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Video Games

Street Fighter IV, What's With This Game Crap?

It has taken a long time to write what will amount to about twenty words and a screenshot of Chun Li’s panties (so click all the pages! You never know which page might have one!). But there isn’t much to say about Street Fighter 4, other than…

“Hey, I _________ Street Fighter 2!”

I love shooting fireballs (it’s why I play video games), so I would fill that blank with “HADOUKEN!!!!!!” And I hadouken you, too.

Or, in non-nerd language: Street Fighter 4 is Street Fighter 2.

So what’s all the fuss about? I have no idea. (more…)

Posted on: April 6th, 2009 | Comments (17)

Video Game Review: Rapeplay Offers Roundeyes Virtual Entre Into Sick Japanese Fetish

Amazon, Ebay and Britain all just banned the Japanese rape simulator Rapelay. Politicians and other preening crusading blowhards publicly decried it, thereby popularizing it. After .07 seconds of investigation, I found the game and had it running in an hour….

Posted on: March 26th, 2009 | Comments (31)

Notes on "Fallout 3" From An Unemployed Video Game Reviewer

The gaming groundhog sticks his head from his hole, goes to Blockbuster and sees: F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin (360). Most people associate F.E.A.R. with Alma, the creepy little girl who gets bloody footprints everywhere and sets shit on fire. But…

Posted on: February 12th, 2009 | Comments (8)

Review: Enter the Madness of Solid Snake with "Metal Gear Solid 4"

The new games on shelves this week are: Burnout Paradise for the (PC) – reheated leftovers. Ultimate Shooting Collection (Wii) – Extremely Unimpressive Unleashed! And… My World My Way (DS) – In this Japanese Pouting Sim, you play a little…

Posted on: February 4th, 2009 | Comments (28)

Notes on Cabela's "Trophy Bucks" From A Newly Unemployed Video Game Reviewer

You might wonder why I’m covering Cabela’s Trophy Bucks for the Nintendo Wii, an unheralded game that came out last June. Well, I’ll tell you. I was recently laid off, so I took a trip to the local Blockbuster to…

Posted on: January 22nd, 2009 | Comments (9)

Review: Be a Zombie & Suck Human Brains in "Left 4 Dead"

What is a zombie piñata? It’s when a zombie on a rooftop fires its tongue down at a victim, picks her up and and dangles her above the undead horde, which take turns clawing little pieces of meat candy out…

Posted on: January 13th, 2009 | Comments (64)

Notes by a Professional Video Games Reviewer: Playing Disney's Bolt

Editor’s note: This professional video game reviewer works in a cubicle labyrinth at one of the biggest video game magazines in the world. He is forced to review video games nine hours a day, five days a week. This is…

Posted on: December 4th, 2008 | Comments (18)