Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: On rare occasions, certain people are brave, and must be commended.
Posted on: October 29th, 2008 | Leave Comment
The Daily Inquisition
Today’s Defendant: White America
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Today we write in praise of White America. It’s long overdue, says Frank Rich, the New York Times columnist. He wrote a recent article called “In Defense of White America” in which he argues …
Posted on: October 28th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Today’s Defendant: When Animals Attack!
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: There used to be this tremendously moral show on TV back in the 1990s called When Animals Attack! It was all about how you should respect animals or else suffer the …
Posted on: October 27th, 2008 | Comments (1)
The Damnation of Ashley Todd
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Little need be said here. What does a Texas Republican know about stigmata? What could an Anglo-Saxon understand about self-mutilation?
Posted on: October 24th, 2008 | Leave Comment
The Good Book: You Can’t Win
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: There are few good books. You Can’t Win by Jack Black, a forgotten memoir of the 1920s is a very good book. For that, we honor it.
This Jack Black is …
Posted on: October 23rd, 2008 | Comments (2)
The Canonization of Andrew Lahde
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Though Kenny Rogers will never write a song in his honor, Andrew Lahde is what redemption looks like. Or, more to the point, sounds like. Lahde spent the first part of …
Posted on: October 21st, 2008 | Leave Comment
Today’s Defendant: The Simpsons
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: We might as well stop beating around the bush and have the whole show canonized, if that’s possible. If not, all the characters can be saints, right? Or would it have to be Matt …
Posted on: October 17th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Today’s Defendant: Joe the Plumber
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Oh, this guy’s got to pay.
Joe the Plumber, aka Joe Wurzelbacher—or maybe his name’s actually Samuel and he isn’t a licensed plumber–but regardless he’s an arrogant bald-headed prick who’s become an …
Posted on: October 16th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Today’s Defendant: Christopher Buckley, Again
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Being “the latest conservative/libertarian/whatever to leap onto the Barack Obama bandwagon” has lost Buckley his post at the National Review, the rag his father William F. founded, and he’s been bragging about his …
Posted on: October 15th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Today’s Defendant: Christopher Buckley
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Like his father before him, Buckley has led a life of vilest error from beginning to end: speechwriter for G.H.W. Bush, author of reams of smug crap, wearer of that stupid …
Posted on: October 14th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Cletus, god of the heartland
Today’s Defendant: Evangelical Ministers
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Every few months for untold years now, an evangelical minister crawls out from under a rock in the American heartland and says something transcendently …
Posted on: October 13th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Self-hatred is a dangerous game when practiced by Anglos. The danger is not that they will take self-hatred too far but, on the contrary, that in their capable hands it will quickly warp into coy …
Posted on: October 10th, 2008 | Comments (1)
Today’s Defendent: Joe Arpaio
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Joe Arpaio is a man who enjoys his job. His job is terrorizing Mexicans, always a popular pastime in the southwest. Arpaio wins 80-90 per cent approval from the aged voters of …
Posted on: October 9th, 2008 | Leave Comment
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor:
The American election cycle is the perfect complement to America’s vain, self-serving Calvinist religion. American Democracy and American Calvinism both pander to lazy, bipolar drama queens who lack the least capacity for moral introspection. The Calvinist never considers …
Posted on: October 8th, 2008 | Comments (1)
Today’s Defendant: Jellyfish
Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: God has a grand assortment of flails, whips, crops, knouts, taws, fouets and quirts. In His house are many mansions, and in those mansions are many walk-in closets to overawe the best-equipped Belgravia dominatrix. Let …
Posted on: October 7th, 2008 | Comments (1)
