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eXile Classic

(Articles sorted by the date they were added to The eXiled archives, not their original publish dates.)

Another eXile Classic Retrospective: 911 Things To Hate About America

This article was first published in the March 21, 2002 issue of The eXile. Hot on the heels of the the Homeland’s latest impluse-buy publishing hit, 1776 Things to Love About America, the eXile decided to put in its own 911 cents….

Posted on: September 12th, 2009 | Comments (21)

Lord Byron: The eXile's Patron Saint

“Polidori once asked Byron what, besides scribble verses, he could do better than Polidori himself. Byron icily replied: ‘Three things. First, I can hit with a pistol the keyhole of that door. Secondly, I can swim across that river to…

Posted on: November 2nd, 2009 | Comments (12)

David Brooks Blows Bobos: An Exile Classic

This article was first published in The eXile on June 22, 2000. Reading Bobos in Paradise, I realized that it’s not so hard to make money by writing: all you have to do is suck and swallow several million people…

Posted on: October 19th, 2009 | Comments (17)

Exile Classic: Introducing The Schopenhauer Awards

The eXile is proud to present a new feature that we hope will entertain and educate you, the knowledge-hungry eXhole. In each issue we’ll introduce you to a new species we’ve nominated for the Schopenhauer Award. We’re going to focus…

Posted on: October 17th, 2009 | Comments (6)

90 Reasons To Hate The 1990s: An eXile Classic

This article was first published in The eXile on December 2, 2005. Everything about Russia in the 90s was cool. We mean everything. America in the 90s, on the other hand, offers plenty to hate to the spleen-endowed eXhole. Problem…

Posted on: October 14th, 2009 | Comments (44)

Exile Classic (The War Nerd): Nepal: Peace, Love, Massacres

This article was first published in The eXile on November 27, 2002 Ever wanna go to Kathmandu? Not me. I was never a hippie. The hippie types always talked about heading off to Nepal for spiritual enlightenment, but it sounded…

Posted on: October 12th, 2009 | Comments (38)

Exile Classic: How I Won The Afghanistan War

This article was originally published in The eXile on November 29, 2001. Now that we stomped the dust monkeys, our only casualty being that helicopter wheel that the Taliban danced around while firing their AKs in the air, I have…

Posted on: October 9th, 2009 | Comments (1)