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All Articles: Page 18
Water Wars: Billionaire Farmers Scheming to Privatize California’s Water Are Under Attack

Good news from the trenches of California’s water war: The cabal of billionaire farmers and real estate developers that has been engineering a stealth privatization of the state’s water supply is under attack. Two devastating lawsuits have been filed this summer in an attempt to claw back hundreds of millions (and possibly billions) of dollars in ill-gotten profits from a group of wealthy farmers and to bring one of the world’s largest water banks back under public control.

Sep 15, 2010 | Comments (6)

THE DEEP DARK SECRET OF DYSLOGIA

No two ways about it, the famous editor was fried. Doing too much phone had finally done in his brain. No big thing normally, but his reader was sick this week, and his famous author had to have an answer,…

Sep 14, 2010 | Comments (9)

How Christopher Hitchens Robbed Hunter S. Thompson’s Grave

Ancient Gonzo Wisdom should be a perfect book: a collection of all the interviews Hunter S. Thompson ever gave. It begins with a talk Thompson gave on ABC News in 1967, shortly after Hell’s Angels was released. It ends with…

Sep 11, 2010 | Comments (93)

Ground Zero Mosque Bizarro: We Do Get Fooled Again

The full version of this article is published on the New York Observer Online. So far, the debate over the proposed Islamic center near Ground Zero has unfolded along predictable lines, with the man at the center of the project,…

Sep 10, 2010 | Comments (21)

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UFOs Made Boring

There’s this woman making the rounds of the talk shows with her new book, UFOs: Generals, Pilots, and Government Officials Go On the Record. She’s an earnest, homely progressive named Leslie Kean with a tan semi-afro, wire-rimmed glasses, and the…

Sep 7, 2010 | Comments (21)

Hell Is Other People On Amazon.Com

When Amazon started printing readers’ book reviews on the net, a window opened briefly on the mental worlds of ordinary people — or, as Harry Dean Stanton so memorably called them, “ordinary fuckin’ people.” Everyone should have a look at…

Sep 6, 2010 | Comments (33)

The Last Puppet Show: An Eyewitness Account Of The Anti-I.M.F Protests In Washington D.C., April, 2000

This article was first published in The eXile on April 27, 2000. The nonviolent teach-in at a church in Colombia Heights just begged to be sneered at. You couldn’t help it. Here in the church basement, hundreds of protest-eager students…

Sep 5, 2010 | Comments (8)

7 Ways the Koch Bros. Benefit from Corporate Welfare

An abridged version of this article was first published in the New York Observer Mainstream America is finally getting to know the billionaire brothers backing the libertarian movement, thanks to a pair of dueling profiles in New York and The…

Sep 4, 2010 | Comments (14)

Jonathan Franzen: “Will Rim Bobos For Book-Of-The-Month Fame”

This review was first published in The eXile on March 21, 2002. Jonathan Franzen’s novel The Corrections, billed as a masterpiece, is a worthless fraud, a hopelessly trite story gaudied up with tedious overwriting. The overwriting is meant to conceal…

Aug 27, 2010 | Comments (42)

How To Annoy Obama’s Russia “Expert”: An Exile Classic Prank Featuring Our Old Nemesis Michael McFaul

This classic “prank” first published in the summer of 1999 ranks as one of the eXile’s least-successful pranks (which paradoxically made it x-tra annoying) on our longtime nemesis Michael McFaul–formerly a top Clinton USAID official in Moscow, Carnegie Endowment and…

Aug 25, 2010 | Comments (9)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the Box-office

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is a financial flop so far, I don’t know why exactly. It’s aimed directly at the prized demographic of Young People Who Still Go to Theaters to See Movies If Anyone Does, In Order to…

Aug 15, 2010 | Comments (31)

Death Of “The Assassin”

I just found out–belatedly–that one of my childhood heroes, Jack Tatum, died of a heart attack a few days ago. When Tatum played for the Oakland Raiders in the 1970s, he was the most intimidating football player of his time–not…

Aug 1, 2010 | Comments (61)

Russia’s Original Gangstas: Meet The Gopniki

This article first appeared in The eXile on June 1, 2007 For months now, our overseas readers have been asking us, “What’s a gopnik?” They have a vague idea of what a gopnik looks like, thanks to our Face Control page:…

Jul 22, 2010 | Comments (28)

The War Nerd Returns: Be Famous Or Be Shot Tryin’

I know, I know, I’ve been AWOL a long time. Shoot me. No, seriously. I wouldn’t object. It’d be great to get shot, as long as it was quick and fatal, not somewhere like the shin, where you scream like…

Jul 19, 2010 | Comments (115)

Predators: Killing the Talkative

I found Predators to be amusing as hell, but then, I was in just the right mood for it. I’d had one of those brain-melting work weeks when you do nothing but talk to people, prepare to talk to people,…

Jul 13, 2010 | Comments (27)

Great Americans

Notice to readers: We are scrapping the Great Living Americans nominating process due to your miserable failure, and hereby revoke your suggestion privileges. The eXiled has also initiated a review of our policies regarding the solicitation of reader input to…

Jul 4, 2010 | Comments (84)

Why Soccer Sucks: The Antidote To World Cup Idiocy

  As an antidote to the current World Cup soccer idiocy, we suggest taking 1 full dose of The eXile’s classic soccer takedown, published during the 1998 World Cup. Here’s a little something to consider for all you folks who’ve…

Jun 24, 2010 | Comments (190)

Knight and Day: Addressing the Tom Cruise Problem

I’ve hated Tom Cruise for twenty-five years now. It’s been one of my favorite traditions, hating Tom Cruise. It involved refusing to go to his biggest blockbusters like Top Gun, then occasionally, foolishly succumbing to the temptation to see just…

Jun 23, 2010 | Comments (46)

Toy Story 3: Pixar Bastards Engulf the World in Tears and Snot

Seriously, it beats me how people managed to develop such an appetite for sloppy sentimentality. With each successive hit feature, Pixar tests the limit of that appetite, and finds that there is no limit. Audiences drink up vats of Pixar’s…

Jun 21, 2010 | Comments (26)

Mark Twain’s Autobiography: A Pre-approval

You might have heard that Mark Twain’s autobiography is going to be published this fall—the real one, not the abridged, expurgated, censored, compromised, cleaned-up, Sunday school superintendent version that’s circulated over the years. 5,000 pages of sheer bile, cussedness, and…

Jun 17, 2010 | Comments (54)

Manhattan’s Welfare  Kings: How Billionaires Turned Farms Into Personal Tax Havens and Petty Cash Machines, Allowing Them to Give Less, While Taking More

This article was first published in the New York Press. Wall Street bankers and retired hedge fund billionaires have been talking about fiscal responsibility and deficit reduction, preparing the masses for austerity measures and cuts in social services—which we are…

Jun 15, 2010 | Comments (34)

The A-Team: How Dumb Exactly?

It’s pretty simple, really. If you don’t like action films, don’t go see The A-Team. That is, if you complain when a film has explosions, and a lot of shooting and punching and special effects crashes and whatnot, and no…

Jun 14, 2010 | Comments (26)

Teagagged! Born In Offshore Drilling, Tea Party Protest Silenced Over Organizers’ Links To 2008 “Drill Here! Drill Now!” Campaign

This article was first published in Alternet. Why are the hoppin’-mad Teabaggers so oddly quiet these days, ever since the BP oil disaster? That’s what Thomas Frank, author of What’s The Matter With Kansas? asked last week in his column, “Laissez-faire…

Jun 13, 2010 | Comments (30)

BREAKING NEWS: Mexican Army Captures Zetas Commander In Charge of Monterrey

This afternoon the bullets were once again flying over my city, as Mexican Army soldiers captured the JEFE DE PLAZA of the Zetas in Monterrey Héctor Luna “El Tori” (short for Hector), along with other collaborators in an operation in…

Jun 9, 2010 | Comments (33)

Get Him to the Greek, Then Just Say No

We’re desperate for a laugh these days. Life was bad enough already without oil-covered seabirds. So naturally some gits arranged to provide us with oil-covered seabirds, really glopping the oil on them so they’re clearly immobile in the photos except…

Jun 6, 2010 | Comments (12)