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This Is Our “Capricorn One” Moment

This article was first published in Vice. If President Obama’s SOTU address left you feeling vaguely suicidal but you’re not sure why, a quick comparison to the previous Great Depression president’s SOTU address might clear it up and help you to…

Posted on: January 28th, 2011 | Comments (30)

Dead Celebrities 2010: A Good Gloat Spoiled

One of the pleasures of the run up to New Year’s Eve is reading the list of celebrities who’ve died during the past year. You can gloat over the demise of people you always hated who’ve been taking up space…

Posted on: December 31st, 2010 | Comments (42)

Mark Ames and Yasha Levine Respond to Libertarian Blogger Glenn Greenwald

Note: This letter, printed in The Nation on November 24, 2010, is a response to Glenn Greenwald of the libertarian Cato Institute‘s attack on an article we published, titled “TSAstroturf: The Washington Lobbyists and Koch-Funded Libertarians Behind the TSA Scandal.” *** Normally…

Posted on: November 24th, 2010 | Comments (87)

eXiled eXclusive! Advance Copy Of Martin Amis Eulogy For (The Nearly-Departed) Christopher Hitchens

If you’re like us, you’re sick and tired of having to wait around for some loathsome celebrity to die just to read their obituary. Who says we can’t read the obituary before they die, on our own time? This is…

Posted on: September 17th, 2010 | Comments (42)

Christopher Hitchens Update: A Life Spent Blowing Smoke, A Death By Poetic Justice

“C’mon cancer, I dare you to knock this sneer off my face.” Since writing my last piece on Hitchens (“How Christopher Hitchens Robbed Hunter S. Thompson’s Grave”), I’ve finally found a widow smart enough to give Blitcons a massive up-yours….

Posted on: September 16th, 2010 | Comments (32)

Death Of “The Assassin”

I just found out–belatedly–that one of my childhood heroes, Jack Tatum, died of a heart attack a few days ago. When Tatum played for the Oakland Raiders in the 1970s, he was the most intimidating football player of his time–not…

Posted on: August 1st, 2010 | Comments (61)

Great Americans

Notice to readers: We are scrapping the Great Living Americans nominating process due to your miserable failure, and hereby revoke your suggestion privileges. The eXiled has also initiated a review of our policies regarding the solicitation of reader input to…

Posted on: July 4th, 2010 | Comments (84)

Meet The New York Times Critic Who Took 25 Years To “Get” The Fall

This article first appeared in Viceland.com Somehow I missed this review in the NY Times of The Fall’s new album. The article is titled “Mr. Smith Shows His Staying Power,” and it came out a couple of weeks ago. I wish I…

Posted on: June 4th, 2010 | Comments (26)

Facebook Friends: God Died to Get Away From Us

Maybe somebody could explain Facebook to me. I’m on it and I still don’t get it. I hate it without understanding it, like a dog barking at a vacuum cleaner. Facebook’s in the news for violating people’s privacy and selling…

Posted on: May 23rd, 2010 | Comments (67)

Glee as Election Rip-off

Of course it goes without saying that you don’t watch Glee, you couldn’t care less about Glee, you wouldn’t touch Glee with a stick. It’s a teen musical on TV, for Christ’s sake, there could hardly be anything lamer than…

Posted on: April 11th, 2010 | Comments (22)

Toxic Shock: Delayed Reaction to the Oscars

I woke up for the second morning in a row with a vague feeling that something terrible had happened. Then I remembered I watched the Oscars.

Posted on: March 9th, 2010 | Comments (36)

We’re So Doomed: Paul Krugman Briefly Demonstrates Why Liberals Are Stuck In General Custer’s Army

I didn’t plan on posting anything today, but then I made the  mistake of clicking open today’s piece by everyone’s favorite bearded-liberal, Paul Krugman, titled “You’re So Vain.” In just a few short paragraphs, Krugman unintentionally reveals why liberals are…

Posted on: February 27th, 2010 | Comments (48)

ATLAS SHRIEKED: Ayn Rand’s First Love and Mentor Was A Sadistic Serial Killer Who Dismembered Little Girls

This article first appeared in Alternet. There’s something deeply unsettling about living in a country where millions of people froth at the mouth at the idea of giving health care to the tens of millions of Americans who don’t have…

Posted on: February 26th, 2010 | Comments (220)

Separated At CPAC?

Real CPAC closetcases marry nutsack-nosed homophobes God here. Just wanted to pipe in and say I really enjoyed the CPAC conference. Yeah, gotta keep Myself active, you know how it is. Anyway, I figure since everyone at the CPAC conference…

Posted on: February 19th, 2010 | Comments (11)

The Dirt on The Simpsons

It’s fashionable to dismiss The Simpsons, to claim never to watch it anymore because its best days are long gone. It’s been fashionable to do this for ages. I remember when the show was about five years old and staggeringly…

Posted on: January 11th, 2010 | Comments (39)

Anne Applebaum Is A Dingbat

Anne Applebaum is a dingbat. I don’t throw that word “dingbat” around lightly, folks. But I just made the mistake of clicking a link that led me to an Anne Applebaum column, and seriously dude: Anne Applebaum? She’s a dingbat….

Posted on: December 8th, 2009 | Comments (181)

CNN Correspondents Slurp Corporate Ass Juice

A few days back, Jon Stewart had a great segment ridiculing CNN for “playing journalist” by getting tough on an SNL skit for “not getting the facts right,” even though CNN regularly allows health insurance shills to trash healthcare reform…

Posted on: October 16th, 2009 | Comments (10)

What’s The Border Fence Good For? Subsidizing Mexican Scrap Metal Entrepreneurs

Border Barrier Blues: Mexican footpaths on the Arizona side of the fence Last week, the Government Accountability Office released a depressing audit of the US-Mexico border fence we’ve been trying to put up for the past three years. The report caused about…

Posted on: September 24th, 2009 | Comments (27)

The Great Gazoo Returns: “Don’t Scrap The Missile Shield, Dumb-Dumbs!”

The best reason to support President Obama’s decision to dump Bush’s Star Wars program is that the neocons are outraged. They’re wrong about everything: the geopolitical world’s biggest losers, punditry’s equivalent of the Chrysler car design unit. Everything that comes…

Posted on: September 19th, 2009 | Comments (45)

Usain Bolt vs. A Cheetah

It was in the news the other day that a cheetah had achieved the fastest recorded cheetah-time, running 100 meters in just over 6 seconds, which is about 36 mph. What the hell? That’s the fastest recorded cheetah time? Are…

Posted on: September 12th, 2009 | Comments (52)

Afghanistan Syndrome: There Are More Americans Fighting In Afghanistan Today Than The Soviets Deployed At Their Peak

This article first appeared in Alternet. America now has more military personnel in Afghanistan than the Red Army had at the peak of the Soviet invasion and occupation of that country. According to a Congressional Research Service report, as of March…

Posted on: September 3rd, 2009 | Comments (70)

Uncivil War: Cousin Against Cousin

How does your extended family shake out politically? Me, I come from a rabid tribe of right-wingers containing a renegade band of fulminating lefties, plus a couple of pleasant and reasonable moderates nobody listens to. Fortunately we’re all scattered across…

Posted on: August 19th, 2009 | Comments (23)

Living With Cons and Paupers in Canada’s Arctic Waters

I came to extreme poverty late in life, and did very badly at it. I should have done some kind of crime. But what kind? That’s what I couldn’t figure out. What kind of crime can you actually do, if…

Posted on: August 18th, 2009 | Comments (67)

Mad Midget 2: Matthew Vadum Yaps With A Vengeance

Matthew Vadum, the rightwing butterball savaged in The Daily Show last year for race-baiting, doesn’t like me very much. But he ain’t the type who keeps it to himself. Nuh-uh. America’s favorite little waffendwarf read my last post about him,…

Posted on: August 13th, 2009 | Comments (25)

Megan McArdle’s Hypocrisy Exposed: Portrait Of A Libertarian As A Taxpayer-Subsidized Brat

Just when you think you’ve seen so much hypocrisy that nothing can shock you, along comes Megan McArdle. McArdle, who blogs for the Atlantic Monthly, presents herself as a principled libertarian, fiercely denouncing any attempt to provide any sort of government-funded…

Posted on: August 6th, 2009 | Comments (38)