I told you so. Told you nothing would happen with India and Pakistan. Told you the whole idea of “Hindu militants” was laughable. But Christian militants — that’s a whole ‘nuther thing. Christians are stone killers. You put a…

Will India and Pakistan ever finish the cat-fight and get on with a real war? “We live in hope,” like my grandma used to say — but don’t hold your breath. Listening to the Indian and Paki generals shaking their…

My first fan letter from the eXile was an email from some guy in Michigan who wanted the latest news on Tom Clancy. Yeah sure, that’s why I’m here — to help you kiss that rich fat coward’s ass. For…

Ever seen a Monster Truck show? They’re big in Fresno. The thrill is watching civilian cars get crushed by giant 4×4′s. But it’s nothing compared to the monster truck show the Israelis have put on in the last few weeks….

Ames asked me to write a column on how all the wars are going, kind of a war reviewer. And I said yes on one condition, that you people don’t send me emails telling me liking war is a sign…

This is an eXile classic, first published in The eXile on March 6, 2002. I‘m a harasser. Put the cuffs on me; I harassed the working class. And it wasn’t even fun. It’s not like I groped some factory girl…

Made in Yugoslavia By Vladimir Jokanovic Translated by Zeljana Zovko and Cathy Porter Picador, 2001 Ah, we’re already nostalgic for the little wars of the nineties, especially the colorful Balkan popups, with their quaint rituals and goofy flags. Remember those…

Her name was Wana. My first and only slope. I boned her last night. I done-did her right here in Kentucky, in the heart of the Bible Belt. Wana didn’t say, “Me so hoh-nee, me love you long time!” Instead,…

In the Reagan years alternative culture trends came and went with such speed that only a desperate fool tried to keep up. I was a desperate fool, and I tried at times to keep up, but I was too slow…

It all started two weeks ago. There is a certain person, whom I will hereafter refer to as a Little Birdie, who often sends the eXile materials and ideas for stories and pranks, without getting any credit for contributing. Two…

The eXile is soliciting commentary on the following article, written by Michael Wines of the New York Times. We need your help in attaining a more perfect understanding of this article. Send your comments to editor Matt Taibbi at taibbi@exile.ru,…

His name was Pobornik. He had never read The New York Times. He would never be able to recognize a classic “pyramid lead.” His hours were occupied by other pursuits: grazing, sleeping standing up for long stretches, swatting away insects with…

In the autumn of 1998, I got a call from Edward Limonov asking me if I could do a favor for him. His newspaper Limonka—known for its mix of extreme politics and avant-garde aesthetics—was preparing to celebrate its fourth anniversary at…

Lost amid the furor over the takeover of the Media Most empire is the following crucial truth: that of the key figures on either side of the controversy, none of them would be genuinely sexually appealing to any comely 16-year-old…

Three men convicted of producing the class B controlled drug opium were each jailed… In each man’s case Judge McDonald took two years’ jail as the starting point for sentence. Otago Daily Times (April 17, 2001) It takes radio signals…

A [sic] BEFORE DYING Dear editor. Now that i have retired i would like to take this opportunity to thank you for all the support that you’ve given me over the years. But i still think that you’re papers full…

This is the cover of issue #10 of The eXile, published June 1997.

The world has two extremely opposite opinions about them: 1. The destiny of Jewish tribe is terrible tragedy. It is exceptionally tragical. The Jews are martyrs of History. They are persecuted by non-Jews. 2. The Jews are ruling the world…

This is the cover of issue #9 of The eXile, published June 1997.

Could anything be more frightening than the thought of Russian service becoming as full of gushing smiles, how-can-I-help-yous and have-a-nice-days as the average California juice shop? We at the eXile believe that the final death blow to the Russian soul…

I can tell you God’s plan for this place very concisely: God created this place as a critique of me. – John Dolan I hate this time of the year. Being stuck in the Moscow heat is like unpaid overtime…

Whenever they travel overseas, most Americans are aware that the locals hate them, but few know why. Usually Americans ascribe bad blood to jealousy. Iranian flag-burning mobs? Uneducated, unfortunate and misguided people, afraid of progress. Okinawans? Sore losers, still mad…

This is the cover of Issue # 8 of The eXile, published May 1997.

Virtually every unmarried person-and certainly every unmarried man-who reads Moscow newspapers knows what he’s looking at when he sees an ad for “Massage.” Though The Moscow Times long ago disposed of the word in favor of the even more meaningless…

Almost two years ago, on the eve of the 50th anniversary of Russia’s victory over the Nazis, I experienced the quintessential evening of Moscow Decadence. It began at around midnight in the parking lot of the Young Pioneer’s stadium. My…