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Mark Ames

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If I was an oligarch and I wanted to buy my spoiled little shit of a son a toy that would make him laugh and laugh for hours, I’d buy him a middle-class American. Because Americans are funny the way all dupes and chumps are funny. You can trick today’s Americans time and again, and they always fall for it. And when you trick them, they stomp around dramatically and make a lot of blustery noise about “the people” who allegedly “aren’t going to stand much more of this” because “our founding forefathers bla bla bla” and of course the ol’ “you can fool some of the people some of the time, buttcha can’t fool bla bla bla…” Basically, if you’ve seen your Elmer Fudd, then you’ve seen your American sucker in all of his cartoon comic-foil glory: a sentimental buffoon, a harmless chump whose guns don’t fool anyone but himself. (more…)

Posted: June 12th, 2009

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Is Larry Summers taking kickbacks from the banks he’s bailing out?

Last month, a little-known company where Summers served on the board of directors received a $42 million investment from a group of investors, including three banks that Summers, Obama’s effective “economy czar,” has been doling out billions in bailout money to: Goldman Sachs, Citigroup, and Morgan Stanley. The banks invested into the small startup company, Revolution Money, right at the time when Summers was administering the “stress test” to these same banks. (more…)

Posted: May 30th, 2009

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Last week, Obama moved another step closer to creating the ultimate retro-70s Middelbrow-ocracy when he appointed a loathsome overachieving hamburger-head named Cass Sunstein to a little-known but highly-powerful government post: director of the Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs—otherwise known as the “Regulation Czar.” Before the financial crash, we wouldn’t have thought much of how powerful a post like this is, and how it can shape our lives and help decide whether we have retirement money, a home mortgage, and a plutocracy-led society.

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Posted: May 22nd, 2009

In this week’s radio segment, Mark Ames explains how Georgia’s autocratic leader bashes democracy activist skulls with one hand, and writes out checks to the new Democratic Party power-elite with the other…and how Fred Hiatt’s continuing battle with pork tapeworms eating his brain is hurting the Washington Post.  (more…)

Posted: May 13th, 2009

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(This article first appeared in TheNation.com on May 11, 2009.)

The May 7 edition of the Washington Post features one of the most poorly timed op-ed commentaries in recent memory. Carrying the harmless headline “A Friend to Georgia and Russia,” it features the soothing bipartisan co-byline of Democratic Senator John Kerry and Republican Congressman David Dreier. The editorial argues that the best way to “reset” relations with Russia while at the same time support Georgia’s “fledgling” democracy would be–are you ready?–to enact a free trade agreement with Georgia. (more…)

Posted: May 12th, 2009

In the newest radio installment, Mark Ames reads to listeners a most unusual and fascinating letter from a member of the “generation of retirees” to their grandchildren. It’s an eye-opener!  This segment was aired on Los Angeles’ KPFK radio on May 5, 2009, on the show “Four O’Clock Tuesdays With Gustavo Arellano.”

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Posted: May 6th, 2009

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An Eyewitness Account of the “Kerfuffle at Golden Pond Lane,” March 21, 2009

(This post was published on Playboy.com)

I was there when the so-called “Class War” went down. I saw the whole thing happen, on a cul-de-sac called Golden Pond Lane. Until now, no one has told the real story of what went on that warm spring day in Connecticut. So I will. Before I take you to that epic battle, bear with me for a brief digression–I promise it will pay off later.

I was born and raised a few miles away from what was known as “The Serial Murderer Capital of the World”–Santa Cruz, California circa early-mid-1970s. At one point there were three major serial murderers working the same beach town’s turf at once. Which probably explains why I was an inveterate bedwetter until I was about five.

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Posted: April 28th, 2009

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Mark Ames’ book Going Postal, a searing expose on America’s rage massacres in schools and workplaces, has just been released in Italy by Isbn Edizioni, a cutting-edge independent publisher based in Milano. The Italian edition of Going Postal is titled Social Killer: La Rivolta dei Nuovi Schiavi. You can check out Isbn’s site here, and order the Italian-language edition of Going Postal here.

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Posted: April 24th, 2009

Listen to Ames talking about the cocaine-fueled comedy that is CNBC’s Lawrence Kudlow. This segment was aired on Los Angeles’ KPFK radio on April 21, 2008, on the show “Four O’Clock Tuesdays With Gustavo Arellano.”

Why does CNBC host Lawrence Kudlow still have a job? Not only is Kudlow a corrupt goon who has called everything 180 degrees wrong over and over, but he pretty much set the standard for Wall Street’s “most humiliating failure” back in the mid-1990s when he was fired from Bear Stears–the last smart move Bear Stearns ever made. Why was Kudlow fired, you axe? Well, it wasn’t because he called the economy wrong at every turn–hell no! Being wrong is a basic requirement for pundits and Wall Street analysts, you just have to be aggressively wrong and not worry about it, something Kudlow excels at. No, Lawrence Kudlow’s career problems in the 1990s stemmed from the fact that he couldn’t handle his drugs. Cocaine, to be exact. (more…)

Posted: April 22nd, 2009

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(This post was published on Playboy.com)

There’s word out this week that the governor of Texas, Rick Perry, has thrown his support behind a bill that would declare sovereignty for the state of Texas. The bill is called HCR 50, and it’s being pushed on Drudge as a new front in the hillbillies’ revolution against president Obama. Promises, promises. 

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Posted: April 17th, 2009

Ames talks about the Texas governor’s threats to declare “sovereignty” as reported today on Drudge. This segment was aired on Los Angeles’ KPFK radio today, April 14, 2008, on the show “Four O’Clock Tuesdays With Gustavo Arellano.” (more…)

Posted: April 14th, 2009

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(This article was first published last week on Playboy.com)

America is now in a state of bloodlust, following the shocking realization that there are bad people at the top of our economic food chain. We knew there were some bad apples out there, but AIG’s $450 million bonus swindle simply defies everything we assumed about the American character, particularly the character of our best and brightest, our All-Star Success Stories.

It was one thing to bail out their banks and insurance companies—at least our tax dollars weren’t being wired directly to specific people with names and faces, but rather to “institutions,” which makes it a little more palatable. But now, with the AIG scandal, there are real people stuffing their pockets with money looted from us. It suggests that they have no conscience. That they learned nothing. That, in fact, they didn’t give a fuck about our bailout on any emotional grounds, except as it presented a new feeding opportunity. Despite how it works in the movies, we haven’t been brought closer together—we, the common folk taxpayers, and they, the super-wealthy villains we bailed out. And this is what’s so enraging and humiliating: We were denied that cinematic transformation of character that Americans have been brainwashed to expect from our billionaire CEOs with their hardened hearts-of-gold—think Oscar Schindler’s climactic anti-greed speech, or Mister Magoo throwing coins out the window in the cartoon version of A Christmas Carol.

The shock we’re feeling today is like the shock and rage a wife feels after her husband is arrested on 152 counts of child molestation spanning three decades. How could we not know, when it’s been going on every day, every year, right in front of us?
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Posted: March 31st, 2009

I’ve heard from more than a few people who get all hot under the collar when I say that the whole class war against America started under Reagan. This graph pretty much says it all: it was Reagan who saw to it that America defeated China, Russia and all the other repressive regimes… to make us the world’s number one Gulag Nation. Why did he lock up so many Americans, and keep them there? Put it this way: how can you get away with looting the middle-class and working-class wealth without an uprising? How can you keep people down when you arrange it so that the CEOs’ pay goes from 30 times their workers’ salary when Reagan took over, to over 500 times their salaries? Here’s how you make sure they shut up or else:

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Posted: March 23rd, 2009

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(Updated below)

Who is this combover shithead poking his head nervously around the corner? Why, it’s none other than Joseph Cassano, who should be high up on everyone’s list for a little game hunting this weekend. Joseph Cassano, the thief who created AIG’s Financial Products division–that’s the division that racked up $500 billion in losses. Yep, that’s half a trillion dollars–enough to provide health care for tens of millions of Americans, all gone–poof! All because of this fuckhead named Joseph Cassano. He’s doing fine though, thanks for asking–he’s got all the health care he needs and then some, thanks to the fact that while he bequeathed to us a half trillion dollar bill, he pocked for himself about $315 million. Plus after he was forced out of AIG last year, he awarded himself a $1 million monthly pension. That’s $1 million per month. Meanwhile, we’ve dropped $170 billion into AIG and that’s just so far, to clean up his mess… and we had to cough up another $450 million the other day to pay big fat bonuses to Cassano’s former colleagues in his Financial Products division.  They must love Joe there!

But as awful as this sounds, at least there’s a silver lining to this story. A silver lining smeared with blood and cum, that is: yes, Joseph Cassano may soon be gagging on a heapin’ helpin’ o’ prison cock. (more…)

Posted: March 20th, 2009

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Since news broke about the obscene million-dollar bonuses that taxpayers are paying to the very same AIG Financial Products traders who destroyed millions of lives, decent hard-working Americans have expressed their First Amendment rights and flooded AIG Financial’s offices with so many death threats and angry calls, emails and letters that they’re shitting in their pants and hiring security to protect them. But don’t be put off by this “security”: they’re just a bunch of glorified rent-a-cops, you’ll be able to get past them to express yourself if you put your mind to it. But how can you, John Q. Public, show AIG’s multimillionaires exactly how you feel? (more…)

Posted: March 17th, 2009

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Mega-Statue Of Chicken Plutocrat Lonnie “Bo” Pilgrim

The killing spree in Alabama fits a well-worn pattern of workplace-driven massacres that we’ve seen since the “going postal” phenomenon exploded in the middle of the Reagan revolution.

In spite of the fact that these killings have gone on unabated for over 20 years, most of the country doesn’t want to know why they’re happening — least of all the people in power.

If we study the motive for Michael McLendon’s shooting rampage Tuesday, which left 11 bodies across three towns in southern Alabama, and we look at the bizarre way that the causes of the shooting are being hushed up, you begin to understand why this uniquely-Reaganomics-inspired crime started in the United States, and continues to plague us. (more…)

Posted: March 13th, 2009

APTOPIX South Alabama Shootings

Whenever I hear about a rampage massacre like the one that just took place in southern Alabama a few hours ago, so far leaving 11 dead and untold wounded (casualty numbers seem to tick up every hour), the first thing I look for is how the company treated the shooter or the workforce as a whole: did they recently fire him in the usual callous manner that companies do it these days, leaving him desperate and devastated? Has the company been following the typical post-Reagan management model in which workers are squeezed with endless downsizings, slashed benefits, and more time at the job for less pay, all in order to fatten the filthy-rich executives’ already-obscene bonuses?

The answer in the case of today’s Alabama shootings already appears to be yes.

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Posted: March 11th, 2009

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Headlines today are filled with stories about how a slaughtered goat was found in front of New York Assemblyman Greg Ball’s house, with a sign around its neck claiming it was the work of the MS-13 gang, a vicious Central American gang whose tentacles have spread throughout America. Ball’s political career was made on bashing illegal immigrants and playing up the Hispanic gang threat to his district’s overwhelmingly Republican constituency. But the more you look at this story, the more it looks like Ball staged the stunt, killing the goat then calling the police and media to say he’s under threat in order to boost his political ambitions. (more…)

Posted: March 7th, 2009

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“So many corrupt bankers, so few lethal-injection tables.”

How many times have you heard that lately? Yes, it’s a common complaint in America today. In these difficult economic times, we have a lot of justice to mete out to the people who have destroyed our lives. But we don’t have much money to do it, and we don’t want to contribute to global warming either. How to solve all three problems? How can we possibly put to death all of the bankers and their minions without hurting your wallets or GAIA’s delicate balance? The answer is “Made in China”: a fleet of new mobile execution vans that can make America’s looming Mass Arrests efficient, clean, and cheap. Let’s face it: why should we taxpayers pay to keep these criminals alive in leisurely prisons with TV sets and “prisoners’ rights” and endless costly court appeals? What about our rights, huh? What about us, the victims? It seems like the so-called justice system is more about the criminal’s rights than the victim’s! We want the bankers and their promoters tried, sentenced, and put to death in as speedy, clean and cost-effective a manner as possible. And now, after years of these same plutocrats shipping American jobs to China, we can finally say that a “Made In China” death chamber that puts one banker to death while driving at top speed to the next banker’s office is something worth buying. It’s cheap, reliable, and it’s funny as fuck. (more…)

Posted: March 6th, 2009

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CNBC’s Jim Cramer has positioned himself as yet another champion of the people against the evil government. A couple of days ago, the method-actor/ CNBC host of “Mad Money” stirred up a hullabaloo when he pretended to be angry and attacked the Obama government’s economic program as “the greatest wealth destruction I’ve seen by a president.”

Right. Let’s leave aside for a moment the fact that Cramer is a giant welfare queen whose salary is subsidized by the $139 billion taxpayer dollars to his parent company, General Electric. For now, let’s just try and answer this simple question:  “Who destroys your wealth more: Obama or Jim Cramer?” (more…)

Posted: March 5th, 2009