Joe “Strummer”: the hippie behind the mohawk. Today’s Defendant: Joe Strummer Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The damnation of this walking forgery is a matter of choice: for which of his many unpunished crimes should he be damned? For the…
Posted on: September 18th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Today’s Defendant: Cancer Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Reports have reached us of a “breakthrough” in the treatment of Cancer via the extirpation of cancer stem-cells. This must not be. The Economist, the demonic publication gloating of this “breakthrough,” dares…
Posted on: September 16th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Daily Inquisition: David Foster Wallace Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: David Foster Wallace should have been dead to begin with—and it finally hit him, at age 46. That is, 46 years too late. The crime isn’t the suicide, but the…
Posted on: September 15th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Daily Inquisition: Fred Phelps Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The Rev. Fred Phelps is a good Calvinist; no more, no less. All that separates him from America’s other hundred million Calvinist heretics is that Phelps has the courage of his…
Posted on: September 12th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Today’s Defendant: Camille Paglia Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: We learn with sorrow that Paglia has called this venal bumpkin, Sarah Palin, “the greatest feminist since Madonna.” Paglia’s fall has long concerned the Holy Inquisition, and the time has come…
Posted on: September 11th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Today’s Defendant: Randy Pausch, America’s Favorite Corpse Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Professor Pausch’s “Last Lecture” is already forgotten by the Oprah fans who leaked cheap tears at his televised death, this middlebrow false martyr. They ask little of a…
Posted on: September 10th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Today’s Defendant: The Canonization of Kathryn the Martyr Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Today we have the joyous task of elevating the late Kathryn Johnston, of Altanta, Georgia, to sainthood. Saint Kathryn found glory in November 2006, at the age…
Posted on: September 9th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Today’s Defendant: White Trash Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Today we must prune a vile weed spreading over what was once a beautiful continent: white trash. It is with heavy heart we pronounce sentence, for we are survivors of Berkeley,…
Posted on: September 8th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Gen. Earl Van Dorn: Dixie girls thought he was handsome, more proof Dixie was insane. If you ever need to remind yourself that military command isn’t as glamorous as people think, it doesn’t hurt to go over the short,…
NOTE: My links are messed up here, I realize. Found out what’s wrong. I’ll have it fixed in tomorrow’s column. Meantime, here’s the link to the video I’m talking about: I’ve been watching the famous motorcycle-shooting video from Afghanistan,…
Which’ud Ya Rather Have, A BMW… A couple of the comments on yesterday’s blog were about comparing the RPG-7 and the M2 Carl Gustav Recoilless Rifle. It’s the kind of question I used to love when I talked hardware, but…
Ouattara: Whattarya, A Muslim Militant… Things are popping on the comment front.
Strange doings in Ivory Coast. Well, no, actually; what’s going on in Ivory Coast is perfectly standard West African procedure. The strange goings-on are in the way the UN has been handling things and the press has been reporting them.
One of the more interesting questions out of Libya is the tangled problem of who’s who, and who’s on who’s side. I’m starting to get some idea of who’s against Qaddafi—basically the young men, the East, and the tribes loyal to the king he booted out to take power.
Thaddeus Stevens: Weird-looking, huh? That’s because he was a real American. Extinct now. Looks like they’re starting to find the mass graves in Ivory Coast right on schedule, but I’m going to leave the hard war news for the five…
