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parasite

It’s just past 2:00 pm out here in Venice Beach. The sun is out and a cool breeze is blowing from the Pacific Ocean. Outside my window, surfers are walking towards the beach . . . a young woman glides by on her bicycle in daisy dukes and a tank top. There’s a bum lazing around in the shade of a dumpster. But I can’t enjoy the warm spring weather. I’m quarantined in my apartment, my skin is crawling with tiny parasitic mites that have tunneled into my skin and have turned me into a giant breeding vat. I’ve barely slept in days, and I scratched myself raw. And I owe it all to Los Angeles Mayor Villaraigosa and the fine men and women of the LAPD. Not only did they throw me in jail for covering a political protest, but they gave me scabies, too. (more…)

April 13th, 2012 | Comments (58)

Intelligent Design Award: The Spiny-Headed Worm Parasite "Pomphorhynchus laevis"

Greetings, earthlings. God here. What, you were expectin’ E-frickin-T? Sorry chimps–I mean, chumps–ah, what’s the difference. Chimps-chumps: you limbed types bore Me. As a designer, you humans are not My proudest moment, and that’s putting it lightly. The designs I…

August 13th, 2009 | Comments (7)

Toxoplasma: The Obscure Cat-Shit Parasite That Explains Europe

They get in your mind… They make you do things! – General Owen referring to the Brain Bug in Starship Troopers. This isn’t a movie, kids. The Brain Bug is real. It doesn’t look anything like those big fat brain worms…

August 21st, 2007 | Comments Off on Toxoplasma: The Obscure Cat-Shit Parasite That Explains Europe