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The Daily Inquisition
Daily Inquisition: Sheriff Joe Arpaio

Today’s Defendent: Joe Arpaio Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Joe Arpaio is a man who enjoys his job. His job is terrorizing Mexicans, always a popular pastime in the southwest.  Arpaio wins 80-90 per cent approval from the aged voters…

Posted on: October 9th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: The American Voter

Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The American election cycle is the perfect complement to America’s vain, self-serving Calvinist religion. American Democracy and American Calvinism both pander to lazy, bipolar drama queens who lack the least capacity for moral introspection. The…

Posted on: October 8th, 2008 | Comments (1)

Daily Inquisition: Jellyfish

Today’s Defendant: Jellyfish Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: God has a grand assortment of flails, whips, crops, knouts, taws, fouets and quirts. In His house are many mansions, and in those mansions are many walk-in closets to overawe the best-equipped…

Posted on: October 7th, 2008 | Comments (1)

Daily Inquisition: Dean Lesher, Compost

Today’s Defendant: Dean Lesher, 1902-1993 Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: We have said that most humans are not worthy of damnation. The life of Dean Lesher is a dramatic demonstration that even outsized American lives leave nothing worthy of Hell,…

Posted on: October 3rd, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: "Folks"

Today’s Defendants: The words “Folks” and “People” Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The epithet “folks” is sinful in itself. It is employed by hucksters of various cults to make their victims feel included. We are included only in the sense…

Posted on: October 2nd, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: This Particular Universe

Today’s Defendant: This Universe Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Thanks to a team of physicists at Cal Tech, the most sacred site in the Anglo world, we know at last the bitter truth: this universe is damned. We live under…

Posted on: October 1st, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Bugs Bunny as Role Model

Today’s Defendant: Bugs Bunny Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: In seeking an example of sterling virtue worthy of canonization, one name clearly shines out above the rest: Bugs Bunny. In this humble rabbit we see the spirit of a god.

Posted on: September 26th, 2008 | Leave Comment