The eXile is proud to present a new feature that we hope will entertain and educate you, the knowledge-hungry eXhole. In each issue we’ll introduce you to a new species we’ve nominated for the Schopenhauer Award. We’re going to focus on the less-glamorous critters, the ones you won’t see in a Disney film: the parasites, the venom-dispensers, the eyeless, brainless lumps of flesh which populate the Schopenhauerian nightmare we call Life. (more…)
Posted: October 17th, 2009
This article was first published in the September 6, 2002 issue of The eXile.
Mike was always the hard charger, the sparkplug of his 77th-floor accounting office. He was the one who insisted that everyone stay at their desks on that fatal morning, wryly telling his frightened staff, “This is not gonna turn into one of those 20-minute coffee breaks, people” before he went back to work delicately balancing the books of Enron. (more…)
Posted: September 11th, 2009
Could anything be more frightening than the thought of Russian service becoming as full of gushing smiles, how-can-I-help-yous and have-a-nice-days as the average California juice shop? We at the eXile believe that the final death blow to the Russian soul will come not from a glut of bad action films or rampant criminal capitalism, but rather from customer service hotlines. That’s why, when we heard that the world’s most notorious airline, Aeroflot, started up a special phone number for English-speaking customers who wanted to vent their complaints, we decided to act. Do they have any idea how annoying customer service can be? Now they will.
Posing as Ugly American businessman Sam Weiss, we called Aeroflot’s customer complaint hotline (752-9073) and unloaded a barrage of petty, annoying complaints on the innocent customer service helper. (more…)
Posted: May 22nd, 1997
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This article was first published in The eXile on November 5, 2007 FRESNO, CA — By the time you finish this column you will be able to destroy huge buildings, kill hundreds of people in a few minutes, and strike terror…
When you look back at Obama’s wars, you get a pretty clear idea what went wrong over the last four years…Obama just doesn’t understand his job as war chief of this big crazy tribe…
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