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All Articles: Page 89
Pro-growth Shills Pop Up In Victorville To Boost Business Morale

VICTORVILLE, CA—Following the general trend seen all over the country, there’s been a push around these parts to convince people that the recession will soon be a thing of the past. Local papers have been publishing articles with laughable headlines…

Sep 21, 2009 | Comments (13)

The Informant!: It's Good!

If you think our culture is totally, horribly, permanently screwed up, go see The Informant! Because it’s a gallows-humor study of how/why we are totally, horribly, permanently screwed up, so it gives you an opportunity to consider the question. But…

Sep 20, 2009 | Comments (32)

The Great Gazoo Returns: “Don’t Scrap The Missile Shield, Dumb-Dumbs!”

The best reason to support President Obama’s decision to dump Bush’s Star Wars program is that the neocons are outraged. They’re wrong about everything: the geopolitical world’s biggest losers, punditry’s equivalent of the Chrysler car design unit. Everything that comes…

Sep 19, 2009 | Comments (45)

Memphis: A War Zone That Even Iraqi Vets Are Afraid To Come Home To

Memphis—or Memfrica, as we call it—is a city where all that is fucked up about America is taken to the extreme. I recently fled this festering dung heap of a ghetto for Russia, where I’ll be getting educated and properly…

Sep 15, 2009 | Comments (79)

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Usain Bolt vs. A Cheetah

It was in the news the other day that a cheetah had achieved the fastest recorded cheetah-time, running 100 meters in just over 6 seconds, which is about 36 mph. What the hell? That’s the fastest recorded cheetah time? Are…

Sep 12, 2009 | Comments (53)

The Ghosts Of 9/11: An eXile Classic

This article was first published in the September 6, 2002 issue of The eXile. AN OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD EXILE EXCLUSIVE LOOK AT THE UNSUNG GHOST-HEROES OF 9/11! MIKE BERRINGER Mike was always the hard charger, the sparkplug of his 77th-floor accounting office….

Sep 11, 2009 | Comments (17)

TOWN HALL MEETING IN THE HIGH DESERT: A CIVIL DEBATE AMONG MURDEROUS RETARDS

This article was first published by Vice magazine. It was a hot day, still 98 degrees at 6 PM, as I zoomed through gridlock on my freshly fixed 1979 Kawasaki KZ-400, squeezing between the monster trucks and lifted SUVs clogging…

Sep 10, 2009 | Comments (55)