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Daily Inquisition: "Folks"

Today’s Defendants: The words “Folks” and “People” Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The epithet “folks” is sinful in itself. It is employed by hucksters of various cults to make their victims feel included. We are included only in the sense…

Oct 2, 2008 | Leave Comment

Tyolka Thursdays: Russian Girls on Vacation

The Russian vacation season has finally come to an end, but for fans of Tyolka Thursdays, this means the real fun has just begun. It is a little known fact that in Russia, autumn is the official start of the…

Oct 2, 2008 | Leave Comment

Kremlin Whores: How McCain's Staff Served Putin's Empire

Size doesn’t matter: McCain sells Montenegro out to Putin In his acceptance speech at the Republican convention, John McCain lashed out at Putin and the Russian oligarchs, who, “rich with oil wealth and corrupt with power…[are] reassembling the old Russian…

Oct 1, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: This Particular Universe

Today’s Defendant: This Universe Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Thanks to a team of physicists at Cal Tech, the most sacred site in the Anglo world, we know at last the bitter truth: this universe is damned. We live under…

Oct 1, 2008 | Leave Comment

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TV REVIEW: The Debate vs. The Ghost Shows

Experimental film called The Debate Don’t know if you were watching TV last Friday evening, but if you were, you noticed that all the network channels were running this bizarre experimental film called The Debate. It featured a 90-minute stand-off…

Sep 29, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Bugs Bunny as Role Model

Today’s Defendant: Bugs Bunny Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: In seeking an example of sterling virtue worthy of canonization, one name clearly shines out above the rest: Bugs Bunny. In this humble rabbit we see the spirit of a god.

Sep 26, 2008 | Leave Comment

Is Cindy McCain Still A Junkie?

What is it with Cindy McCain’s eyes? Everyone’s noticed that there’s something odd about them. Even Katie Couric was caught in an unplugged moment omigodding about how weirded-out she was by Cindy McCain’s mysterious, odd-looking eyes: “She looks like a…

Sep 25, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Clay Aiken's Gay But Still Horrible

Today’s Defendant: Clay Aiken Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: It has come to our attention that there is an abomination known as “Clay Aiken” who is taking up space in the world that we require for other purposes. We are…

Sep 25, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Blessed Are the Mob

Today’s Defendant: Indian Mob Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: “CEO murdered by mob of sacked Indian workers” runs the newsflash going around the internet, and we regard it in the spirit of gentle approval. Beatifications all around, perhaps?

Sep 24, 2008 | Leave Comment

DAILY INQUISITION: Pixar Porn

Today’s Defendant: Pixar Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: Our eyes are not dazzled by your state-of-the-art animation; our hearts are not softened by your supposedly wholesome family fare. Disney pulled the same shtick in order to spread the same insidious…

Sep 23, 2008 | Leave Comment

War Nerd Islamablog: Day 3

This is my third entry on the big blast at the Islamabad Marriott. God, the name says it all: “Islamabad Marriott.” Talk about two words that don’t fit together very well. The town just wasn’t big enough for “Islamabad” and…

Sep 22, 2008 | Leave Comment

DAILY INQUISITION: Mickey Rourke at the Stake

Today’s Defendant: Mickey Rourke Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The heretic in question is just about to make a major comeback in The Wrestler, a new movie by that tick Darren Aronofsky (pi, The Fountain) which is currently wowing everybody…

Sep 22, 2008 | Leave Comment

FILM REVIEW: Ghost Town, Or “I See Dead People and Learn How to Hug Them”

Gervais confronts his mortality in laxative form Jeez, it just doesn’t pay to get your hopes up, you know? You see a preview for a movie about a guy who hates people and then sees ghosts and hates them too,…

Sep 22, 2008 | Comments (1)

War Nerd Islamablog: Day 2

Here’s the deal: I’m going to blog this Islamabad blast every day for a while, try to talk honestly about how to sift through the crap to try to figure out what’s really going on. It should be a good…

Sep 21, 2008 | Leave Comment

The Islamabad Marriott: Rooms Available

BREAKING WARNEWS! You’ve probably heard by now that Al Qaeda just zapped the Marriott Hotel in Islamabad. A truck blew up while security was going over it with sniffer dogs. At least the dogs died happy, I suppose. Those sniffer…

Sep 20, 2008 | Comments (1)

John Mc-AIG-n: Insurance Industry Bitch

John McCain is making a big show of criticizing the government “bailout” of insurance giant AIG. But it turns out that AIG, which received $85 billion in US tax dollars earlier this week, is one of the largest donors to…

Sep 19, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: The Animals

Meerkat: Heresy; Elephant Shrew: Orthodox Daily Inquisition: The Animals Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: A child believes in many creatures unworthy of its faith, like the Komodo Dragon, revealed on mature inspection to be a mere hypertrophied alligator lizard which…

Sep 19, 2008 | Leave Comment

Faces Of Death: Russia's Duma Deputy Hunks

No this isn’t from the mugshot section of Smoking Gun. These are official portraits of the men in the Russian Duma, which is what they call the parliament around those parts. Looking at these caring faces, you just know that…

Sep 19, 2008 | Leave Comment

Daily Inquisition: Joe Strummer

Joe “Strummer”: the hippie behind the mohawk. Today’s Defendant: Joe Strummer Statement of the Grand Inquisitor: The damnation of this walking forgery is a matter of choice: for which of his many unpunished crimes should he be damned? For the…

Sep 18, 2008 | Leave Comment

Russian Hate Crime: Brutal Beheading Caught on Tape, Case Solved?

Last summer, I grossed out a bunch of my guests at a small party I had at my apartment. We watched a gruesome beheading video that was posted on the Internet that day. The video showed two masked Russian skinheads…

Sep 18, 2008 | Leave Comment