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The Modern Speakeasy: Buying Smack on the Streets of LA

Drugs may be the major American story of our era, the thing that did more to alter behavior and law, that redistributed income to the poor far more dramatically than any tinkering with tax codes, that jailed more people and…

Jan 5, 2009 | Comments (30)

"Jackrabbit" Bill O'Reilly's Autobiography: A Hot Steaming Pile Of Banality

Reviewed: “A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity” by Bill O’ Reilly (Broadway, 2008). In this slight, self-indulgent memoir, Bill O’Reilly tells us how he got so “bold” and “fresh.” A humble man, he attributes his success to his own innate…

Dec 31, 2008 | Comments (11)

Blast from the Past: eXile Classics From Way Back When

In celebration of the second printing of The eXile book, we’ve decided to start the painfully dull process of merging the vast and greatly disorganized eXile Canon into a complete and definitive collection, which will now officially be referred to…

Dec 24, 2008 | Comments (2)

Mexican Babe Wins "Miss Drug Universe 2008"

Miss Drug Universe 2008: Laura Elena Zúñiga On Monday night, Mexican police nabbed Laura Elena Zúñiga Huizar, a 23-year-old babe named “Miss Sinaloa 2008.” Ms. Zúñiga, who also holds the title of “Queen of Latin America 2008,” was traveling in…

Dec 23, 2008 | Comments (4)


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The eXile Book: 2nd Printing Now On Sale!

Yea, the Lord has heard thine prayers, and He, in His infinite Sadism, has answered thee: back on sale, newly printed up, is the record of The eXile’s early beginnings. It’s The eXile: Sex, Drugs and Libel in the New…

Dec 23, 2008 | Comments (4)

"I am attracted to old women. Does that make me a pervert?"

Today’s question comes from a reader named Tom. Send in your own questions, concerns and worries to Team eXiled is here to help. ***** Dear eXiled, I’m actually totally new to your site. I’ve been having this GILF obsession…

Dec 22, 2008 | Comments (3)

How To Screw Up A War Story: The New York Times At Work

From the moment Georgia launched its invasion against the breakaway region of South Ossetia this past August, sparking a wider war with neighboring Russia, the New York Times‘s news coverage depicted Georgia as an innocent victim of Russia’s neo-imperialist evil….

Dec 22, 2008 | Comments (12)

Photo Essay: Grrrk Riot Grrls Gnne Wlld

Damn! Who knew that Greek women were so gorgeous! While the dudes look like the anti-globalist hippies of any European country fresh from the set of the The Edukators, the chicks are something else: totally and unexpectedly slamming. Sign us…

Dec 19, 2008 | Comments (4)

War Nerd MC’s First Man O’ War O’wardz

Well ain’t that nice: Bono got another award. That’s what will help our world be a better and nicer place, Bono getting another award. What makes this one even more sickening than the rest is the name of the award:…

Dec 18, 2008 | Comments (26)

I'm a budding politician. What drug should I take to seem interested?

Today’s question comes from an anonymous reader with political ambitions. Send in your own questions, concerns and worries to Team eXiled is here to help. ***** Dear eXiled, I’ve been reading with great interest Dr. John Dolan’s and Yasha…

Dec 18, 2008 | Comments (4)

Tag Team Prophet Predictions: Parowan Prophet and Blind Baba Vanga

Last Sunday, an LA Times correspondent sat down with a modern-day prophet hailing from Utah. His name was Leeland Freeborn, but he’s popularly known as the “Parowan Prophet.” He went through to the other side and saw God’s plan when…

Dec 17, 2008 | Comments (11)

America Needs a New Religion: Let's Pick a Pantheon!

Now that services have ended at the First National Church of Crawford, Texas, it’s clear America needs a new religion. Not to nitpick, but it could be argued that rule by the most loudly born-again or, as scholars call it,…

Dec 17, 2008 | Comments (13)

Drugs: Helping our Readers Come Out of the Closet

It seems that after eXile’s 11 long years of celebrating drug use, some of our more skeptical readers still don’t think we’ve been candid enough about our drugs use. Well, it just goes to show that you people aren’t just…

Dec 17, 2008 | Comments (5)

FILM REVIEW: The Day the Earth Stood Still Makes a Few Bucks

Klaatu has a bad day. Number One at the box-office over the weekend, The Day the Earth Stood Still is a great study in all the things that can go wrong with a movie. The plot’s all haywire and the…

Dec 16, 2008 | Comments (2)

Russians Decorate Their Aquariums With Sunken Kursk Replicas

For just 300 rubles or about 10 bucks, Russians now can decorate their aquariums with replicas of the sunken Kursk submarine, in which 118 Russian sailors suffocated to death eight years ago. Note the certificate authenticating the important fact that…

Dec 16, 2008 | Comments (9)

How Do I Get Outta Russia Alive?

Today’s question comes from a reader named Artiom. Send in your own questions, concerns and worries to Team eXiled is here to help. ****** Dear eXiled, I need to sneak out of Russia and travel to Belgium without getting…

Dec 16, 2008 | Comments (4)

Minnesota to Somalia: The Kinko’s Crusade

We’re in trouble now, people. The Somalis of Minneapolis are joining the jihad. That’s according to a story that came out this weekend claiming that young Somali-Americans are flocking to dear old Somalia to join the jihad.

Dec 15, 2008 | Comments (25)

The Day America's Empire Died

(This article was published in the final issue of Radar magazine, which was bought out and shuttered just as the issue went to print in late September.) Tskhinvali, South Ossetia — On the sunny afternoon of August 14, a Russian…

Dec 13, 2008 | Comments (48)

Daily Inquisition: Drug Users Need to Come Out of the Closet

Today’s Defendant: Pro-drug Journalists Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: You know who we’re talking about. You’ve read them before. They are the boring progressives who cover the War on Drugs. It’s not just a fancy name. It’s a real war…

Dec 12, 2008 | Comments (14)

Weekend Tyolka Bonus: The Jailbait Gymnast Collection

We’re not sure if this is a photo shoot for a real gymnastics team or a tryout for some sort of jailbait gymnasts’ fetish site. Whatever it is, we look at these tyolkas and cannot help but think: “With ruble…

Dec 12, 2008 | Comments (11)