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Oscars

 

So, Elizabeth Taylor’s dead, you might’ve heard! They planted her yesterday. Thank God that’s over.

There are a lot of tributes out there, praising her to the skies. What a fabulous broad, the Last Great Star, and all that guff. It takes a tremendous amount of willful forgetting to consider Elizabeth Taylor “fabulous” any time after 1966. Forty-odd years of aging Liz Taylor looking as purple and swollen as an overripe plum, with a face ever meaner and more imperious, doing terrible films, then terrible TV, wearing hideous bedazzled clothing, hung with rocklike jewels, dating George Hamilton, befriending Michael Jackson, carting around an unhousebroken Maltese dog named Sugar that reportedly shat everywhere, granting endless interviews with slavish interlocutors who’d ask her variations on the question, “What is it that makes you so eternally wonderful?”

She was always happy to answer that one in detail.

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March 25th, 2011 | Comments (32)

eXile Editor Yasha Levine Nominated For "Best Web Article" Award By The Western Publishers Association

See that trophy above, the one that looks like an upside-down bottle of VOSS designer water? That’s what the Western Publishers Association, a trade group for magazine publishers operating out in the wild west, wants to hand eXile Editor Yasha Levine…

March 17th, 2010 | Comments (8)

Toxic Shock: Delayed Reaction to the Oscars

I woke up for the second morning in a row with a vague feeling that something terrible had happened. Then I remembered I watched the Oscars.

March 9th, 2010 | Comments (36)

Why the Academy Awards Are So Great

This will necessarily be a short article. The Academy Awards are so great because they keep us in touch with the ratty old values of our forefathers and foremothers. We no longer know how to churn butter, or why it’s…

February 8th, 2009 | Comments (9)

FILM REVIEW: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and the Audience That Loves This Kind of Crap

Ossified baby, anyone? The Curious Case of Benjamin Button—is it one of the worst American films of 2008, or THE worst American film of 2008? Can’t be the worst, you’ll argue, not while we have Australia to kick around. True….

January 7th, 2009 | Comments (17)