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Toy Story 3: Pixar Bastards Engulf the World in Tears and Snot

Seriously, it beats me how people managed to develop such an appetite for sloppy sentimentality. With each successive hit feature, Pixar tests the limit of that appetite, and finds that there is no limit. Audiences drink up vats of Pixar’s…

Posted on: June 21st, 2010 | Comments (26)

The A-Team: How Dumb Exactly?

It’s pretty simple, really. If you don’t like action films, don’t go see The A-Team. That is, if you complain when a film has explosions, and a lot of shooting and punching and special effects crashes and whatnot, and no…

Posted on: June 14th, 2010 | Comments (26)

Get Him to the Greek, Then Just Say No

We’re desperate for a laugh these days. Life was bad enough already without oil-covered seabirds. So naturally some gits arranged to provide us with oil-covered seabirds, really glopping the oil on them so they’re clearly immobile in the photos except…

Posted on: June 6th, 2010 | Comments (12)

Feckin’ Independent Film

Feck, as the Irish say. Feckin’ independent film, it’s not worth shite. I just watched Ondine, this Neil Jordon thing set in contemporary Ireland about a soulful fisherman played by Colin Farrell, who catches a young woman in his fishing…

Posted on: May 31st, 2010 | Comments (17)

Iron Man 2: Everything Money Can Buy

Iron Man 2 is such a huge hit, it’s clear everybody’s going to see it regardless of critical praise or condemnation. Each of us can—or will soon be able to—fulminate about why it’s good, bad, or meh. We don’t need…

Posted on: May 10th, 2010 | Comments (43)

Toxic Shock: Delayed Reaction to the Oscars

I woke up for the second morning in a row with a vague feeling that something terrible had happened. Then I remembered I watched the Oscars.

Posted on: March 9th, 2010 | Comments (36)

Tim Burton’s Alice: You Don’t Slay?

Burton’s Alice in Wonderland is messed up in some ways—we’ll get to that in a second—but it’s seriously beautiful at intervals that command attention. There’s a war theme in it that’s pursued with surprising gravity. Example: the Mad Hatter (Johnny…

Posted on: March 7th, 2010 | Comments (41)