What is it with Cindy McCain’s eyes? Everyone’s noticed that there’s something odd about them. Even Katie Couric was caught in an unplugged moment omigodding about how weirded-out she was by Cindy McCain’s mysterious, odd-looking eyes: “She looks like a…

Today’s Defendant: Clay Aiken Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: It has come to our attention that there is an abomination known as “Clay Aiken” who is taking up space in the world that we require for other purposes. We are…

Today’s Defendant: Indian Mob Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: “CEO murdered by mob of sacked Indian workers” runs the newsflash going around the internet, and we regard it in the spirit of gentle approval. Beatifications all around, perhaps?

Today’s Defendant: Pixar Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Our eyes are not dazzled by your state-of-the-art animation; our hearts are not softened by your supposedly wholesome family fare. Disney pulled the same shtick in order to spread the same insidious…

This is my third entry on the big blast at the Islamabad Marriott. God, the name says it all: “Islamabad Marriott.” Talk about two words that don’t fit together very well. The town just wasn’t big enough for “Islamabad” and…

Today’s Defendant: Mickey Rourke Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The heretic in question is just about to make a major comeback in The Wrestler, a new movie by that tick Darren Aronofsky (pi, The Fountain) which is currently wowing everybody…

Gervais confronts his mortality in laxative form Jeez, it just doesn’t pay to get your hopes up, you know? You see a preview for a movie about a guy who hates people and then sees ghosts and hates them too,…