The F/A-18 that crashed on to a Korean family’s house in Miramar yesterday had me remembering that movie Donnie Darko. That’s the one where the guy has to decide whether to let a jet engine fall on his bedroom or…
December 10th, 2008 | Comments (29)
The Recession Penis’ Blue Ball Syndrome Today’s question comes from a reader named Tam. Send in your own questions, concerns and worries to ask@exiledonline.com. Team eXiled is here to help. ***** Dear eXiled, What’s the current state of the recession…
December 10th, 2008 | Comments (1)
Last Friday, television network NBC announced that it was firing 500 people, or 3% of the workforce. Then today, on MSN (as in “MSNBC,” affiliated with NBC), an article appeared in which a cocky NBC employee, Stephen Lasher, brags like…
December 10th, 2008 | Comments (8)
Today’s cry for help comes from a reader named Edwin. Send in your own questions, concerns and worries to ask@exiledonline.com. Team eXiled is here to help. ***** Dear eXiled, How do I stop being a virgin? Yours truly, 22 years…
December 9th, 2008 | Comments (31)
Russian companies know that sex sells. They also have a ridiculous amount of hot chicks working in them. Putting tyolka and tyolka together, they had a light bulb marketing moment: “Let us not imprison our talent in offices and simply…
December 9th, 2008 | Comments (15)
Every day this week I’ve gone to the computer and googled the same question: “How many attackers Mumbai?” And I still haven’t gotten anything like a straight answer. Of course the official Indian story is “ten.” Right. Ten guys, kids…
December 9th, 2008 | Comments (30)
December 8th, 2008 | Comments (1)
It’s 3:45 p.m. in Los Angeles. Outside, the sun is shining, people are walking their dogs. I can hear the laughter of children returning from school … Out here, in the land of sunshine, a few footsteps away from Venice,…
December 8th, 2008 | Comments (37)
December 8th, 2008 | Comments (1)
For the next week I’m going to try blogging every day. Things have just been happening too fast for the occasional article. Every day there’s something I want to talk about, and that’s how I’m going to do it. Today’s…
December 8th, 2008 | Comments (28)
Thanks, Manny! Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: De La Hoya’s been an affront to boxing for years, which is hard to do given the easygoing attitude toward human sin that characterizes the sport, but still he’s managed it by being…
December 8th, 2008 | Comments (4)
Worried? We can help. Our technical Web team has recently brought to our attention that our Web site is increasingly being hit with search queries written in the form of a question. Some are anthropological: “What does the people look…
December 8th, 2008 | Comments (1)
This article was first published by AlterNet. If you didn’t know better, you’d get all excited reading about the Army’s new shoulder-fired cannon, the XM-25. It’s being hyped as a “game-changing” weapon that will literally blow the Taliban out of…
Guess I should start this off with Korea, the North hammering that Southern island and the South responding like a big sister dealing with her autistic little brother: “Ow, I wonder what made him hit me in the face that…
I know, I know, I’ve been AWOL a long time. Shoot me. No, seriously. I wouldn’t object. It’d be great to get shot, as long as it was quick and fatal, not somewhere like the shin, where you scream like…
When the fourth of July rolls around, you’re supposed to think of, I don’t know, the Constitution and backyard cookouts like in old Chevy ads—but for me, it’s really Gettysburg we’re celebrating. Greatest battle in American history. But the battle,…
This article was first published in The eXile on February 19, 2004. Haiti popped into the news again, and I decided it was time to tell the whole military history of the place. It’s got to be the most amazing,…
This article was first published in The eXile on November 13, 2002. Reading the leaks from Washington, you can tell we’re gearing up to do something in Yemen. A little regime-change action maybe, a sideshow to the big production number in…
This article first appeared in The eXile on February 21, 2008. FRESNO, CA — OK, let’s talk hardware for once. I love the hardware, always have; the reason I don’t talk much about it is that what we’ve got is…
