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A “Westerner’s” severed head was found in a plastic bag hanging from a rope from a bridge in Thailand on Monday. Turns out he wasn’t murdered, he was just depressed. And he wasn’t just any ol’ Westerner: he was a 53-year-old Italian named Maurizio Tosadori. So he tied a rope around his neck and jumped from the Rama VIII bridge, leaving nothing behind but an indecipherable note that one Italian embassy official believed had coded messages indicating a “Russian mob-style execution.” Now why would they go ‘n say that, huh? Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black: an Italian holding racist views about Russians all being mobsters! Everyone knows that Russians are peaceful, conscientious citizens of GAIA.

Anyway, for your viewing pleasure, here are a couple of photos you can load into your grandmother’s digital photo frame for Mother’s Day.

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Posted: February 26th, 2009

The reigning czarina of Russian sluts, the ever-ambitious Karina Barbie, released a poorly-edited video of herself practicing her poledancing moves when she was 17. Note that she’s poledancing in her parents’ home, with her babushka walking back and forth sans underwear (like babushka, like Karina). That’s right, mom and grandma bought their little baby Karina a pole and set it up in the middle of their provincial apartment living room so that their daughter could practice sliding around on it. Ah, the Third Rome, where would we be without it… (more…)

Posted: February 23rd, 2009

Today, Drudge and the rightwingers are going crazy red-alerting CNBC’s Rick Santelli as some kind of righteous anti-Obama freemarket revolutionary. There’s a clip of him standing in the middle of the Chicago Exchange, yelling: “The government is promoting bad behavior! Do we really want to subsidize the losers’ mortgages?!!!! This is America!!!!!” (Does anyone recall Santelli screaming like this over the much larger bailout of his Wall Street friends? Or does he only squeal when regular middle-class Americans get some help?) The big question for Santelli is this: Why does this idiot, who talked about how the global economy was “healthy” and America’s soon would be too, still have a job?  (more…)

Posted: February 19th, 2009

Joe the Copywriter (whose identity we’re not revealing yet) was fired less than 24 hours after we posted an  article with him railing on his incompetent bosses at the Yellow Pages company. He gloated that these Just-For-Men-highlight-wearing-morons were too clueless to fire him. But he spoke too soon. It seems there is something those execs are very good at: running a Gestapo-style espionage operation against their employees. (more…)

Posted: February 16th, 2009

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Posted: February 13th, 2009

This hussie, named Karina Barbie, is hugely popular in Russia, a kind of low provincial Carmen Elektra. She’s originally from the central Kazakh town of Karaganda, which is a euphemism in Russian for “backwater.” Buck-toothed and head slightly askew, it’s not clear how she broke through to national celebrity status or what she had to do to get there. But now she’s frequently interviewed on serious programs on Russian TV and is a regular fixture on the Kremlin-backed Internet TV for teens, Russia.ru. All you see in this video is real. She usually includes her sullen, unhappy babushka in her shots, while she strip dances in various trashy wigs and flashes her bare snapper. It would be avant-garde Vice magazine trash fashion, if only it weren’t so authentic.

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Posted: February 3rd, 2009

This year, Sundance got shoved back toward its mid-‘80s roots as a small nowheresville festival in an ugly ski town showcasing bad independent films nobody wants to buy or see.

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Posted: January 24th, 2009

Today’s calendar girl collection, newly minted for 2009, comes courtesy of Kerch Yard, a Ukrainian shipyard in the Eastern Crimean town of Kerch. According to our sources, “kerch” comes from an Old East Slavic word for “throat,” and the town’s name alludes to the narrow slit, eh, we meant strait, on which it has been situated for the last thousand years. But as this calendar shows, the “kerch” can allude to entirely something else. Thing is, “kerch yard” literally translates to “throat yard” or, more generally, “an area of land used for storing throats.” And gosh darn it, those Ukrainians really know how to make some really nice ones.

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Posted: January 20th, 2009

As per our promise, we just posted four more eXile issues from way back when. Check ’em out below or go to the eXile Classics pages for a up-to-date listing. We’ll be updating it weekly.

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Issue #4, April 1, 1997 — The eXile starts with the telephone pranks. First victim: German embassy. Topic: rumored buy-back of Kaliningrad for a few black Mercs. Limonov calls Solzhenitsyn a sell out. (more…)

Posted: January 13th, 2009

An Old Wacko Makes Us Proud to Be American

We don’t know what America’s poets are doing today, but we know what they ought to be doing: composing songs in honor of Robert Sylvester, the aged gunman who robbed a Check’n’Go market in Bloomington, Indiana, hopped into his SUV and shot it out with the cops in the middle of the highway. (more…)

Posted: January 9th, 2009

The lights are going out on Broadway as show after show closes: Hairspray, Young Frankenstein, and Boeing-Boeing got zapped right around the new year, and somewhere in late 2008 Rent, Cry-baby, and Xanadu also flamed out. The relief is stupendous. With any luck the whole theatrical profession will be kaput by 2010. Just think of all that wonderful darkness and silence where the revival of Grease used to be!
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Posted: January 9th, 2009

Hi,

I wrote you a letter years ago and i was astonished to find (when doing an ego search) my name on the net. I hate finding my name on the net, I don’t have a net presence! Can you please remove any reference to me or not use my name. I was young and foolish then. (more…)

Posted: January 8th, 2009

In celebration of the second printing of The eXile book, we’ve decided to start the painfully dull process of merging the vast and greatly disorganized eXile Canon into a complete and definitive collection, which will now officially be referred to as “The eXile Classics”.

It’s a work in progress. So far, we’ve posted four issues from out historic beginnings during the winter of 1997. Check them out here.

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Posted: December 24th, 2008

Yea, the Lord has heard thine prayers, and He, in His infinite Sadism, has answered thee: back on sale, newly printed up, is the record of The eXile’s early beginnings. It’s The eXile: Sex, Drugs and Libel in the New Russia (Grove), first published in 2000. Click the cover to order it through amazon, or order buy it from your favorite overpriced neighborhood bookseller.

Posted: December 23rd, 2008

Damn! Who knew that Greek women were so gorgeous! While the dudes look like the anti-globalist hippies of any European country fresh from the set of the The Edukators, the chicks are something else: totally and unexpectedly slamming. Sign us up for the Athens “riots”!

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Posted: December 19th, 2008

It seems that after eXile’s 11 long years of celebrating drug use, some of our more skeptical readers still don’t think we’ve been candid enough about our drugs use. Well, it just goes to show that you people aren’t just cowards, you’re imbeciles, too. So bending to lowest denominator reader demands, we are going to start explicitly admitting our drug use so that you can work up the courage and be just like us. (more…)

Posted: December 17th, 2008

We’re not sure if this is a photo shoot for a real gymnastics team or a tryout for some sort of jailbait gymnasts’ fetish site. Whatever it is, we look at these tyolkas and cannot help but think: “With ruble devaluation just around the corner, there has never been a better time than now to invest in Russia.”

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Posted: December 12th, 2008

Russian companies know that sex sells. They also have a ridiculous amount of hot chicks working in them. Putting tyolka and tyolka together, they had a light bulb marketing moment: “Let us not imprison our talent in offices and simply waste it on paper pushing (and the occasional extra-marital blow job). Let us be proud and show them off to the world.” The girls couldn’t be more pleased. In fact, everyone was pleased. And that’s the story of how every Russian company got to have their own “Girls of [Insert Company Name Here]” calendar series.

Today’s Russian Calendar Girl Collection comes from Corbina Telecom, a medium-sized Internet provider. This calender is a bit trashier than the previous two. But hey, who’s complaining. (more…)

Posted: December 9th, 2008

Worried? We can help.

Our technical Web team has recently brought to our attention that our Web site is increasingly being hit with search queries written in the form of a question. Some are anthropological: “What does the people look like in Mauritius?” (more…)

Posted: December 8th, 2008

Posted: December 8th, 2008