While the whole world has been focusing on Prime Minister Putin’s brutal slaughter of the Russian economy, a whole slew of other lesser, but oh so much more graphic, crimes have crept by undetected. We’re here to put a stop to that. The launch of EXILED ONLINE has put the gore sleuths of the infamous Death Porn Bureau back in business. Oh, gone are the good ol’ days. We’re not as well staffed as we once were and can’t have our coffee brought to us by one of our lovely DP girls. In fact, I’m the only one left. I won’t have time to cover all DP happenings that cross my desk, but it doesn’t mean I won’t try.

For this historic relaunch, we’re going with a DP classic that never gets old: the good ol’ vodka-fueled murder spree. And in these hot and humid summer months, there’s a lot of them to go around. As every seasoned DP hand knows, mixing 100-degree weather with 100-proof spirits makes for one hell of a bloody masha cocktail.

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Great idea for a horror movie; the support staff of the Russian Duma goes away for a weekend to a cabin on a lake, only to be murdered one after another by an axe-wielding psychopath in a hockey mask. Low-budget, great action- a sure winner, right? Only problem is, it’s already been done! Since November, 1996, four assistants to Duma deputies have been murdered in Moscow. The most recent to go down was Yevgeny Shklayev, assistant to “Narodovlastiye” deputy Sergei Shashurin. The other three were all, coincidentally, assistants to LDPR deputies: one with two prior rape convictions, another whom police called a member of the Solntsevo gang, and a third whom MUR detectives called a known mafioso from the Smolenskaya gruppirovka. (more…)

It seems that driving in Moscow is getting more and more dangerous all the time. On Sunday a high-speed ring-road collision of a new Mercedes 350 SL and a black tinted-windowed Chevrolet Suburban threatened to disintegrate into an even more deadly encounter between the drivers of the two vehicles. (more…)

It seems that driving in Moscow is getting more and more dangerous all the time. On Sunday a high-speed ring-road collision of a new Mercedes 350 SL and a black tinted-windowed Chevrolet Suburban threatened to disintegrate into an even more deadly encounter between the drivers of the two vehicles. But when Oleg “The Laotian” Markov and Igor “Fishy” Gnyiloukhov emerged from their cars to survey the damage, they found they had much in common. (more…)

Russian prisoners looking to escape may not have to wait much longer for a choice opportunity. The press service of the GenProkuratura announced this week that more than 100 prison guards last year killed themselves, at a rate roughly analogous to that of the prisoners themselves. (more…)

In Honor of Women’s day, Death Porn offers a glimpse of the better sex at work, at play, and at murder.

Soap on a Rope

A kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Romanova, tried to hang a 20 month old baby with a silk robe. She sent the little tyke to the gallows because said tyke’s mommie was banging Mrs. Romanova’s boyfriend.

Femme Fatale: The Miss Militsia Competition heats up during the shoot-the-swarthy-foreigner leg of the competition.

What better way to get your boyfriend’s attention than to execute his latest fling’s baby and send him swinging from the rafters (or in this case, from the low kitchen overhead lamp)? Somehow, the intrepid police managed to barge in and save the child just in time. (more…)

Patrick Hyland Strikes Again!

The publisher and owner of the “Folium” publishing company was knifed to death on January 30th in a dispute over his database on psychological problems. “Folium” was a small company specializing in books on psychology and psychiatry. (more…)