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The Daily Inquisition
Oscar De La Hoya Gets Punished

Thanks, Manny! Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: De La Hoya’s been an affront to boxing for years, which is hard to do given the easygoing attitude toward human sin that characterizes the sport, but still he’s managed it by being…

Posted on: December 8th, 2008 | Comments (4)

Daily Inquisition: Burn Santa Barbara, Burn

Honorable Mention: Blessed are the wind-blown embers. Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Let us start with a fitting quote from yesterday’s LA Times article: A wind-blown ember can be opportunistic, slipping through tiny breaches in the homes. Opportunistic indeed! These…

Posted on: November 19th, 2008 | Comments (4)

Raymond “Chuck” Foster, Imperial Wizard of the KKK

The Accused: Raymond “Chuck” Foster, Imperial Wizard of the KKK Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Normally a sad nitwit like Raymond “Chuck” Foster wouldn’t even be worthy of the attention of the eXiled Inquisition Team, but now that he’s managed…

Posted on: November 14th, 2008 | Comments (1)

Mormon Baptism of the Dead

Mormon Baptismal Font: plenty of room for everybody. Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: We have to admire the sheer chutzpah of the Mormons. Whereas we struggle with faulty humankind, inquisiting people, torturing them, trying to shove them toward the true…

Posted on: November 12th, 2008 | Comments (5)

Daily Inquisition: Mike Williams

Today’s Defendant: Mike Williams, resident of Douglas, Arizona Statement from the Grand Inquisitor: Hard-working people all across Mexico are busting their asses for American consumers. No, we are not talking about the migrant workers cleaning your dishes, picking your grapes…

Posted on: November 4th, 2008 | Comments (2)

Daily Inquisition: Twitter Twats

Today’s Defendant: Twitter Twats Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: When you join Twitter you become able to communicate in short bursts of information with many people from your mobile phone or computer. Your phone becomes a vibrating message-whore, hemorrhaging useless…

Posted on: November 4th, 2008 | Comments Off on Daily Inquisition: Twitter Twats

Daily Inquisition: Kevin the Undecided Veuter

Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: With one day left before the election, CNN chose as its microcosm of America-at-da-crossroads one Kevin Sheen, a whey-faced Irish-American idiot from the Midwest, who coyly offers his quandriness as an “undecided” voter.

Posted on: November 3rd, 2008 | Comments Off on Daily Inquisition: Kevin the Undecided Veuter