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All Articles: Page 68
By Gary Brecher
The War Nerd Returns: Be Famous Or Be Shot Tryin'

I know, I know, I’ve been AWOL a long time. Shoot me. No, seriously. I wouldn’t object. It’d be great to get shot, as long as it was quick and fatal, not somewhere like the shin, where you scream like…

Jul 19, 2010 | Comments (115)

By Eileen Jones
Predators: Killing the Talkative

I found Predators to be amusing as hell, but then, I was in just the right mood for it. I’d had one of those brain-melting work weeks when you do nothing but talk to people, prepare to talk to people,…

Jul 13, 2010 | Comments (27)

By Eileen Jones
Great Americans

Notice to readers: We are scrapping the Great Living Americans nominating process due to your miserable failure, and hereby revoke your suggestion privileges. The eXiled has also initiated a review of our policies regarding the solicitation of reader input to…

Jul 4, 2010 | Comments (84)

By Genghis Goldberg
Why Soccer Sucks: The Antidote To World Cup Idiocy

  As an antidote to the current World Cup soccer idiocy, we suggest taking 1 full dose of The eXile’s classic soccer takedown, published during the 1998 World Cup. Here’s a little something to consider for all you folks who’ve…

Jun 24, 2010 | Comments (200)

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By Eileen Jones
Knight and Day: Addressing the Tom Cruise Problem

I’ve hated Tom Cruise for twenty-five years now. It’s been one of my favorite traditions, hating Tom Cruise. It involved refusing to go to his biggest blockbusters like Top Gun, then occasionally, foolishly succumbing to the temptation to see just…

Jun 23, 2010 | Comments (48)

By Eileen Jones
Toy Story 3: Pixar Bastards Engulf the World in Tears and Snot

Seriously, it beats me how people managed to develop such an appetite for sloppy sentimentality. With each successive hit feature, Pixar tests the limit of that appetite, and finds that there is no limit. Audiences drink up vats of Pixar’s…

Jun 21, 2010 | Comments (26)

By Eileen Jones
Mark Twain’s Autobiography: A Pre-approval

You might have heard that Mark Twain’s autobiography is going to be published this fall—the real one, not the abridged, expurgated, censored, compromised, cleaned-up, Sunday school superintendent version that’s circulated over the years. 5,000 pages of sheer bile, cussedness, and…

Jun 17, 2010 | Comments (54)