, fag, gay, journalists, pro-drug, war on drugs
Today’s Defendant: Clay Aiken
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: It has come to our attention that there is an abomination known as “Clay Aiken” who is taking up space in the world that we require for other purposes. We are assured he is a real person—as of yesterday, a real gay person, according to every news source in the galaxy—but it’s hard to believe that such a roiling, reeking stew of foul error could be contained in a single sac of human flesh. His gayness turns out to be the only endurable thing about him.
Posted on: September 25th, 2008
Read more: American Idol, born-again Christian, Christmas, Clay Aiken, gay
Man discovered by apes
When I think of the 1990s, it’s the Ice Man I remember. He was found in 1991, in an Austrian glacier melting from global warming. At first the authorities took him for a murder victim (it was Silence of the Lambs time). They hacked his body out of the slush with a jackhammer, eager for their CSI moment, then started to realize he didn’t fit the profile of a Hannibal Lecter scorecard. His shoes were made of bearskin and deerskin and stuffed with dry grass; his cloak was woven of grass; he carried a flint knife that looks like a folded, dented can lid tied to a stick with twine. It began to dawn on the investigators that this guy was old, (more…)
