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How Putin's World Cup Victory Over Hapless Britain Is Another Sign Of Anglo-America's Decline

eXiled Online Special UK Correspondent LONDON–As you’ve perhaps completely failed to notice, Russia recently won the prize of hosting the 2018 World Cup finals. Any ignorance about this on your part is understandable since a) you’re likely to be American…

Posted on: December 12th, 2010 | Comments (31)

WikiLeaks Founder Julian Assange Drops Wiki-Bomb On Australia's Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd...Or Does He?

From The eXiled’s Special Australasia Correspondent PERTH, AUSTRALIA–A few hours ago (as of writing this), Julian Assange released his first US Embassy cable regarding Australian politics. It’s still too early for me to make my mind up, but it’s never…

Posted on: December 6th, 2010 | Comments (47)

THE RALLY TO RESTORE VANITY: GENERATION X CELEBRATES ITS HOMERIC STRUGGLE AGAINST LAMENESS

Maybe what’s happening in America today will seem funny to some other culture in some future time—how it happened that in the depths of America’s decline, Liberals, the great opposition to everything mean and ruthless in this culture, couldn’t muster…

Posted on: October 30th, 2010 | Comments (293)

Water Wars: Billionaire Farmers Scheming to Privatize California's Water Are Under Attack

Good news from the trenches of California’s water war: The cabal of billionaire farmers and real estate developers that has been engineering a stealth privatization of the state’s water supply is under attack. Two devastating lawsuits have been filed this summer in an attempt to claw back hundreds of millions (and possibly billions) of dollars in ill-gotten profits from a group of wealthy farmers and to bring one of the world’s largest water banks back under public control.

Posted on: September 15th, 2010 | Comments (6)

Victorville Dispatch: Still Here, Still Proud [and Still Poor]

For months people had been asking me if I’m still living in Victorville and if so, why I stopped writing about it. Some dumbshit even accused me of running back to live the big city life, as if I was…

Posted on: June 5th, 2010 | Comments (33)

Dispatch from the Southern Republican Leadership Conference: Racist Hicks Speak Ebonics, Closet case Homophobes Tell Gay Jokes and Other Memorable Moments...

Story first published on AlterNet Anyone interested in taking the pulse of the GOP base in 2010 has a few options. They can watch Fox News at any hour of any day. They can trot down to their local Tea…

Posted on: April 15th, 2010 | Comments (22)

Special St. Patrick's Day "Economic Meltdown" Report: Ireland--Portrait of a Celtic Tiger as a Spotted Pond Turtle

So it’s that time of the year again. That time of the year when you put on the stupid, oversized green hat, get outrageously drunk, approach a young man/woman/shaved-ape in a bleary haze and ramble on about how your third-cousin’s…

Posted on: March 16th, 2010 | Comments (68)

Colorado Springs: Home of the Original “Obamaville”

I had just moved into a house in the northern suburbs of Colorado Springs, and was getting to know one of my new roommates, a very attractive female in her mid 20’s. This was promising. At some point though, the…

Posted on: March 9th, 2010 | Comments (73)

How Cheap Solar Power Will Save the SUV

This article was first published by AlterNet. HESPERIA, CA—Say hello to the thing that could save our gas-guzzlin’ suburban lifestyle: affordable residential solar power that’s within reach of the most cash-strapped America consumer. This breakthrough is not a result of…

Posted on: January 16th, 2010 | Comments (26)

Slums of Detroit: A Look At The Heart of America's 2nd Most Deserted City

I was in Detroit to visit my girlfriend’s family for Thanksgiving and decided to take a look around. Knowing my tastes, locals told me to head for a burnt-out slum called Highland Park, HP for short, as it’s hands-down the…

Posted on: December 14th, 2009 | Comments (116)

Will Be Jailed For Food: To Poorest Americans Incarceration Is An All-Inclusive Welfare Getaway Opportunity

Article originally published by Vice magazine Prospects have never been good for ex-cons. Even during good economic times they hover between 50 and 75 percent unemployment, and generally take home about nine grand a year. No wonder 70 percent of…

Posted on: December 3rd, 2009 | Comments (41)

Victorville and Surrounding Areas Take The Bronze For Biggest Drop In U.S. Real Estate Prices

Here’s yet another depressing area in which Victorville excels: According to the latest Housing Hall of Misery stats released by the National Association of Realtors, the greater San Bernardino metropolitan area came in 3rd place in the race to the…

Posted on: November 14th, 2009 | Comments (22)

Triumph Of Der Cheese: Berlin Throws Der Sheisse-est Anniversary Party Ever

This story first appeared on Alternet.org It was immediately obvious wandering through Berlin last weekend that the celebrations of the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall were in trouble. In Alexanderplatz subway station, the main eastern transport…

Posted on: November 13th, 2009 | Comments (13)

Mexican Drug War: The Narco-Welfare State . . . Drug Cartels Take Care of Their Soldiers Better Than The Government?

MONTERREY, MEXICO — Another day, another shootout. Forget about the tropical storm that hit the Pacific just now, it’s raining bullets in this biatch. It seems that every day there is another firefight in this or that part of the…

Posted on: October 29th, 2009 | Comments (15)

Exposing the Media Bullshit Behind New York's Supposed Heroin Epidemic

This article was first published in the New York Press. HE WEARS A black hoodie to protect himself from the cold rain. The baby-faced guy is Dominican, probably in his early twenties. He rushes by me at the Graham Avenue…

Posted on: October 21st, 2009 | Comments (44)

Crime Extravaganza in the High Desert: Murders, Drive-bys and Bank Heists

We had ourselves one hell of a crime-filled summer out here in the greater metropolitan area of Victorville. And it’s only getting hotter as the High Desert transitions into the icy nights and gale-force winds of autumn that are starting…

Posted on: October 9th, 2009 | Comments (19)

DESERT DISPATCH: Cash Greases the Sleazy Circle-jerk of Small City Politics

This article was first published by Vice magazine. We do not live in a democracy because America is all about serving the haves and the have-mores: a capitalocracy, where money talks and broke nobodies like you and me walk. Many…

Posted on: October 1st, 2009 | Comments (22)

The King and Thai: Global Recession, Political Warfare and Discount Handjobs

In front of Bangkok’s countless sex fronts—massage parlors, hotels and go-go bars—brown-skinned northern women clad in logo-stamped fast-food styled polo shirts still let out their trademark drawn out hiss. “Maaaaaahhhh-ssaaaaaggggee.” But the deepest global recession since the onset of cheap…

Posted on: September 27th, 2009 | Comments (44)

Pro-growth Shills Pop Up In Victorville To Boost Business Morale

VICTORVILLE, CA—Following the general trend seen all over the country, there’s been a push around these parts to convince people that the recession will soon be a thing of the past. Local papers have been publishing articles with laughable headlines…

Posted on: September 21st, 2009 | Comments (13)

TOWN HALL MEETING IN THE HIGH DESERT: A CIVIL DEBATE AMONG MURDEROUS RETARDS

This article was first published by Vice magazine. It was a hot day, still 98 degrees at 6 PM, as I zoomed through gridlock on my freshly fixed 1979 Kawasaki KZ-400, squeezing between the monster trucks and lifted SUVs clogging…

Posted on: September 10th, 2009 | Comments (55)