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The Daily Inquisition
Daily Inquisition: David Foster Wallace

Daily Inquisition: David Foster Wallace Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: David Foster Wallace should have been dead to begin with—and it finally hit him, at age 46. That is, 46 years too late. The crime isn’t the suicide, but the…

Posted on: September 15th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Fred Phelps

Daily Inquisition: Fred Phelps Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The Rev. Fred Phelps is a good Calvinist; no more, no less. All that separates him from America’s other hundred million Calvinist heretics is that Phelps has the courage of his…

Posted on: September 12th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Paglia-tory

Today’s Defendant: Camille Paglia Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: We learn with sorrow that Paglia has called this venal bumpkin, Sarah Palin, “the greatest feminist since Madonna.” Paglia’s fall has long concerned the Holy Inquisition, and the time has come…

Posted on: September 11th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Randy Pausch, America’s Favorite Corpse

Today’s Defendant: Randy Pausch, America’s Favorite Corpse Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Professor Pausch’s “Last Lecture” is already forgotten by the Oprah fans who leaked cheap tears at his televised death, this middlebrow false martyr. They ask little of a…

Posted on: September 10th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: The Canonization of Kathryn the Martyr

Today’s Defendant: The Canonization of Kathryn the Martyr Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Today we have the joyous task of elevating the late Kathryn Johnston, of Altanta, Georgia, to sainthood. Saint Kathryn found glory in November 2006, at the age…

Posted on: September 9th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: White Trash

Today’s Defendant: White Trash Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Today we must prune a vile weed spreading over what was once a beautiful continent: white trash. It is with heavy heart we pronounce sentence, for we are survivors of Berkeley,…

Posted on: September 8th, 2008 | Leave Comment