“So many corrupt bankers, so few lethal-injection tables.”

How many times have you heard that lately? Yes, it’s a common complaint in America today. In these difficult economic times, we have a lot of justice to mete out to the people who have destroyed our lives. But we don’t have much money to do it, and we don’t want to contribute to global warming either. How to solve all three problems? How can we possibly put to death all of the bankers and their minions without hurting your wallets or GAIA’s delicate balance? The answer is “Made in China”: a fleet of new mobile execution vans that can make America’s looming Mass Arrests efficient, clean, and cheap. Let’s face it: why should we taxpayers pay to keep these criminals alive in leisurely prisons with TV sets and “prisoners’ rights” and endless costly court appeals? What about our rights, huh? What about us, the victims? It seems like the so-called justice system is more about the criminal’s rights than the victim’s! We want the bankers and their promoters tried, sentenced, and put to death in as speedy, clean and cost-effective a manner as possible. And now, after years of these same plutocrats shipping American jobs to China, we can finally say that a “Made In China” death chamber that puts one banker to death while driving at top speed to the next banker’s office is something worth buying. It’s cheap, reliable, and it’s funny as fuck. (more…)

CNBC’s Jim Cramer has positioned himself as yet another champion of the people against the evil government. A couple of days ago, the method-actor/ CNBC host of “Mad Money” stirred up a hullabaloo when he pretended to be angry and attacked the Obama government’s economic program as “the greatest wealth destruction I’ve seen by a president.”

Right. Let’s leave aside for a moment the fact that Cramer is a giant welfare queen whose salary is subsidized by the $139 billion taxpayer dollars to his parent company, General Electric. For now, let’s just try and answer this simple question:  “Who destroys your wealth more: Obama or Jim Cramer?” (more…)

In the great debate about the stimulus package — which, underneath all the cant is really nothing more than a debate about how America’s scarce wealth should be divided —  one of the right wing’s favorite mantras was their claim that the New Deal did nothing to end the Depression. Instead, they argue, it was World War Two that ended the Depression.
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Although it’s more fun to trash the villains and suckers who dominate our dying empire, if the rare hero appears and says something courageous and decent, then it becomes our professional duty to salute her. That hero is Ohio congresswoman Marcy Kaptur (D-Toledo), who recently called for distressed homeowners to squat in their houses and fuck off the banks who have fucked over the country. (more…)

First there was Hitchens’ comically idiotic attempt at gonzo waterboarding, in which the macho British warmonger lasted all of 11 seconds, even after he massively cheated in order to make the waterboarding as unfrightening as possible. Now he’s spinning a recent hilarious ass-kicking he suffered in Beirut as some kind of principled macho neocon bravado. (more…)

Masha Gaidar, the hot elitny daughter of Russia’s first and worst prime minister, Yegor Gaidar (who introduced “shock therapy” back in 1992, wiping out everyone’s savings), announced today that she agreed to take a government post as an advisor to Kirov governor Nikita Belykh. Just recently, Gaidar accused Belykh of “selling his soul to the devil” when he accepted the governorship of the Kirov region. Looks like every liberal soul has a price. (more…)

My fellow Americans (as you like to be called), you now have the opportunity to prove that you are not passive slaves, the “sheeple” that they say you are. Over the past few months you’ve been forced to face the awful fact that you’ve been robbed blind on a scale that makes the Russian oligarchy look like squeamish Swedish socialists by comparison. So far, you haven’t done a fucking thing. Haven’t lifted a finger against them. The best you can come up with is either suicide (oo, that’ll teach the plutocrats not to steal your money and ruin you!) or burning your foreclosed houses down (a nice start, but still, why not burn down the bankers’ houses?).

But there’s still time to prove that you’re not passive, pathetic serfs. (more…)