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September 2008

Experimental film called The Debate

Don’t know if you were watching TV last Friday evening, but if you were, you noticed that all the network channels were running this bizarre experimental film called The Debate. It featured a 90-minute stand-off between two men of opposed characteristics—black vs. white, young vs. old, tall vs. short, handsome vs. hideous, and so on. Andy Warhol used to make this kind of film; one of his, called Sleep, is an eight-hour shot of a guy snoozing.

September 29th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Bugs Bunny as Role Model

Today’s Defendant: Bugs Bunny Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: In seeking an example of sterling virtue worthy of canonization, one name clearly shines out above the rest: Bugs Bunny. In this humble rabbit we see the spirit of a god.

September 26th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Is Cindy McCain Still A Junkie?

What is it with Cindy McCain’s eyes? Everyone’s noticed that there’s something odd about them. Even Katie Couric was caught in an unplugged moment omigodding about how weirded-out she was by Cindy McCain’s mysterious, odd-looking eyes: “She looks like a…

September 25th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Clay Aiken's Gay But Still Horrible

Today’s Defendant: Clay Aiken Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: It has come to our attention that there is an abomination known as “Clay Aiken” who is taking up space in the world that we require for other purposes. We are…

September 25th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Blessed Are the Mob

Today’s Defendant: Indian Mob Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: “CEO murdered by mob of sacked Indian workers” runs the newsflash going around the internet, and we regard it in the spirit of gentle approval. Beatifications all around, perhaps?

September 24th, 2008 | Leave Comment


Today’s Defendant: Pixar Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Our eyes are not dazzled by your state-of-the-art animation; our hearts are not softened by your supposedly wholesome family fare. Disney pulled the same shtick in order to spread the same insidious…

September 23rd, 2008 | Leave Comment

War Nerd Islamablog: Day 3

This is my third entry on the big blast at the Islamabad Marriott. God, the name says it all: “Islamabad Marriott.” Talk about two words that don’t fit together very well. The town just wasn’t big enough for “Islamabad” and…

September 22nd, 2008 | Leave Comment

DAILY INQUISITION: Mickey Rourke at the Stake

Today’s Defendant: Mickey Rourke Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The heretic in question is just about to make a major comeback in The Wrestler, a new movie by that tick Darren Aronofsky (pi, The Fountain) which is currently wowing everybody…

September 22nd, 2008 | Leave Comment

FILM REVIEW: Ghost Town, Or “I See Dead People and Learn How to Hug Them”

Gervais confronts his mortality in laxative form Jeez, it just doesn’t pay to get your hopes up, you know? You see a preview for a movie about a guy who hates people and then sees ghosts and hates them too,…

September 22nd, 2008 | Comments (1)

War Nerd Islamablog: Day 2

Here’s the deal: I’m going to blog this Islamabad blast every day for a while, try to talk honestly about how to sift through the crap to try to figure out what’s really going on. It should be a good…

September 21st, 2008 | Leave Comment

The Islamabad Marriott: Rooms Available

BREAKING WARNEWS! You’ve probably heard by now that Al Qaeda just zapped the Marriott Hotel in Islamabad. A truck blew up while security was going over it with sniffer dogs. At least the dogs died happy, I suppose. Those sniffer…

September 20th, 2008 | Comments (1)

John Mc-AIG-n: Insurance Industry Bitch

John McCain is making a big show of criticizing the government “bailout” of insurance giant AIG. But it turns out that AIG, which received $85 billion in US tax dollars earlier this week, is one of the largest donors to…

September 19th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: The Animals

Meerkat: Heresy; Elephant Shrew: Orthodox Daily Inquisition: The Animals Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: A child believes in many creatures unworthy of its faith, like the Komodo Dragon, revealed on mature inspection to be a mere hypertrophied alligator lizard which…

September 19th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Faces Of Death: Russia's Duma Deputy Hunks

No this isn’t from the mugshot section of Smoking Gun. These are official portraits of the men in the Russian Duma, which is what they call the parliament around those parts. Looking at these caring faces, you just know that…

September 19th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Joe Strummer

Joe “Strummer”: the hippie behind the mohawk. Today’s Defendant: Joe Strummer Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The damnation of this walking forgery is a matter of choice: for which of his many unpunished crimes should he be damned? For the…

September 18th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Russian Hate Crime: Brutal Beheading Caught on Tape, Case Solved?

Last summer, I grossed out a bunch of my guests at a small party I had at my apartment. We watched a gruesome beheading video that was posted on the Internet that day. The video showed two masked Russian skinheads…

September 18th, 2008 | Leave Comment

These photographs, dating back to early June, are from a graduation ceremony for Moscow’s MVD Academy. These totalitarian tyolkas almost make you wish that Russia would come and occupy your country (i.e. our country). Serve up some of that sovereign…

September 18th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Fear and Impoverishment in Moscow

Last weekend, I was at an opening of a new Tibetan restaurant by the Red Square with a bunch of American expats. The new Cold War never came up, but that was because nobody wanted to ruin a good party…

September 16th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Cancer

Today’s Defendant: Cancer Statement of the Grand Inquisitor:  Reports have reached us of a “breakthrough” in the treatment of Cancer via the extirpation of cancer stem-cells. This must not be. The Economist, the demonic publication gloating of this “breakthrough,” dares…

September 16th, 2008 | Leave Comment

Say Hello To Sarah-geddon

Last week, Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin declared that she was willing to go to war against Russia on behalf of Georgia. Palin wasn’t talking about launching World War III on behalf of our Georgia–you know, the adorable Southern…

September 16th, 2008 | Leave Comment