Charlie Sheen is in the news a lot lately because he can’t handle his liquor. Or his drugs. Or his porn stars. He’s a problem-partier; you know how there’s always one who freaks out on illicit substances, and cries, or starts a fight, or runs outside naked, or ODs and has to go to the hospital. Even at children’s parties, you’ll notice, one of the kids will have hysterics over too much excitement and cake. Charlie Sheen is one of those, and this allows millions of righteous gits to profess shock, shock I tell you, at the news that there are dedicated hedonists living in Hollywood. How can such a thing be allowed to go on?! Why don’t the producers of the Sheen show, Two and A Half Men, fire him for his own good?! Why isn’t Sheen tackled in the streets by the clean-living citizenry of Los Angeles, and frog-marched off to semi-permanent rehab?! Why don’t the cops arrest him on vice charges, just like they would if it was plain old you ‘n’ me?!
Here’s why.
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